


Unfound Family

by tonks42



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bullying, Homophobia, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Out With A Bang Big Bang, PTSD, Past Child Abuse, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-05
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-04-07 16:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 62,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4270629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonks42/pseuds/tonks42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After years in foster care, finding himself moving in with a new family has become all too frequent of a routine for Blaine. But in the aftermath of an attack at a school dance, Blaine finds himself living with a family that’s like nothing he’s experienced before. Life at the Berry’s home is a whole new world. Despite his struggles at McKinley and having to learn to live with Rachel, he doesn’t want to move on, especially considering the new friendship he’s forming with Kurt and the glee club everyone keeps trying to convince him to join.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from a quote from the National Adoption Center - "There are no unwanted children. Just unfound families."
> 
> I would also like to thank the two artists who worked with me on this for all their hard work. elfinder made a great fanmix for it, with awesome cover art as well, and chamilet made the wonderful cover.
> 
> Thanks also go to Tchrgleek for her wonderful beta-ing. Thank you so much for reading through all of this, giving me great advice, and saving me from typos.

 

Please enjoy the fanmix to accompany the story by clicking on the cover or following the link: <https://www.dropbox.com/s/a576z9vch2gqssw/Unfound%20Family%20mix.zip?dl=0>

 [](https://www.dropbox.com/s/a576z9vch2gqssw/Unfound%20Family%20mix.zip?dl=0)

 

 

 

Blaine wasn’t sure whether deciding to come out was the best decision he’d ever made or the worst. There were benefits. He could live freely, no longer afraid that someone was going to find out the secret that he’d started to feel was overwhelming him. He no longer had to worry that he was going to say the wrong thing, that something was going to slip. That someone was going to see through him, about that at least.

Right now? Blaine was questioning that decision like never before. Why hadn’t he decided to just keep his head down and keep it in? Hadn’t he had enough life lessons about that before this? Even times for life to prove that if you make yourself into whatever people want to see, the pain is less? Apparently not. Because here he was, regretting every decision he’d made in the last month.

It had started with words, at first just whispered in the hallways, and then louder and louder as no one stepped in to stop them. Notes had started to find his way into his textbooks and elbows had started to find their way into his ribs as he walked down the hallways. Elbows became shoves, leaving bruises. But bruises were nothing new. Words were nothing new. Not even these words. His father had left bruises. His mother had preferred words. Blaine had known before he could really read that both could leave marks.

So really, he should have expected this, Blaine supposed, taking a moment to force breath back into his lungs as he stared at the word that had been sharpied boldly across his locker. Fag. He felt tears prick his eyes and forced them back. He would not give them the pleasure of seeing him break down in tears. Not here in the middle of the hallway. He’d learned that from a previous foster father. Show that it bothers you and things will only get one hundred times worse.

Blaine’s hands shook as he twisted the dial on the lock. He just had to get his biology book out, and he could get out of this place. He could go look up how to get that marker off his locker.

Blaine shoved the book into his battered backpack, zipping it up as he walked down the hallway. If he could just make it to the door without any more name calling or shoves, he could get out of this hell hole without breaking down into tears.

The fact that it was a friendly voice calling out his name didn’t make Blaine jump any less high. “Blaine! Wait up!”

Blaine slowed his footsteps down, forcing a wavering smile onto his face. “Hi, Ian.”

“Safety in numbers?” Ian suggested with a wry smile as he fell into step beside Blaine, pushing the door open to take them out into the autumn sunshine.

“You don’t have Jazz Band today?” Blaine asked, relieved that Ian seemed not to have noticed his locker. Right now, Blaine just wanted to be able to pretend that everything was normal.

“Mr. Williams got strep or something. Man, I can’t wait to turn sixteen and not have to walk,” Ian sighed with a glance toward the upperclassmen piling into cars in the parking lot. “Three more months.”

Blaine just made a noncommittal noise. He still had more than a year and half, not that it would matter. Who was going to buy him a car? “At least it’s not raining today.”

“True!” Ian spun around, reaching his arms up toward the blue sky. Blaine pulled on the ends of his backpack straps, tugging it closer. Part of him loved how free Ian always seemed to feel. How easy it was for his friend to be himself. The rest? Sometimes he worried that Ian called too much attention to them. They were already the only two guys out of the closet at this school. They drew enough attention without Ian’s exuberance. “Although, if it was pouring we could dance in the rain and jump in puddles,” Ian hopped over a crack in the sidewalk as if in demonstration.

“I’d rather not catch cold,” Blaine muttered, kicking a rock out of his way.

“Speaking of dancing, did you see the posters for the Sadie Hawkins?” Ian didn’t even give Blaine time to nod or shake his head before he continued. “A dance where the girls ask the boys? What good is that if you don’t want a girl asking you?”

“I guess they just wanted something different. Homecoming is really late this year, so maybe they’re just trying to fill in the gap,” Blaine suggested.

“Well, they could have done it another way. And who the heck schedules Homecoming for November anyway? Hey, wait…” Ian spun around, walking backwards so that he could face Blaine. “Why don’t we buck tradition? Go together. As friends.”

“I- Are you asking me to the dance?” Blaine hesitated, feeling like the bottom was dropping out of his stomach.

“I am.” Ian dropped down to one knee on the sidewalk, reaching out to tug one of Blaine’s hands off of his backpack strap. “Blaine Anderson, would you accompany me to the Sadie Hawkins dance in the ultimate gesture of friendship?”

Blaine’s gut screamed that this was a horrible idea, but then there was Ian looking at him hopefully. Ian who had just immediately accepted Blaine for who he was. Gay. Foster kid. All of it. Ian who had become a friend so quickly that Blaine forgot that he hadn’t always known him. There was no way he could say no to Ian. “I- We’ll have to be really careful.”

* * *

 

 

Blaine couldn’t hold back a laugh as he and Ian pushed through the heavy, double doors of the gym and out into the cool night air. “You were right. This was a great idea.”

Ian spun around, dress shirt damp with sweat from the confined space and a smile to match Blaine’s on his face. “Cheesy high school dances are always a great idea. Even if we had to stick to fast songs, we got to see the gaudy decorations and drink some god awful punch.”

Blaine nudged his shoulder into Ian’s. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“I think they made it with someone’s gym socks,” Ian said with a mock serious expression on his face.

“I’m sorry that we have to leave so early,” Blaine sighed, looking up at the stars in the night sky, stepping farther out away from the school.

“You have a curfew. I understand. It’s not like my parents mind us going home early. My dad will be here to pick us up anytime now.” Ian dropped the act, answering sincerely. “I’m just glad you got to come.”

“Me, too. I’m pretty sure I was only allowed because they don’t actually know that you’re gay. Or because they thought maybe I’d change my mind when I saw all the girls dressed up.”

Ian bumped back into Blaine’s shoulder, “I’m sorry they suck. But you know that you always have a refuge at my place whenever you might need it. My parents love you.”

“Oooh. Is that how it is now?”

Blaine jumped at the deep voice behind him, turning back to see three of the football players staring right at them. “We’re just leaving.” Blaine tried to force calm into his voice as he recognized the speaker. He’d shoved Blaine into enough lockers to be a face Blaine would never forget.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

Blaine didn’t even see who said that. Three jocks seemed to have become more. Or maybe it just felt that way as he saw a punch knock the wind out of Ian. Something hard - a boot maybe or a bat, made contact with his knee. He heard the pop just before he fell, pain radiating out over his entire body. His head hit the concrete with a thunk and time seemed to lose meaning. There were nasty words and pain raining down on him one second and there was Ian’s father leaning over him the next only to be replaced with the ceiling of an ambulance.

The next thing he remembered were the bright lights of the emergency room. His head throbbing. His leg throbbing. People talking. People touching him, cutting off the only pair of dress clothes he owned, the shirt he’d worked so hard to iron perfectly.

“Does he have a wallet on him? School ID? Anything? We need to find his parents.”

“Not my parents,” Blaine slurred, his tongue feeling dry and rough in his mouth. “Justin. Call Justin.”

A brighter light flashed into his eyes, and he blinked them closed for a moment before he opened them to see a small woman in a white lab coat. “Glad to see you back with us, Blaine. Follow my finger?” It was work, forcing his eyes to focus as she moved it about his face. It was work just to keep them open. “Good boy. Now, why should we call Justin?”

“My caseworker.” Blaine fought the pull under, struggling to stay awake. “What happened? How did I get here?”

The doctor turned to the woman beside her and barked out orders. “Get someone to call DCFS. Order a head CT and get someone from ortho down here to look at that knee.” She turned back to Blaine, her tone gentler. “Do you remember going to a dance at school?”


	2. Chapter 2

Hiram’s heart sped as he saw the name on the caller I.D. of his phone. He wiped his hands on the towel he’d been using to dry dishes and grabbed it up off of the kitchen counter forcing out a deep breath before he answered. After starting the process of classes, paperwork, and background checks at the beginning of the summer, their final approval as foster/adopt parents had only come the week before. He tried to convince himself that this was more likely a call about some paperwork issue than a child. They’d been warned that making the right match might take months. “Hello?”

“Hiram? It’s Justin. Are you somewhere you can talk for a few minutes? Is Leroy around?”

“Is something wrong? I thought our homestudy had been approved?” Hiram couldn’t keep his mind from jumping right from the best to the worst possible scenario. Maybe the state of Ohio had decided at the outset that two men couldn’t be fit parents after all, even though they’d already been raising a child for sixteen years and been reassured by Justin that the length of their relationship could substitute for the marriage license they weren’t allowed to have together.

“Oh no. Nothing like that. Everything is still fine,” Justin assured him.

“Alright. Let me get Le… Oh, here he is.” Speak of the devil, Hiram thought, giving his husband a tight smile. He covered the phone turning to fill Leroy in. “It’s Justin. I’m not sure what’s going on, but he wanted to talk to both of us.”

“Why don’t you put him on speaker?” Leroy pulled out a barstool, perching on the edge of it.

“Leroy’s here. I’m putting you on speaker,” Hiram said back into the phone. He tapped the button and set the phone down on the counter in between the two of them, leaning against the cool granite.

“Evening, Leroy. I’m glad I caught both of you together. I wanted to talk to both of you about a potential placement.”

“Already?” Hiram stared wide eyed across the phone to Leroy, who looked just as surprised. Neither of them had expected it to happen this soon.

Justin chuckled over the phone. “Already. Although… I’ll be honest that he doesn’t quite fit the criteria of child you were most interested in having placed with you. He is available for adoption, but I’d also be open to the option of this being a short term placement while I find another option.”

The two men exchanged looks. This wasn’t how either of them had envisioned this phone call going. “Is there something… wrong?” Leroy fumbled over the words. “A behavior problem?”

“No, no. It’s nothing like that. With everything they’ve gone through, I don’t know that I have any child on my caseload with zero behavior problems, but his have never been major. Nothing you two couldn’t handle.” Justin hesitated on the other end of the phone line. “Blaine is simply closer in age to Rachel than I’d like. She’s still older, but he would be in high school with her.”

Hiram let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding and then mouthed the name Justin didn’t seem to realize he’d used. Blaine. Somehow hearing a name made it all seem more real. This was a real boy, er, teenager that Justin was talking about who could really be coming to live with them.

“He’s in high school?” Leroy asked.

“A freshman. Rachel is a sophomore, right? He’s 14. He won’t be fifteen until May.”

Leroy nodded, even if Justin couldn’t see the gesture, Hiram could. He met his husband’s eyes across the counter, and Hiram could tell that Leroy was as open to considering this as he was. How could they turn Justin down without actually knowing more when there was a boy in need of a home?

“It sounds pretty urgent. Did something happen?” Hiram asked, unsure of how to phrase his question. From what he’d understood, adoptive placements usually happened at a slower pace than foster ones.

“Have you watched the news today? There was an incident at a dance last night?” At the negative noises he heard over the phone, Justin continued, “It may not have been covered in Lima yet. The basic situation is that two boys decided to go together to their school dance, and some narrow minded classmates beat them up badly enough for both of them to end up in the hospital.”

“And Blaine was one of the those boys? He’s in the hospital?” Hiram could feel his heart catch in his chest as Leroy reached across the cool granite to grab his hand.

“He is. The doctor’s think he’ll be here until at least mid-week, but then, well, conversations with I’ve had with his current set of foster parents today have shown me that their house might not be an emotionally safe place for Blaine to go home to,” Justin suddenly sounded exhausted across the line.

“Are you calling us about taking him because we’re gay?” Leroy asked, eyes narrowing.

“No, well, not primarily. I don’t want to risk Blaine’s mental health further by putting him into another homophobic home. So yes, the fact that you are a gay couple does mean that I don’t have to worry about him dealing with homophobia from either of you. But honestly, it’s partly that I’m running out of options. The only group home placements I have free right now are in facilities for kids with behavior problems. We don’t have a lot of open foster beds at any point in time willing to take a teenage boy. But I also think that Blaine would be a really good fit for your family. In middle school, he was part of the school choir and part of several drama performances. He’s very musical. His middle school chorus teacher was giving him free piano lessons after school, and it’s amazing how quickly he was able to pick it up. I could see him fitting right in with evenings around the piano singing together,” Justin finished.

Hiram squeezed Leroy’s hand and spoke up. “Can I talk to Leroy about this privately?”

“Of course. Just give me a call back to let me know what you decide or if you have any further questions. I’m at the hospital right now, so if I can’t answer, just leave me a voicemail and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.”

“Thank you, Justin. We’ll talk to you soon,” Leroy said reaching out to disconnect the call with a tap to the screen of the phone.

Silence reigned in the kitchen for a long moment before Hiram spoke up, “How could we say no to this?”

“It’s not what we’d expected,” Leroy sank back against the refrigerator. “I had this vision in my mind of a ten or twelve year old.”

“I did, too,” Hiram admitted. “But do you remember what we told Justin about why we wanted to adopt?”

“It had nothing to do with a temporary placement, did it?” Leroy asked, even though he knew the answer. “We want another child. We’ve loved raising Rachel, and we want to have that experience again.”

“But we don’t want to go all the way back to having a newborn again, even if we could afford a surrogate and set aside the money we’ll need for two college tuitions at the same time,” Hiram said with a shake of his head.

“I didn’t imagine another high schooler, but would it be a bad thing?” Leroy tilted his head back against the hard, steel front of the refrigerator. “Rachel would still be the oldest. They wouldn’t even still be in the same grade.”

“Maybe they’d have more in common that way.” Hiram paused to consider it. “I know we’d talked about being okay with having a child who was more interested in something like sports than music or theater, but wouldn’t it be great to have all of us be able to share songs?”

Leroy nodded, straightening up to face his husband. “Maybe Blaine will be exactly the right fit. And if he isn’t? How do we leave him in a hospital with no one? That could have been either of us when we were younger. Today even.”

Hiram stood, walking around the counter to pull Leroy into his arms. “But it wasn’t, and it shouldn’t have been him. We’re saying yes, aren’t we?”

Leroy pulled away from the hug to nod thoughtfully. “But maybe just as a foster placement? I can’t say no, but what if he does end up being too old or too close in age to Rachel?” Leroy paused, tapping his hand on the cool steel of the refrigerator behind him. “But maybe if it does work out, we could still adopt him. If it doesn’t, we wouldn’t be tied into something long term that isn’t right for us or for Rachel.”  

* * *

 

 

“Hello, this is Justin, how may I help you?”

Hiram let out a held breath, grateful to have an answer only a few rings in. “Justin. It’s Hiram.”

“Hiram. Thank you for getting back to me so quickly. Just give me a moment to step outside.” Hiram could hear the click of a door and the background noise fading out. “Alright, I’m ready thank you. I was in with Blaine.”

“How’s he doing?” Hiram asked quickly.

“They have him on enough pain killers right now that he’s pretty loopy but not hurting at least,” Justin said. “Did you two come to a decision or did you have more questions for me?”

“A decision and then questions,” Hiram said, pacing across his living room. “Leroy had to run to pick up Rachel from dance class, but we had plenty of time to discuss this before he left. We do want to have Blaine come stay with us, at least until you find another placement for him. If we accept him on a shorter term basis, could we later change our minds and move toward adopting him?”

“That is definitely a possibility. At Blaine’s age, it’s unlikely that I’d find another adoptive family in the meantime. What I don’t want to happen though, is for Blaine to find out that that’s a possibility until you two are sure. I don’t want him to be trying to put on a show to get the two of you to decide to adopt him. That means that you really shouldn’t tell Rachel that it’s a possibility either,” Justin replied.

“That makes sense.” Hiram froze, planting his feet into one place on the glossy concrete floor of the modern living room. “What would be our next steps, then?”

“I know that tomorrow is Sunday, but would the two of you be available to come meet Blaine?” Justin asked. “I’d really like him to have the chance to get to you know at least a little bit before he’s out of the hospital. It will make the transition easier for everyone.”

“Both of us are off tomorrow, so we can arrange that. Maybe about one?” Hiram suggested.

“One sounds good. I’ll make sure to be here as well. I’ll email you with the address, and Blaine’s room number. Text me when you get here, and I’ll come out and meet you,” Justin said slowly, forming the plan in his head as he spoke. “I’ll have some paperwork for you to sign as well, and I can go more in depth with you about Blaine’s current medical needs. Sound good?”

“That will work. We’ll see you tomorrow,” Hiram replied.

* * *

 

Justin shut his phone and let himself sag against the bare hospital wall for a moment. It hadn’t even been twenty four hours since he’d gotten the phone call from the hospital that Blaine had been brought in. The longest not quite twenty four hours he’d had in a long time. Not only had he been worried about Blaine, he’d had an epic battle to fight in keeping his temper in check when Blaine’s foster father had finally answered his phone and reacted to the news of what had happened with, “Well, what else could the sissy expect?” It had only gone downhill from there, until Justin had been 100 percent sure that Blaine was never stepping foot back in that home.

Having everything sorted out with Berrys was a huge weight off his chest. He hadn’t been lying about how hard it was to find a good home for a fourteen year old boy, even without factoring siblings into the conversation. He had a gut feeling that Blaine and the Berry family were going to be a good match.

Justin took one more deep breath and pushed himself up off the wall. He turned and pushed open the door to Blaine’s room. His slid his phone back into his pocket as he strode back to the chair he’d pulled up next to Blaine’s bed. “Blaine, can we pause the movie and talk?”

Blaine fumbled uncoordinatedly for the remote beside him. With the push of a button the room went silent, Robert Downey Jr. frozen on the screen in full Iron Man costume. “Is something wrong?”

Justin ignored the slight slur to Blaine’s words. He knew that he might have to repeat this conversation tomorrow if Blaine’s painkiller dosages were lowered, but it still felt important to have it before he had to go home. “Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to let you know about something that’s happening, before I have to go for the night. When you get out of the hospital, you’re not going back to the Marshall’s.”

“I’m not?” Blaine’s eyes widened. “Why not?”

“I think you know exactly why not,” Justin kept his tone level, even though he wanted to be frustrated with Blaine. This wasn’t the time or place for that. “Why didn’t you tell me what was going on?”

“You’re busy,” Blaine answered automatically. His eyes started to drift shut as he continued speaking, “Besides, it could always be worse. I was handling it alright.”

Justin resisted the urge to point out exactly how well his handling of it had worked for Blaine. After all, it really wasn’t his fault that he’d ended up here. It was the fault of the three newest residents of the local juvenile detention center. “But you shouldn’t have to handle it. I found a family that I think you’ll really fit in with. They’re—” he stopped mid-sentence when he saw that Blaine was drifting off. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow. Why don’t you take a nap? Iron Man will be here for you to finish when you wake up.”

* * *

 

Justin closed the file folder, sliding it from the hospital cafeteria table into his messenger bag before Hiram felt like he’d even had time to give the pen a click closed. “Alright, and now that that formality is done, I can give you more information on what I know about Blaine’s condition and what happened before we go see him, alright?”

Leroy nodded, crossing his legs as he leaned across the table. “How is he doing?”

“He’d have you believe he’s fine, whether he’s hurting or loopy on painkillers.” Justin pressed his hands to the edge of the table. “And what I’m finding out is you’ll have to keep a close eye on him with the number of things he hides behind a mask of fine. Physically, the doctors seem happy enough with how he’s doing.”

Justin paused, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. “He’s pretty bruised up and needed quite a few stitches. He has a fairly severe concussion. So far at least, he doesn’t have any real memories of what happened. The doctors aren’t sure when, or if, they’ll return. The memory loss seems to be limited to the few hours surrounding the dance. Right now his most serious injury is to his left leg. It seems that one of his assailants used a baseball bat to his knee to take him down. His orthopedist put it back into place in the ER, but they’ve been waiting for the swelling to go down some to do surgery.”

Hiram forced out an even breath, trying to match the calm that Justin showed. “When are they planning to do the surgery?”

“Tomorrow or Tuesday. They’re waiting to decide until they see how swollen it is tomorrow morning. They’re going to need to repair multiple ligaments. He has a pretty heavy duty brace on it now, keeping it immobile.” Justin pushed back from the table to stand. “Ready?”

Hiram nodded, reaching out to take give Leroy’s hand a quick squeeze as they stood. “I think so? Is there a right way to do this? It feels pretty awkward.”

Justin laughed, leading the way out of the cafeteria and toward the elevator. “I don’t think there’s any way to make this not awkward, honestly. But just relax and don’t let yourself get caught up in it.”

* * *

 

“Blaine?” Justin stepped just inside the door, letting it click shut behind him for the moment, leaving the Berrys in the hallway. He was glad to see the teenager was awake, the bed propped up to sit and flipping through channels on the small tv. “Your new foster parents are here. You up to meeting them?”

Blaine shrugged before slumping back against the bed. “Do I really have a choice?” He liked Justin well enough, but it wasn’t like he had any power in this. It was frustrating to be asked questions that Justin had clearly already decided the answer to, and today, Blaine didn’t have the patience to pretend like it wasn’t.

“I’m not going to force you today, Blaine, but I’d really like it if you did. They came quite a ways to meet you, and wouldn’t it be nicer when they spring you from this place to know who you’re going with?” Justin asked, clearly trying to keep his tone calm.

Blaine stared off toward the TV for a moment, even though he really had no interest at all in the infomercial it had landed on. He finally picked up the remote, hitting the power button.

“I suppose.”

Between the underlying pain and the medicine fading it down to a dull ache, Blaine couldn’t find the strength to muster up excitement over this. It would simply be yet another home. Yet another school. Yet another set of friends to make and then have to leave behind.

Blaine tried to ignore Justin’s searching look, instead taking the time to find just the perfect spot for the remote on the small table that was pulled up next to his bed. He could hear the door click back open, and only imagine what Justin was whispering to the people outside. Blaine closed his eyes for a moment, breathing in and out slowly to try to banish the sudden flood of anxiety that pushed past the doping effects of the painkiller. His last placement hadn’t been great, but he knew how much worse it could get. And if it was, how was he going to get away with his knee so screwed up?

Blaine popped his head up as Justin started talking. “Blaine? These are Leroy and Hiram Berry.”

Blaine couldn’t help but stare. Whatever he’d pictured, this - a multiracial, gay couple - was so far from it that he turned a questioning look on Justin. Was he playing some kind of trick on him?

“I’m Leroy. My husband and I are excited to have you come stay with us.” Blaine took the hand extended to him, careful of his own I.V., taking the opportunity to study the African American man offering it to him. There was a kindness in Leroy’s eyes that Blaine was afraid to believe was real.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Blaine forced out, suddenly aware of the fact that he must be making a horrible first impression. He hadn’t had the chance to see himself in a mirror yet, but he could feel the cuts and bruises on his face. He knew his left eye was halfway swollen shut. His hair had to be the most matted mass of frizzy curls ever, in spite of the nurse that had helped him wash it that morning.

Awkward silence covered the room for a moment. Blaine didn’t even know what to say to break it. Usually when he met a new set of foster parents for the first time, he was already walking into their house, and they’d sit him down for the family rules talk first thing. Blaine guessed that wasn’t what they were going for today, not while he was sitting in this hospital bed looking like shit, if the expressions of sympathy on the men’s faces were anything to go by.

“So, Blaine, you’re a freshman?” Hiram finally asked.

Blaine nodded in response, even though he was sure that the two men had already been told the answer to this. At least it was something to talk about. “I am. What- uh, what school district do you live in?”

“Lima Community. Our daughter goes to McKinley High,” Hiram answered, taking the initiative to move to grab one of the chairs in the room, gesturing toward the other one with a look at Leroy.

Blaine seized on that piece of information. “Your daughter? Do you have any other kids?” It was always good to know what he was going to be jumping into.

“Just Rachel,” Leroy added as he sat, putting him closer to Blaine’s level. “She’s a sophomore. You’ll be our first foster child.”

“And you’re jumping in with a teenager?” Blaine asked, trying not to sound shocked. But he knew how it worked. He’d been around long enough to know that few families wanted to deal with teens.

“Well, we already have one teenager,” Leroy pointed out with amusement. “Besides, we’re not jumping in with just any teenager. We’re jumping in with you.”

Blaine tried not to dwell on what that might mean.

Hiram piped back in when it was clear that Blaine didn’t have anything more really to say about that, “So Blaine, what do you like to do?”

“School takes up a lot of time. Studying and stuff,” Blaine considered the question, weighing the choice between the honest answer and the safe one. “I like to read. I like video games. I like music.”

“Justin said something about you taking piano lessons in the past? Would you like us to find a teacher for you again?” Leroy asked, a smile on his face.

Blaine turned to look over to Justin, suddenly self conscious of what else his social worker might have told them. He’s honestly almost forgotten that Justin was in the room, leaning quietly against the door frame, simply watching the meeting unfold. “You did?” Blaine addressed Justin directly, drawing him back into it.

“I did. Half their living room is taken up by a beautiful baby grand that you’re going to be drooling over. They’re both big music lovers, too,” Justin gave Blaine a quick, reassuring smile.

“Our Rachel is as well. She has Broadway dreams,” Leroy offered.

Blaine stared between the three of them for a moment, wondering what sort of alternate reality Justin had thrust him into. “I would like to take lessons again,” he finally admitted, cautiously. What if this was all a big joke?

* * *

 

Blaine stared listlessly at the T.V. in front of him, eyes half open. He honestly couldn’t care less about the talk show he’d settled on, but it had seemed like a good idea at the time. Something to distract him from the waves of nausea that had been rolling over him since he’d brought back to his own room from the surgical recovery room a half an hour or so before. He hadn’t thrown up since he’d first woken, but it seemed like the combination of coming off of the anesthesia and the pain medication he was still on was wreaking havoc on his system.

He couldn’t even raise the end of the bed up too far. He needed to keep his knee elevated in the special brace they were using to ice it.

Worst of all, he was alone. Justin was far too busy to spend the day there. He might stop by to check on him, see how the surgery went, but it wasn’t like having a parent to sit by your bed. This was one of the worst parts of being in care, Blaine had long ago decided. In the end, he was really the only he could count on in the world.

A knock on the door just before it started to push open startled him. The nurses generally just came right in. Who would be so hesitant about it?

Blaine twisted carefully in the bed, not wanting to upset his knee or his stomach any further. “Leroy?”

Blaine’s new foster father walked slowly into the room, the awkwardness from their first visit not totally dissipated. “Is it alright if I come visit for awhile?”

Blaine nodded slowly, trying to keep the surprise off his face. He reached out for the remote, clicking off the show he wasn’t really watching anyway. “A visitor would be nice,” he admitted.

Leroy grabbed a chair, pulling it over beside the bed to sink down into it, settling a leather messenger bag by his side. “It must be pretty boring stuck here by yourself, huh?”

“You have no idea,” Blaine muttered, letting his head sink back into his pillow.

“I also just wanted to check up on you. They did the surgery on your knee this morning, right? How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” Blaine covered, rather glad that the painkiller fueled honesty he’d been feeling lately wasn’t extending this far. There was no reason that Leroy needed to know that he still felt like he was going to vomit, even though he knew for a fact that his stomach was empty. Or that he was worried about the possibility of permanent damage to his knee. He was fine, and he was sticking by that.

Leroy nodded, hesitant. He paused for a moment before he reached into the messenger bag. “We thought that you must be getting pretty bored, so we put together a few things. I didn’t know what kind of books you might like, so those are what the bookseller recommended for a teenage boy.”

Blaine glanced at the titles curiously. The City of Bones. Graceling. He hadn’t read either of them yet. “Thank you. Really. I might be starting to go out of my mind. I can only watch so many soap operas and talk shows before I want to scream. I never thought I’d be looking forward to being back in math class, but-”

“Oh, you must be bored.” Leroy smiled more naturally. “Math not your favorite subject?”

“It’s alright. I don’t hate it, but it’s not something I look forward to in the day.” Although that could go for most of school lately, Blaine thought. For the company if not the academics.

Leroy nodded and then reached back into the messenger bag to pull out an iPod with a large sticker of a gold star on the back. “But Hiram and I also did some reading on concussions, and it said that reading too much might make your head hurt, so Rachel volunteered her iPod. I can’t vouch for any of the music on there, but I’m sure Rachel has wonderful taste.”

Blaine startled. Leaving him books was one thing. Leaving expensive electronics with him? That was something else entirely. “You’re trusting me with that?”

“Is there a reason we shouldn’t?” Leroy asked, arching his eyebrows.

“No. No. Not with me. It’s just- Most people wouldn’t…” Blaine trailed off, trying to come up with the right words to explain. “I really am your first foster child, aren’t I?”

“We certainly weren’t lying about that,” Leroy pointed out. “Are we doing something wrong?”

“No. Not wrong. Just odd. I’ve never had anyone just assume I was trustworthy,” Blaine explained. He could blame this all on the pain meds later if he over shared, he decided. “Usually it takes time to prove it.” Months often. Months that could equal a large proportion of the time he was with a family.

“Maybe we’re just not jaded enough for that yet, but I’d rather start off trusting you. If you prove I can’t, then well, I can always re-evaluate.” Leroy wrapped a pair of earbuds around the iPod, setting it on the table beside Blaine’s bed.

“Plus, it’s not like I can run off with it, right?” Blaine joked wryly, gesturing toward his propped up knee.

“How did the surgery go?” Leroy asked. “Any word on when we can take you home?”

“As far as I know, it went well. They don’t tell me that much.” Blaine picked at the thin hospital blanket he was laying on nervously. “Justin might know more. I hope it’s soon.”

“Starting to go stir crazy?” Leroy relaxed back into his chair, ready to talk now that his gifts for Blaine were given.

“Probably past starting,” Blaine admitted. “I don’t want to think about how much I’ll be missing at school, either.” Or to think about transferring. Again. He really didn’t want to go back to the school that had landed him here, but starting all over again? That didn’t sound like so much fun, either.

“Since you’ll be transferring in, I’m not sure there’s any way to get you make up work, either.” Leroy hmmed, considering it. “Hiram and I can help you get caught up if you need it. I’m an accountant, so if it’s the math that’s worrying you, that’s right up my alley.”

Blaine nodded, even as he doubted that he’d be going to either of them. Doing well in school had always been one thing he’d held in reserve to keep foster parents from worrying too overly much about him. Less attention or worry meant a smoother existence, in his experience.

“So…” Leroy glanced around the small room. “Should I bring a game tomorrow when I come visit? Uno or something? Any requests?”

“You’re coming back?” Blaine couldn’t keep the astonishment from his voice.

“Unless you’d rather I didn’t?” Leroy gave Blaine a long look, trying to read him. “I don’t like the idea of you being alone here. Hiram would come, too, but he works more regular hours. This is a slow time of year for me, so it’s easier to slip away.”

“No- Please feel free to-” Blaine paused mid sentence, feeling a flush color his cheeks. “The company is nice. I just didn’t expect it.”

“Good. Now that that’s settled, are you up for a game now? I’ve got a pad of paper in my bag, I’m sure. We could play some Tic Tac Toe, or I play a mean game of Hangman…”

* * *

Another knock on his door jarred Blaine awake from a half doze he’d fallen into after Leroy left. The sun was starting to set outside the room’s single window, leaving it hard to make out exactly who was pushing the door open with the lights in the room off.

When he came closer it became clear that it wasn’t the nurse that Blaine had expected to see, but an even better surprise. “Ian?”

“Did I wake you up?” Ian’s voice was more tentative than Blaine had ever heard it before.

Blaine stared over at him for a long moment, taking in the bruises and fat lip, the cast sticking out the end of the sling his arm was in, and the careful way Ian walked even though he was dressed in a pair of loose jeans and a t-shirt instead of a hospital gown.

“No. I wasn’t quite asleep,” Blaine fumbled for the right words. “And it’s worth being woken up to see you. Are you- You’re okay?”

Ian sank down carefully into the chair Leroy had left next to Blaine’s bed. “I guess so. Nothing that won’t heal at least, even if they did mess up my pretty face. Broken ribs. Broken arm. Brand new fodder for some doozies of nightmares,” Ian said tightly, caught somewhere between seriousness and sarcasm.

“I guess that’s a silly question, huh?” Blaine said with a soft sigh. “How could we be okay?”

“We will be, because they won’t keep us down.” Ian glanced down at his sling for a moment before he met Blaine’s eyes again. “At least I’m out of here today. How much longer are they holding you? Oh God. You’re not going back to the Marshall’s are you?”

Blaine shook his head. “No. Justin’s moving me again. I met the new family. They seem nice, but-” Blaine shrugged, letting that cover the ‘who knows?’ aspect of it all. “I should be out later this week. Are you going back to school?”

“Not this year at least.” Ian wrinkled his nose. “Dad is making sure that the police prosecute those meatheads. I’m going to go stay with my aunt and her family in Chicago. Dad and Mom want me out of the small town mindset for awhile, you know?”

Blaine nodded. He did know, even if he had no way out himself, not until he graduated high school at least.

Silence fell over them, and Blaine was unsure how to break it. Ian was always the jokester, the life of the party. He didn’t know what to say to an Ian without that light in his eyes.

Ian phone buzzed, and he took a quick look down at it. “That’s my mom. She got my prescriptions picked up. I should go meet her.”

“Good luck in Chicago,” Blaine said, unsure what else to add. He didn’t have a phone number to give Ian to stay in touch. He had no idea what his new address would be.

“Thanks. We’re going to prove those idiots wrong, you know?” Ian stood. “I’ll be waiting for you to find me on Facebook, whenever you manage to get with the times.”

Blaine watched him go, staring after the closed door for a moment before he broke down. There was safety for tears in an empty room, and he had plenty to let out for both of them.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

“I brought you a change of clothes,” Justin said as he strode in Blaine’s room. “I thought sweatpants might be the easiest thing to get over that brace.”

Blaine caught the grocery bag Justin tossed over, already sitting on the edge of his hospital bed. “I’d wear just about anything right now if it meant that I could change out of this hospital gown.”

Justin laughed. “I’m just going to step out into the hall. Call me when you’re changed. Or if you need help.”

Getting the baggy pants on didn’t turn out to be too hard. Not when he could lean against the bed for most of it. It was still awkward though, and Blaine was intensely glad that he could do it without an audience. He tugged on the sweatshirt that Justin had included and slid his feet into the slip on shoes, even if he wasn’t planning to really have one of them touch the ground. “Done,” he called, loud enough for Justin to hear him.

Justin stepped back in, propping the door open. “So, the doctor already signed the discharge papers. You ready to blow this popsicle stand?”

“Almost.” Blaine turned to pick up his books and the iPod. After a moment’s hesitation he slid them into the grocery sack. “Leroy brought these for me. I don’t want to forget them. I’m sure Rachel wants her music back.”

Justin reached out to grab the back so Blaine could pick up his crutches. “That was really nice of him. They wanted to come pick you up today, but I had to swing by the Marshall’s to get your belongings anyway so I thought this might be easier.”

Blaine moved slowly out of the room on his crutches. Despite practice with the nurses and the physical therapist who had come to see him, they were still awkward to use, especially in trying to keep them from jarring his bruised ribs. “It was. They gave you all my things?”

“If you’re missing anything, let me know, and I’ll do my best to get it back to you.” Justin walked calmly beside him, leaning in to hit the down button on the elevator. “Did the doctor talk to you about physical therapy?”

“One of the nurses did. I’ll have to go a few times a week?” Blaine asked.

“That’s the plan. I found a place in Lima for you, so you won’t have to be driven all the way back here.” Justin paused as they stepped into the elevator, waiting for the doors to close leaving the two of them alone in the small space before he continued. “I’m also considering whether you should start back into therapy. We could find you someone in Lima as well, I’m sure.”

Blaine hesitated, leaning his crutches into his armpits, pressing them in hard. “Because of this?”

“It wouldn’t be a bad idea to talk about it with someone who can help,” Justin pointed out.

“Help with what? I don’t even remember it. What would we talk about?” Blaine asked defensively.

“Your feelings. Your injury. The changes this has brought. Whatever you need to.” Justin studied Blaine’s face for a moment. “We’ll give it a week or two before we decide, alright? Unless you let me know sooner that you need someone.”

Blaine nodded a silent affirmation. It seemed easier just to go along for now. He could argue against it again in a week or two.

Justin hesitated for a moment, staring forward at the floor number slowly moving down on the elevator. “I may need to bring police officers by to talk to you again, especially if your memory of what happened starts to come back. Your friend Ian’s parents have been handling most of the go between with the authorities, since he has better memory of the events.”

Blaine nodded, avoiding turning to make eye contact by looking forward at the elevator doors. “What’s going to happen to them?”

“The boys that attacked you? They’re all under eighteen, so right now they’re in juvie, and after what they did, I’d expect them to spend a good amount of time there.” The elevator doors dinged open, and Justin put his hand out to make sure they stayed that way, letting Blaine exit first. “You don’t have to worry about seeing them on the street any time soon.”

Blaine didn’t reply, unsure of what to say to that. Was it wrong to be glad they were being punished? To hope that they hated juvie? Or was it supposed to be enough just to be relieved that they were safely locked up?

* * *

 

Blaine couldn’t help but stare through the car window at the neighborhood that Justin was driving toward. After much consideration at the hospital, they’d finally found that if Justin moved the passenger side seat all the way back, Blaine could sit with his knee straight. Sometimes being short paid off.

“It’s just around the corner here. You ready for this?” Justin asked as he flipped the lever to start the turn signal blinking.

“As I’ll ever be,” Blaine muttered.

Justin laughed as he pulled into the driveway of a one story, mid century house. “Just wait until you see it inside. This place is decidedly un-Ohio.”

The Berrys must have been hovering at the window waiting for the car to arrive because Justin barely had time to turn off the ignition before three bodies were streaming out of the house.

Blaine forced himself to open his door as Justin climbed out, opening the one behind him to get Blaine’s crutches. He couldn’t hide from this forever.

He’d just gotten himself levered out of the car and propped on crutches when there was a girl even shorter than he was right in front of him, bouncing on her toes.

“Oh! You must be Blaine! I’m so happy to meet you. I wanted to go visit you in the hospital, but my fathers said no. It was so horrible what those boys did to you. I just wanted to let you know that I think their actions were reprehensible.”

Blaine didn’t know what to do but stare as she talked. This had to be Rachel. No one had mentioned that she was such a force to be reckoned with. “Thank you?” He finally landed on. “It’s, uh, nice to meet you.” And once again, he felt self conscious as her eyes traveled over him. Lord knows what his curls were doing, and sweat pants was hardly the best look. Although, she was wearing a sweater with a rabbit on the front, so there was really no room to judge.

Hiram looked over from his conversation with Justin and his husband. “Rachel? Could you please show Blaine to his room so that he can get off his feet? We’ll be there shortly.”

“Sure! It’s right this way. Your room is going to be the one next to mine. It used to be our guest bedroom, so it’s kind of drab and boring, but my dads said that we could decorate it some, however you like.”

Blaine started to tune out Rachel’s voice as they moved into the house. It was nice not to have to respond past the occasional nod of the head because Justin had been right about this place. The living room was decorated in very modern furniture with a gorgeous piano and concrete floors that he was careful not to let his crutches slip on. The stained concrete extended into the hallway Rachel led him into. She was just opening the door of what looked like a very beige bedroom compared the rest of the house when he caught her words again. “Wait. You have a stage in the basement?”

“Oh yes. It’s for my fathers’ annual Oscar party. Well, originally it was. I also use it now for practice. I need to practice as much as possible if I’m going to make it to Broadway someday.” Rachel beamed over at that statement. “So, this will be your room. I think we should add a desk in here for homework, don’t you? But you have lots of closet space and a good dresser for your clothes. Through here there’s a jack and jill bathroom that leads to my room on the other side. Can we just agree to lock each other’s doors when we’re using it? That would keep there from being any embarrassing mishaps.”

Blaine nodded in agreement, turning carefully to sit on the edge of the bed. His embarrassment right now was limited to not wanting to admit just how much this trip had worn him out. “Sounds good.”

Rachel just beamed over, leaning a hand against the dark wood dresser. “I’ve always wanted to be a big sister.”

Blaine whipped his head up to stare at her at that. “You’re-” He stopped himself, not wanting to alienate his new foster sister within the first five minutes of knowing each other. Even when she said such crazy things. For one thing, they had just met. For another? Blaine knew that his time here was going to be limited. If it followed the patterns of the past, he’d be here for a year, tops, before getting shuffled on somewhere else. Eventually, he’d be old enough for an independent living program, and then he’d be finding his way to get through college on his own. But he was the first kid the Berrys had fostered. How was he supposed to expect Rachel to see that?

“Well, if nothing else, we’ll make sure he has some proper luggage.”

Blaine flushed as he heard the low rumble of a masculine voice in the hallway. He wasn’t sure who had made the comment, because Hiram and Leroy made their way into the bedroom together, carrying his things. He knew that most of it had probably fit in the tattered duffel Hiram was carrying, but the overflow had been shoved into his backpack and a trash bag in Leroy’s hands.

“That’s all you have?” Rachel asked staring at it.

Blaine nodded, just grateful that she hadn’t commented on the black trash bag that probably contained half his small wardrobe. “What else would I need?” he fired back, grabbing a crutch to prop himself up.

“Rachel, why don’t you go help your father get lunch ready?” Leroy shot a meaningful look toward his husband.

“Yes! I think that we have all the ingredients for a great watercress salad. Maybe we should whip up a light soup to go with it?” Hiram shooed Rachel out the door and down the hallway leaving Blaine and Leroy alone.

“Thank you.” Blaine sank back onto the bed with a soft sigh.

“No problem. She’s just excited. Now, would you like some help getting everything settled?” Leroy offered. “I can’t imagine unpacking would be easy on crutches.”

Blaine nodded, “I really just need my clothes in the drawers.” He eyed the duffel and trash bag. If the Marshall’s had packed them, his clothes were probably all just shoved inside and wrinkled. “I’ll probably need to fold them first.”

Leroy unzipped the duffel bag and stared at the jumble of clothes inside. “Maybe we should just sort it all, toss it in the wash, and start with it all fresh and clean.”

* * *

 

Blaine really wasn’t sure how he’d gone from helping Leroy unpack his few belongings to being stretched out on the couch, his leg propped on a pillow, an ice pack on his knee. He knew that dinner had happened in there somehow, but he still wasn’t sure exactly how that whirlwind had gone. It definitely didn’t resemble any meal he’d eaten at any of his other foster homes. Hell, it wasn’t like any meal he’d eaten anywhere. He was used to meat, potatoes and a veggie, not arugula and a cold soup.

And now? Now it was apparently song hour. He tried to keep the astonishment off his face when he’d been told as much. Nightly post-dinner singing had definitely not been part of the routine anywhere else he’d lived. Leroy had taken a seat on the piano bench as Rachel and Hiram worked their way through a repertoire of golden age Broadway songs. Blaine had thought that he knew musical theater, but they sang so many things that he’d never even heard of.

He clapped as they wound down on the current song. “Very nice.” Even if he’d only been half listening.

“Thank you!” Rachel gave a quick curtsy, despite the fact that her plaid skirt wasn’t nearly long enough to give a proper one. “Do you sing, Blaine?”

“I- not that much.” Blaine froze. Did he admit that he loved music? Could he say that before he’d even seen the layout of McKinley High? What if that was what would get him shoved into lockers here. “I was working on learning to play the piano, but…” he gestured down to the heavy brace on his knee.

“Well, that will be healed soon enough and we’ll have you back into lessons!” Hiram exclaimed. “Then you can help out Leroy with the accompaniment duties.”

Blaine nodded, willing to accept that. By the time he played well enough to accompany them, he’d probably be off to the next home, anyway. It was safe. “Sure.”

“Well, I think I’m played out for the night.” Leroy stood, shaking his hands out. “Should we watch a movie? Or maybe pull out a board game?”

Blaine sat up straighter, pulling the ice pack off his knee. “You don’t have to go to any special effort just because I’m here.”

“It’s not!” Rachel insisted, sinking down to sit on the floor next to the arm of the couch. “We just enjoy family time. We’re so busy on most nights that when we get the chance to be together we make the most of it.”

Leroy glanced over at all of them for a moment. “A board game, I think. How about Life?”

“Fine. But I get to be the pink car!” Hiram called back as he headed to the closet to pull it out.

Blaine shook his head. He’d always thought that families like this were something make up for TV. Well, no. Families with two dads didn’t even exist there. This was too fantastical to even get put on the screen.

* * *

 

Rachel had gone off to school the next morning, and Hiram had left for his office job, leaving Blaine and Leroy home alone together. Leroy had spent most of the morning in his home office working on some files for a local business, giving Blaine the privacy to hide in his room and finish off City of Bones. He’d just finished the last chapter when Leroy knocked on the door frame, sticking his head around the half open door. “You ready for some lunch, Blaine? I was thinking comfort food. Grilled cheese and tomato soup?”

“That sounds great.” Blaine set the book neatly on his bedside table. “Just let me relocate.” He reached out to grab his crutches, using one to push up off of the bed.

“We have your physical therapy appointment at two,” Leroy continued as he headed back into the kitchen, opening one of the white, melamine cabinets to pull out a frying pan. “Do you want to stop at the bookstore on the way home for the sequel? You finished the book?”

Blaine tugged out a chair, settling in it, using a second to prop his foot up. “That would be great. It was really good, and I can’t wait to find out what happens next. Plus, well, it’s not like I have a whole lot else to do right now.”

Leroy laughed, “Starting to go stir crazy here already? I suppose it’s not that big a change of pace from the hospital,” he said from the kitchen, busy starting the soup heating on the stove. “I hope you don’t mind canned soup. Hiram is much more the gourmet chef of the family.”

Blaine shook his head. “I’m grateful for a hot meal. Honestly, I’ll eat just about anything.”

“Oh, the teenage appetite. I remember it well. Got to keep you well fed to put on those inches, huh?” Leroy joked lightly, grabbing cheese out of the fridge.

“If I ever do.” Blaine sighed. “I’ve always been one of the shortest kids in my class, ever since Kindergarten. I’m not sure that’s going to change now.”

“Rachel’s always been the same way. A pint sized spitfire.” Leroy spoke affectionately about his daughter. “I don’t know where she got that lack of height from, genetically speaking, because her father and I are both of at least average height, but she’s never let it stop her.”

Blaine stared over at Leroy, blinking at the way he spoke of Rachel as if he and Hiram were both her biological parents. That wasn’t possible. Was it? He was pretty sure that human reproduction didn’t work that way. “My brother is much taller than me, too.”

“Oh? You have a brother?” Leroy turned away from his cooking to give Blaine his own surprised look at that.

“Cooper. He’s older. He lives out in L.A., I think. We don’t get the chance to talk a whole lot. The last I heard, he was hoping to become an actor, but mostly he just waits tables and books the occasional commercial.” Blaine sank back against the hard wood of the chair. “He was never in care. He’d just moved out to L.A. when…” he trailed off, assuming that the rest of the statement was obvious.

Leroy nodded, not forcing him to talk about it. “If you’d like, we can talk to Justin about getting the two of you back in contact.”

Blaine shrugged, “I’m honestly not sure I want to talk to him. It’s- He left me to- It’s complicated.”

Leroy changed the subject, much to Blaine’s relief. “When you’re a little more mobile, how would you feel about going clothes shopping? I don’t want to sound overly snoopy, but I couldn’t help but notice how worn some of what you have are.”

“You don’t have to do all this for me,” Blaine insisted. “You know that, right? I can pretty much take care of myself.”

Leroy gave the crutches a significant look before he turned back to the stove to flip over a sandwich he was cooking. “Just because you can take care of yourself doesn’t mean you should have to. Besides, shopping for clothes is entertaining. If nothing else, it’d be a good excuse. I have more than enough for me, so now I need to shop for someone else.”

Blaine eyed Leroy through narrowed eyes, trying to decide how much of that was utter bullshit. “I guess.”

“Hiram and I are excited to have you here. Honestly.” Leroy opened the fridge again to peer inside. “Milk or water with this?”

“Water’s fine.” Blaine thought about that for a moment. “I don’t think I’ve ever been anyone’s first foster kid before.” Maybe that was the difference here. “Usually I’m met the moment I walk in the door with a list of house rules and chores, especially since I’ve gotten older.”

Leroy shrugged as he grabbed two glasses out of the cupboard, filling them from a jug of filtered water. “Well, our house rules are pretty simple. We treat each other with respect. Rachel has a curfew, and I imagine you’ll have a similar one once it applies. Everyone pitches in with the chores, so those will come, as soon as you’re literally back on your feet. Honestly, we’ve never needed a whole list of rules.”

‘Then how does Rachel know what she can and can’t do?’ Blaine wondered to himself. The long, specific lists of rules he’d received in past homes might be annoying at times, but they also let him know things operated in each new house.

* * *

 

 

The week spent at the Berrys’ house had been almost as long and awkward as the one spent in the hospital. Blaine had never been so glad to be able to register at a new school as he had been when an appointment with the doctor had cleared him to go back starting the following Monday.

Leroy had needed to go to a meeting with one of his clients, so Blaine found himself at McKinley High for the first time on Friday with Hiram to get registered. Hiram had dropped Rachel off and gone for coffee to give the crowds time to die down. Blaine was thankful for that simple kindness as they made their way through the empty hallway and into the glass fronted office.

“How may I help you?”

Blaine looked over the gray haired woman who greeted them with a smile that seemed friendly enough. He leaned forward on his crutches, letting Hiram take the lead. What good was it to have foster parents at all if he couldn’t let them do this sort of thing for him?

“I’m Hiram Berry. I believe we spoke on the phone? I need to register my foster son Blaine here for school.” Hiram gave the woman a friendly enough smile, his folder of documents clutched under his arm.

The look the woman gave Blaine was penetrating, the smile fading to judgment as she looked from the curls he’d struggled to detangle that morning to his crutches. “If you’ll just take a seat and fill out this paperwork, we can get him in the system and get classes assigned.”

Hiram nodded, his smile fading at the look she gave Blaine.

Blaine cut off any possible comments with a shake of his head. “Just fill it out. Let’s get this over with,” he whispered.

It took both of them to get all the information in the correct places. Justin had gotten a copy of Blaine’s transcripts from eighth grade and Blaine’s course schedule so far his freshman year for them, which helped. Blaine knew how to fill out the paperwork for the free lunches the school would provide since he was a foster child. Hiram could add in all the pertinent housing details to show he was in zone.

With completed packet in hand, they made their way back up to the desk.

The same woman flipped through the information. “If you’ll give me just a minute, I’ll have a course schedule for you.”

As she headed over a computer at her desk, Hiram turned toward Blaine. “So, do we need to stop for any school supplies on the way home? Do you have what you’ll need?”

Blaine nodded, feeling a flush color his cheeks. “Nothing that was in my locker made it to Lima. You don’t mind?”

“Not at all. We’ll make a Target stop for notebooks and pens. Anything else you need?” Hiram asked honestly.

Blaine hesitated, frozen with uncertainty for a moment. What if he asked too much? “I-”

“Yes?” Hiram leaned his hip against the counter, raising his eyebrows. “I might say no, but I’m not going to be angry that you asked, Blaine.”

Blaine shrugged. “Maybe you won’t be today,” he muttered under his breath before he finally asked, “Would there be any way we could stop for a haircut? The crazy curls are easier to manage if they’re short.”

A smile spread across Hiram’s face at that. “Of course. I kind of like the curls, though. I always secretly wished Rachel had them. Could you imagine her with big ringlet curls?”

Blaine choked back a laugh, looking up as the secretary returned.

“Here’s your schedule, locker number, and combination.” She slid the papers across to Blaine.

He let the crutches push into his armpits, freeing his hands to pick up the schedule. His face must have given away his dismay at the list of classes she’d put him in, because Hiram raised his eyebrows. “What’s wrong, Blaine?” His foster father peered over his shoulder at the list of classes and room numbers, trying to figure out the problem.

“Nothing.” Blaine dropped the schedule back on the countertop.

“Clearly that’s not true,” Hiram pointed out. “Now, you can tell me, and I’ll try to solve it, or you can be stuck with whatever it is.”

Blaine stared down at the paper trying to decide how honest Hiram was being. Would he really stand up for Blaine? “I was in mostly honors classes as Bluffton High.”

Hiram snatched the paper back up, looking at the class list. “And she didn’t put you in any?” He raised his voice as he continued, so that it would carry back to the secretary’s desk. “Excuse me. There seems to be an error with this schedule?”

“What seems to be the problem?” The secretary said on her way back over to them.

“Blaine’s transcript from Bluffton should clearly show that he was in honors classes, but this schedule doesn’t have a single one.” Hiram made it sound as if it must simply have been an oversight.

“It can be hard to find space in those classes,” the secretary replied with a smile on her face that looked completely fake to Blaine’s eyes compared to the one she’d started with.

Hiram gave Blaine a quick look before he leaned in over the counter. “I understand. But I also know that Blaine is entitled to the best education he can get in this school. His transcripts clearly show that he is capable of honors level work and that he was enrolled in honors level classes. If he can’t be placed in similar classes, that I know are available here because my daughter is in them, then I’ll need to ask to speak to principal about whether McKinley High discriminates against foster students.” Hiram’s volume was level, but there was steel in his words.

In the face of this, the woman quickly backtracked. “Let me go take another look and see what I can do.”

“Thank you.” Hiram gave her a fake smile of his own. “We’ll wait for his new schedule.”

 

* * *

 

Sitting up in bed reading, with pillows propped up behind him had become the way that Blaine spent far too much of his time. Uninterrupted time to read was great, but after this much of it he was more than ready to get back to school and have something else to do.

He didn’t get up at the sound of the doorbell ringing. He knew that Leroy was back home and would take care of it. It was probably just one of his clients. He didn’t even try to listen in on the rumbling of voices, much for the same reason. It was only when there was a knock on his closed door that he realized it might not just be someone in need of an accountant.

“Come in!” he called out. Getting up to answer the door still felt like too much effort, even if using the crutches was becoming second nature.

He probably shouldn’t have been surprised when it was Justin who poked his head around the door. “Hi, Blaine. Mind if I come in and catch up on how things are going?”

Blaine pushed himself up a little straighter and shook his head. He waved a hand toward the chair of the desk that had been pulled out of storage for his room that week. “Not at all.”

Justin left the door partway open behind him and turned the chair around, sitting backward in it. “I like the haircut, Blaine. I also hear the doctor cleared you to go back to school next week. Excited?”

Blaine shrugged, hand reaching down to fiddle nervously with the edge of one of the thick velcro strips that held his knee brace on. Conversations with Justin were never just conversations, in his experience. “I’m not sure excited is the right word. Relieved maybe. I’m really getting tired of not being able to do much.”

“I can imagine. Nervous?” Justin raised his eyebrows questioningly.

“Yes. I don’t- My last set of high school experiences wasn’t so good. I can’t say that I’m not nervous that this one will be just as bad. But I know I need to go, so…” Blaine let his words trail off with a shrug. “If I keep my head down, it can’t be so bad.” He was pretty sure that Hiram and Leroy knew just why he’d been beaten up, but no one else here had to. It’d be safer that way.

Justin just nodded. “You have my number. Call me if you need anything. Tell someone. Me, the Berrys, a teacher. Someone. Alright?”

Blaine nodded in agreement, even as he was unsure he’d really follow through on that.

Justin seemed to take it as actual agreement though, because he changed the subject. “How are things going here?”

“Fine,” Blaine said a little too quickly.

“Uh huh. Can I trust you to give me an honest answer, Blaine? How’s life with the Berrys been?” Justin tapped his hands against the back of the chair in beat with the question.

Blaine just ignored the first part of that. Honestly, the answer was probably no, and he didn’t need Justin to have confirmation of that. Lying about being honest seemed just as bad. Ignoring it was definitely the best option. “Life with the Berrys is good. They’re really nice. They seem to care. They can be a little, uh, much sometimes, but it’s fine.” Blaine paused for a moment before he added a bit of honesty in hopes of making Justin happy. “It’s even nice sometimes. Like, this morning Hiram stood up for me when we were getting me registered for classes and they didn’t put me in the right ones. I’m not used to having someone in my corner.” Catching Justin’s look, Blaine quickly backtracked on that bit. “Except for you.”

“And that’s why we need more CASA volunteers,” Justin muttered under his breath. “You know I’m always in your corner, but I understand what you mean. It sounds like things are going pretty well then.”

“They are. I mean, for the first week at least.” Blaine let the velcro he’d been fiddling with go, pulling his hands back into his lap.

“Good. Now, I did have a second purpose in coming to talk to you. I know that you still have physical therapy a few times a week after school, but I found a local therapist I’d like you to start seeing as well.” He held up a hand to stop the reaction he could see starting on Blaine’s face. “And this is where you tell me you’re fine and you don’t need to right?”

Blaine crossed his arms across his chest and nodded. “Right.”

“Then you’ll only see him a few times, and he’ll tell us the same thing,” Justin pointed out. “But it’s not just the attack that I think you could use someone to talk things through about. There’s also the bullying. The transition to yet another new family and yet another new home. Humor me on this and at least talk to him once?”

“Fine,” Blaine grumbled. It wasn’t as if he had any choice.

* * *

 

Justin closed Blaine’s door behind him as he left the room, heading toward the dining room where he knew Leroy was waiting. He gave Leroy a smile as he pulled out a chair, settling into an extra seat at the modern table. “So, part two of this check in. How are things going from your end?”

“Okay, I think?” Leroy didn’t sound too sure of himself there. “Blaine’s been kind of, um, distant, but he seems to be happy enough. I guess that I understand why. It would be hard to be fourteen and suddenly dropped into the life of another family. Add to that that he’s been pretty much trapped in the house this week, and it makes sense. I just wish that he seemed more interested in getting to know all of us.”

Justin nodded, not all that surprised by that information. “Give him time. Keep giving him opportunities to be involved with your family, and I hope that you’ll start to see him open up to you. Blaine hasn’t had the easiest time of it, even before this happened. He spent far too long living in an abusive household before we found out and were able to step in. He’s had more placements than I would have liked, through no real fault of his own. He’s a good kid, but it’s natural for him to have some walls up.” Justin fished in his pocket for a card. “Which brings me to another point. I already talked to Blaine about this. He’s not exactly thrilled, but I convinced him to give it a try. I want him to start seeing a therapist again.” He slid the appointment card across the table toward Leroy. “His first appointment is Wednesday after school. Would you be able to take him? I can arrange transportation if not. I know that you’re ending up with a lot more doctor’s and therapist’s visits than you’d probably counted on.”

Leroy took the card, glancing down at it. “My schedule is pretty flexible this time of year. I should be able to make it work, but I’ll let you know if I can’t. You think this will help?”

“I don’t think it will hurt.” Justin tapped his fingers on the table thoughtfully. “The thing about therapy though is that it’s only really going to help if Blaine buys into it. Either way, I’m going to try to check in on Blaine fairly often. He’s already proven that I can’t trust him to tell me, or by extension you and Hiram, when there’s a problem. We’ll have to keep an eye on him to make sure he’s alright.”

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

“Can I see your schedule?” Rachel asked, hovering at the threshold of his bedroom.

Blaine had left his door open Sunday afternoon as he sat on the bed, focusing on taking pens and pencils out of packaging to pack his worn backpack with his new school supplies. He considered Rachel’s request for just a second before nodding. “Come on in. It’s on my desk.”

Rachel took a seat at the desk without asking, picking the paper up to look it over. “I can give you all sort of inside scoop on McKinley. I’ve had several of these teachers.”

Blaine nodded cautiously. He’d already experienced all the ways in which Rachel could talk about her experiences and her life. “Um, sure? Whatever you think I should know.”

“Oh, you have Mr. Schuester for Spanish. I’m not sure about his Spanish fluency, but he’s helping us restart the glee club. The New Directions are always looking for new members. You should really think about joining. I know that I haven’t heard you sing, since you’re still refusing to sing during the After Dinner Showcase, but you could always sway in the background. We’re still looking for people for that.” Rachel gave him a bright smile, as if she was offering him a wonderful prize there.

“I’ll, uh, I’ll keep that in mind. I don’t think I’ll have time for extracurriculars right now, not with all my physical therapy appointments and everything.” It was a good cover at least for long enough for him to scope out the lay of the land at McKinley. “It’d be hard for me to sing with you all, because I don’t know most of the songs that you sing. I’m happy enough to listen and start to learn them.”

“Oh! Well, we’ll have to make sure to repeat some of them frequently enough for you to pick them up. If you’d like to borrow my iPod again you can. A proper musical education is an important thing to have after all.” Rachel looked back to the paper. “You have Ms. Hagbert. She’s not too bad. Really old. And Mr. McCafferty is a great math teacher. I took most of these classes last year, so you know, my room is always open if you need any help with homework.” The gesture was nice enough, but Blaine could have done without the haughty tone that accompanied it.

“I’ve always done pretty well studying independently, but thank you.” Blaine ripped open a package of lined paper and then a set of dividers for his binder. “What are the kids like at McKinley?”

“Some of them are nice. Some of them are jerks. I bet it’s like that everywhere. I personally have found that many of them are jealous of my talent. I mean, it’s understandable, but it still doesn’t make things easy for me,” Rachel said seriously. “But, I mean, what kind of big sister would I be if I didn’t help to steer you in the right direction? I’ll make sure you know who is safe to hang out with.”

“Uh, thanks?” Blaine snapped the binder shut, sliding it into his backpack. “I’ve started at enough new schools. I’m sure I’ll figure it out.”

“I’ll at least help you find your way to your locker and your first class tomorrow. It’ll be so much fun having you at school! Remember what I said about glee.”

* * *

 

“Here’s your first classroom. Have fun!” Rachel waved her hand cheerfully in the air before she darted away, probably to make it to her own classroom on time before the tardy bell rang.

Blaine took a deep, steadying breath. No matter how many times he did this, the first day of school as a new kid always sucked. He hopped out of the way of two other students pushing past and then made his way over to the teacher, all too aware of the thud of his crutches against the ground. He forced a smile onto his face. “Hello! I’m Blaine Anderson, this is my first day.”

The teacher gave him a quick look over and a nod. “I got a note from the office that’d I’d have a new student.” He grabbed his seating chart. “You can sit back there next to Tina. We’re in the middle of the Odyssey. I’ll grab you a copy.”

That was apparently a dismissal as the teacher turned away without even introducing himself. Blaine navigated carefully between the narrow rows of desks, wishing for once that he was sitting in the front of the room instead of nearly in the back. He finally dropped down into his seat with a relieved sigh and stared at his crutches, not quite sure where to put them.

“Do you want me to take those?” the girl beside him, Tina he thought the teacher had called her, asked quietly. “I can put them against the wall.”

Blaine shot her a thankful look, passing them over. He twisted around trying to find a comfortable angle for his knee under the desk, realizing that starting back to school was going to be more of a pain than he’d expected. “Thank you,” he turned back to say, offering a hand out formally. “I’m Blaine.”

She took his hand with a smile. “Tina. Welcome to McKinley.”

Anything else she was going to say was cut off by the thud of a book landing on his desk. Blaine startled, pulling his arms tight around himself for a moment before he could breathe again. He looked down to find a copy of The Odyssey on his desk. The teacher was heading back toward the front of the classroom, already beginning to speak. “Alright class! Open to page 256, please.”

 

* * *

 

Most of the class went right over Blaine’s head. He could tell he was going to have some major catch up reading to do. When the bell rang at the end, he slid the book and his binder back into his backpack. None of the other students were carrying them to class, but Blaine hadn’t been able to figure out a better solution to carrying his books without any free hands.

“Here you go.”

He glanced up at the voice to see Tina offering out his crutches with a smile. He took them, using them to help push himself up out of the desk. “Thanks.”

“It’s no problem. What’s your next class?” She grabbed her books, tucking them against her.

Blaine called his schedule back up in his mind. “Biology.”

“The honors version?” She waited for his nod and then continued, “I’m headed there, too. Want me to show you the way?”

Blaine nodded, glad to have found at least one potentially friendly face in this sea of strangers.

* * *

 

The lunch room was as loud and crowded as Blaine had expected. He grabbed a tray, sliding it along the hot lunch line, reaching up to take a plate with a hamburger and tater tots. He grabbed a dish of green beans to add to it and the ever present lunch sized carton of milk, nudging the tray along until he got to the lunch lady at the end. It was only when he’d given her his name that he realized the problem. On crutches, there was no way he was getting his tray from the lunch line to a table. He hesitantly put weight onto his bum leg, holding back a hiss of pain. That was a no go then.

Blaine was just weighing his options, asking the lunch lady to help him verse just leaving the food and escaping, when a voice behind him, spoke up. “Want help carrying that?”

Blaine turned to find a round faced boy with gorgeous blue eyes and amazing hair watching him. “I- yes. That would be wonderful.”

The boy turned the tray so that he could balance it with his own, glancing around the room. “Where are you sitting?”

“I think-” Blaine stared around at the tables uncertainly. “Over there?” He nodded toward the closest empty table he could find.

 

* * *

 

Kurt waved off the thanks the curly haired boy was offering. “No problem. Have a nice day.” He tried not to sneak an extra glance as he made his way over to the table that the non-popular members of the Glee club had claimed as their own.

“Who was that?” Mercedes asked curiously as Kurt pulled out the seat next to hers.

Kurt shrugged. “No idea. He just seemed to need help. New kid, maybe?”

Tina nodded from across the table. “His name’s Blaine. He’s in a couple of my classes. Seems nice enough.”

“Nice enough on the eyes,” Mercedes joked, sneaking a look back. “Hey, where’s Rachel?”

“She said she wanted to rehearse something while the auditorium was empty.” Kurt snuck his own glance back over. Mercedes was right, even if he wasn’t ready to say so aloud. It was one thing to have finally come out to his friends in Glee. It was quite another to talk about cute boys in the cafeteria.

* * *

Blaine drummed his fingers nervously on the arm of the waiting room chair. This wasn’t exactly his first choice of ways to spend a Wednesday afternoon.

“You alright?” Leroy asked, looking up from the book he was reading. “Nervous?”

Blaine grabbed the armrest, forcing his fingers to still as he shrugged. “I’m fine,” he said, avoiding eye contact.

“Blaine Anderson?” Any further inquiry was silenced by that voice.

Blaine grabbed his crutches, pushing himself up onto his good leg as he found the source of it. Was this his therapist? He was certainly nothing like Blaine’s previous experiences. Blaine was used to middle aged white women. This man was definitely not that. He was tall and broad shouldered with dark skin and short, tight curls. He couldn’t have been more than thirty. The smile that spread across his face as he saw Blaine approach was genuine. “Blaine? I’m Nate Wallace. Why don’t we head back into my office?”

Blaine nodded silently and followed Nate down a short hallway. The room they went into was spacious. There was a desk stacked with files pushed up against a wall. A low, child sized table and play area dominated another corner. Nate nodded toward a seating cluster against the opposite wall. “Take a seat wherever you’d like.”

Blaine hesitated, eying the pair of comfortable looking arm chairs and the couch for a moment. With a quick glance to his knee, he chose the couch. After a long day of sitting in cramped, achey desks, he’d rather be able to prop it up and sit comfortably. “Not to be stereotypical, but do you mind if I sit across the couch?” Blaine settled on the edge of it, nodding down to his knee. “It’s easier with this.”

“Go for it.” Nate chose one of the armchairs, sitting where he’d be facing Blaine. “If it’d make you more comfortable, feel free to kick off your shoes, too.”

Blaine nodded, feeling self conscious as he did so, assuming the risk of stinky feet was less in the shoes he was wearing than the risk of getting the couch all dirty from his shoes. He settled back against the armrest, then leaned down to slide his crutches onto the floor.

Nate waited a moment longer, until it became clear that Blaine wasn’t going to be picking up the thread of conversation. “Alright. So, welcome. First, let’s just get a few things out of the way. Number one, please call me Nate. I am far too young to be called Mr. Wallace.” He seemed to be waiting for Blaine to laugh there, so Blaine forced himself to at least crack a smile. “Number two, what you tell me here will stay between us. I may sometimes give your foster parents or your social worker big picture things, like ideas to help you, but I won’t be sharing with them the specifics of what you say to me. Alright?” Blaine nodded, so he continued. “Now, today is about getting to know you. First off, what brings you here? What do you want to get out of this?”

Blaine took a second to consider that question and possible answer choices before he decided to just go with the honest one. “My social worker, Justin, made the appointment. Things have been kind of, um, tough lately, but I’m dealing with it.”

Nate just nodded, letting the defensiveness in Blaine’s tone slide right off of him. “So, what would you rather be doing with this afternoon? If you’d gotten to choose?”

“My homework,” Blaine answered quickly. He flushed, realizing as soon as it came out of his mouth what a nerd that made him sound like. “I just started at a new school this week, and I feel like I’m behind in a lot of my classes. I was out of school for two weeks and every school is at a little bit different of a spot or reading a different book. You know?”

“So school is definitely a priority with you then, huh?” Nate asked, crossing his legs as he settled back into his chair.

“It is. How else am I going to succeed? I have to do well, or I’ll, well, there aren’t a lot of great options for my future. I need good grades so that I can get scholarships, get to college, and get out of this mess.” Blaine sat up straighter on the couch, reaching down to fiddle with the edge of the leg brace he had on over a pair of dark jeans. “They didn’t even want to put me in honors classes. Hiram had to make them. So now I feel like I have to do especially well.”

“To prove that you belong?” Nate asked.

Blaine nodded. “Exactly. I know that I’m only a freshman, but all of my high school grades matter. I’m not going to let the idiots who did this,” Blaine gestured down his leg, “ruin a semester’s grades.”

“Do you want to talk about what happened there?” Nate pushed gently. “If not today, sometime soon?”

“There’s not much to talk about,” Blaine insisted. “I don’t really remember it. Sometimes I get, well, flashes, but I’m not even sure how much of those are true memories versus my mind trying to fill in what happened from what I’ve heard. The last thing I remember, I was at a dance. I don’t even remember deciding to leave. Then I was in the hospital with my leg all messed up and the worst headache of my life.” Blaine shut his eyes for a moment, forcing that last memory back before it could overwhelm him. “So I don’t really know what there’s to do, but push through it. The jerks who did it are in juvy, and I’m in physical therapy and a brand new foster home. It sucks, but that’s life.”

* * *

 

 

Blaine shut his locker and paused for a second, leaning his cheek against the cool metal. He’d gotten through one more day of navigating the lunchroom, or really, alternatives there of. He’d almost gotten through a whole week of classes. It was Friday afternoon. He could do this.

He pushed off of his locker, turning to face the stream of students just in time to feel a stinging rush of freezingness slap into his face.

“Welcome to McKinley High, new kid.” The malice in the voice and the angry laughter that trailed down the hallway took him from this school building to a different one. Blaine wasn’t even aware he’d slid down to the floor as he pulled his arms close around him, waiting for blows that never came. Instead, it was a memory that washed over him, one he didn’t even realize he had. He could feel the cold cement below him, the pain radiating and then receding to a wash of nothingness as his head cracked sickeningly against the ground. When he pulled back to the surface, breathing heavily, he was almost surprised that his head wasn’t bleeding. It had felt real, in the moment. Coming back to the reality of the McKinley hallway was hard, like he was pushing through a pool of jello to get his brain working again.

* * *

 

One good thing about the fact that all the jocks in the school wore bright red letterman jackets was that it made them easy to spot coming down the hallway. When he spotted a pack of them with a large cup of slushie in hand, Kurt turned to stare into his open locker, hoping not to be noticed. Since several of the top football players had joined the New Directions, Kurt’s trips into the dumpster had gotten more and more infrequent. After two full weeks without getting thrown in once, he’d decided that today was a safe day to wear the new sweater he’d saved up for. The last thing he wanted was to get it ruined by red dye #6.

Kurt let out the breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding when they passed him by. But as he heard their words, he mentally cursed. They wouldn’t throw a slushie at that new freshman on crutches would they? Surely that was too low a blow.

Or maybe not. Kurt turned to look just in time to see the boy slide to the ground, his face and shirt covered in bright blue slush. He froze. This was not his responsibility. He’d barely ever said two words to this new kid. He couldn’t even remember the name Tina had given them. Someone else would step in. He grabbed the books for his next class out of his locker and slammed it shut. He turned to walk away, but somehow he couldn’t. The new boy was still sitting there breathing far too fast with an expression on his face that Kurt found he could relate to somehow.

Oh, what the hell. He had study hall next anyway. Kurt crouched down next to the boy, wincing as the new kid pulled away from him. “Relax. I’m not here to hurt you.” He grabbed the kid’s crutches, offering them to him. “Come on. Let’s go get you cleaned up before it stains and you look like a smurf.”

He took the crutches from Kurt, using them to help himself push up off the floor. He let them press down into his armpits, sagging on them to rub at his eyes. “What the hell is this?”

“Slushie. The jocks think it’s fine entertainment to throw them at those of us lower on the social pecking order.” Kurt glanced down the hallway, emptying quickly at the sound of the bell ringing. “This way.” Kurt steered them to a nearby Boy’s Bathroom, holding the door open for Blaine.

“Slushies? Slushies hurt this much in your eyes?” Blaine asked, trying to blink it out.

“I think it’s all the dye. Or whatever they use to flavor them.” Kurt moved to grab a handful of paper towels from the dispenser, wetting them at the sink before he pressed them into Blaine’s hands. “Here. Get it off your face.” He gave the boy a longer look, taking in the stained polo shirt with a soft hmm. “I’m Kurt, by the way.”

“Blaine.” He took the wet paper towels, using them to swipe ice from off his forehead and around his eyes. With his eyes clearer, he stared at Kurt for a moment. “You helped me at lunch?”

“I don’t usually make a habit of this.” Kurt gave him another look over. “Do you have a change of clothes with you?” At Blaine’s shake of his head, Kurt considered his options. He couldn’t send Blaine off to his next class in a shirt covered in slushie. It would only bring on more of this. “Stay right here. I’ll be back with something.”

* * *

 

As the door to the bathroom closed behind Kurt, Blaine sank down, letting his crutches support his weight. He stared into the bathroom mirror, trying to suppress the tears that were threatening to start making themselves known. He was not going to cry here, not when Kurt could be back at any time or another student could get a pass and walk in. He leaned forward and turned the sink on, splashing water in his face to clean off the blue ice remaining.

How was he supposed to deal with this? He was sure that some teacher must have seen something, but no one had stepped in. Justin had made him promise that he’d tell him if things were bad here, but Kurt made it sound like this happened to everyone. Well, everyone who wasn’t popular. Maybe there was nothing to tell. And if he did, what would happen? Would Justin move him to another placement? The Berrys might be a little too much sometimes, but so far it was the best place Blaine had ever lived. He could deal with this. He’d dealt with worse. It wasn’t like anyone had hit him. They hadn’t even laid a hand on him. High school just wasn’t easy, but he’d make it through. And he’d make it through better with foster parents who seemed to actually give a damn, Blaine decided just as the door pushed open again.

Blaine sucked in a breath, fear coursing through him at the thought that it could be that group of jocks. They could be back to finish what they’d started.

It wasn’t. It was Kurt, with a bright red t-shirt in his hands.

“This was the best I could do. It’s a P.E. shirt, but I promise that it’s clean. I don’t believe in wearing them until they’d stand up on their own the way Puck does.” Kurt offered, holding the shirt out.

Blaine took it, stripping off his own polo to pull it over his head unselfconsciously. He’d shared rooms too often over the years to be too worried about changing in front of other boys. He missed the blush that colored Kurt’s cheeks as he turned to toss his polo down into the sink, starting water over it with a wince. “This is going to be so stained, isn’t it?” Blaine met Kurt’s eyes through the mirror. “Thank you. I’m not sure I said that yet.”

“It’s no big deal. I know what this is like all too well.” Kurt broke the eye contact to watch blue tinted water swirl away from the shirt. “Probably. If your mom has a good pretreater, you might be able to get the worst of it out.”

“This was a new shirt.” Blaine rubbed the heel of his hand up over a still stinging eye. “Oh God. They’re going to think that I don’t take care of my belongings.” The Berrys had been so nice, taking him shopping for a few new outfits, letting him have some say in the style. And now he’d ruined it the first week. If he explained, they’d tell Justin. He might get moved. If he didn’t, they’d think he was careless, and he’d start losing the trust they were placing in him. It was a no win situation.

Blaine was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t even really notice Kurt studying him until the other boy spoke up again. “Why don’t I take it home? I’ve got some tricks up my sleeves, and I do all my own laundry. It won’t be hard to sneak it in.”

Blaine let out a relieved breath. “You’d do that? Thank you so much. You are my savior today.”

Kurt let out a high pitched laugh, a blush creeping up his cheeks again. “Just someone who thinks that this is a horrible way to welcome a new student.”

“I still appreciate it.” Blaine turned his gaze back to the mirror, looking for any more signs of blue on his face. Blaine looked back away from the mirror, wrinkling his nose. “Oh man. I’m going to be tardy to class my first week here.”

Kurt stepped forward to wring the polo shirt out into the sink, sending a wash of faintly blue water circling into the drain. “Go to the nurse instead. Tell her that, uh, you have a headache or something. She never asks for a pass, but she’ll write you one back to class if you need it.”

“That’s good to know. I could ask for ice for my knee.” Blaine paused for a moment to think. “I made you late to class, too didn’t I?”

“Those Neanderthals made us late to class, not you. But it’s alright. I just have study hall, and I’m pretty sure this is Mr. Schue’s prep. I can go ask him a question about glee, and he’ll write me a pass back without too many questions asked,” Kurt said.

“You have it all figured out.” Blaine moved toward the door looking back. “Thanks. I know I’d already said it, but starting at a new school sucks. I never take kindness for granted.”

“I’ve had to,” Kurt muttered, giving the shirt a last squeeze. “I don’t know if people would always call me kind, but when idiots are around, the rest of us have to stick together.”

* * *

 

 

Living in a Jewish home was a new experience for Blaine. He’d been dragged along to a variety of churches over the last few years, but this was the first time he’d sat down on Friday evening with a family to light a candle for Shabbat. Blaine wasn’t sure if they’d skipped it the week before, but tonight all four of them were gathered around the kitchen table.

Blaine sat awkwardly, the shirt Kurt had loaned him at school already traded for a worn t-shirt he’d almost outgrown. He had no idea what his role in this was supposed to be. He supposed that he was nominally Christian, sitting on the borderline of agnosticism. His parents had been the Christmas and Easter type, and the way their faith had been expressed by his last foster family had left much to be desired. He had no idea how much he was going to be asked to believe something he didn’t.

“This is a simple ceremony, Blaine,” Leroy said, picking up quickly on how out of place Blaine was feeling. “We’re going to light two candles and say some prayers. They’re in Hebrew, but we wouldn’t expect you to participate anyway.”

“We do know that you’re not Jewish,” Hiram said, striking a match to light the candles.

Blaine sat quietly as the other three joined together in prayer. The language was unfamiliar, and Blaine let his thoughts drift. If all that was asked of him was to sit quietly and be respectful, he could do that in a heartbeat. It ended with Hiram finishing a prayer over his glass of wine.

The words drifted off into a long moment of silence before Rachel stood. “I’ll bring in dinner.”

Dinner turned out to be take out from the one decent Chinese place in Lima. Rachel spread out the iconic little white boxes across the center of the kitchen table before retaking her seat. “Sometimes we have more traditionally Jewish foods like brisket or challah, well, I don’t have brisket. Traditionally, there should always be challah, which is a special bread, but we don’t don’t have it every week.” Rachel seemed to relish taking on the role of explaining things. “If we were more orthodox, we’d have to keep from doing any kind of work until sunset tomorrow, but we’re Reform.”

Blaine just nodded, waiting for Leroy or Hiram to start digging into the food before he did the same. It seemed like just letting Rachel talk was the easiest course of action sometimes.

Hiram finished filling his plate before he continued the lesson, picking up where Rachel left of. “Shabbat is the sabbath. We celebrate from sunset on Friday to sunset on Saturday. Some weeks we go to Temple on Friday evening or Saturday morning. Even when we don’t, we think of this as a day of rest. We don’t follow all the same restrictions that Orthodox Jews do, but we try to spend the time together whether at Temple or doing something as a family. We like to make it our time to be together without worrying about all the stresses of the rest of our lives.”

“That sounds nice.” Blaine reached for a container of orange chicken. “I like the idea of setting aside time to relax from everything that happens in the rest of the week.”

* * *

 

Hiram pushed the covers back, climbing into bed beside his husband with a shake of his head. “Where did this week go?”

“You’re not looking forward to the weekend?” Leroy asked, sliding a bookmark in to mark his spot. He turned onto his side to face Hiram. “It was busy, huh?”

“I don’t know how adding one more child to our family, one who seems to want to spend all of his time hiding in his room at that, could make everything seem so much more exhausting.” Hiram sighed, leaning back into the soft pillow, crossing his arms on top of the comforter.

“Because we worry. And double the children means double the worry. Or more.” Leroy let out a soft sigh of his own. “For all the time I’ve spent with Blaine this week and last taking him to appointments and here at home, I still feel like I have no idea who he is.”

“Exactly. I’m sure Justin would say that we need to just give him time, but what if he never wants to be part of this family?” Hiram worried. “What if it’s always like we have a recluse who only leaves his room for meals and school?”

“And what if he just does need time to adjust?” Leroy asked in return. “Think back to when you were younger. What would you have done at fourteen if you suddenly had to move in with a different family?”

“I would have put on quite the show until they had no choice but to love me,” Hiram responded.

Leroy laughed. “You probably would have. Blaine, on the other hand, seems too shy for that. Or maybe too bounced around. We aren’t his first foster home. What if he thinks he’ll be moving soon? Then why would it be worth the time to get to know us?”

“Because I want to love him,” Hiram said wistfully. “I want him to be the kid we adopt, but I can’t quite picture it. I can’t imagine just sending him off to go live somewhere else, but I can’t see him as part of our family, either.”

“Then maybe we need to be the ones to make the effort. We don’t have any plans for tomorrow, right? Then we should make it a family outing. Go together to something that won’t be physically taxing and then get dinner. If we bring him with us out of the house, he’ll have to interact more, right?”

* * *

 

A quick bit of Internet research had found just what they needed. There was a community theater production of Grease happening that weekend. Tickets to the matinee were easy enough to get at the door.

As the final notes of Look at Me, I’m Sandra Dee faded through the air of the small theater, Leroy nudged his shoulder into Hiram’s arm. As soon as he had his husband’s attention, he nodded toward Blaine, sandwiched between Leroy and Rachel.

A smile spread across Hiram’s face as he saw his foster son. Blaine was leaning forward in his seat, eyes trained on the stage with rapt attention and a soft smile on his face. He looked as happy and relaxed as Hiram had ever seen him. He was so glad they’d managed to find this show last minute.

* * *

 

“Welcome to Breadstix,” Hiram said with a sweep of his hand as they were settled at a table. He reached out to take Blaine’s crutches without asking, leaning them against the wall between them, within Blaine’s reach. “I’m not going to say that it’s the finest restaurant ever, but it might just be one of Lima’s finest.”

“At least they have vegan choices,” Rachel pointed out, unwrapping the napkin from around her silverware to settle it into her lap. “Not everywhere in Ohio is that refined.”

“I’ve actually been here, uh, once or twice before,” Blaine said, fiddling with the edge of his menu. “I lived on the other side of Lima, um, three families ago. I went to seventh grade at Lima East for about six months.”

“They feed into Coolidge for high school, don’t they?” Rachel asked.

Blaine nodded. “I think so. I haven’t seen people from there in my classes.”

“That’s interesting,” Leroy said. “You haven’t really mentioned anything about the other homes you’ve lived in.”

Blaine shrugged, opening his menu so he wouldn’t be expected to make eye contact. “There’s not a whole lot to say about most of them. They were alright or they weren’t. Either way, I lived there for awhile and then one day Justin would come pick me up. I’d pack and that would be that. In Lima, I lived with the Morgans. They were nice, but they were both a lot older. My foster mother had a stroke, and they didn’t have the ability to take care of foster kids anymore.”

Leroy rested a hand on Rachel’s leg when he spotted the look on her face, the one that meant she was going to start prodding at the comment, whether Blaine wanted to discuss it more or not.

Hiram must have caught it as well, because he changed the subject. “So, that was a great production wasn’t it? I think I’m going to have Summer Lovin’ stuck in my head all night.”

“It was!” It didn’t take a lot to distract Rachel, not when musicals were the topic at least. “I wasn’t that impressed by their Kenickie, though.”

“But the woman who played Rizzo was amazing,” Leroy added. “I don’t know what she’s doing on a stage in Ohio. With that level of talent, she should be performing for a more discerning market.”

“I thought the guy who played Danny was pretty good, too,” Blaine piped in.

“He was.” Hiram gave Blaine a big smile, just for contributing to the conversation. “So Rachel, what role would you want if you auditioned for Grease?”

“Well, Finn and I have done a little duetting to You’re the One that I Want in glee, and I think I sounded pretty wonderful as Sandra Dee. I don’t know that I’m physically right for the role, but there are always wigs,” Rachel answered.

“Or hair dye,” Blaine added quietly, eyes down on the menu.

“Or that. Well, if we did at McKinley, it might be too awkward, because Blaine, you would be a great Danny Zuko.” Rachel shook her head. “But we’re too close to siblings for that to work. Well, I guess it would be alright. Because Finn would probably get Danny anyway. Then you’d have to be one of the Thunderbirds.”

Blaine shrugged, smiling self-consciously. “I don’t think I’d want to be Danny. Or a Thunderbird. I like theater. I’ll admit that, but being on stage? I’m not sure I want to be up there with everyone staring at me.”

“I thought Justin mentioned something to us about going to see you in a middle school show?” Leroy asked, confused.

“Well, that was before…” Blaine gave the waitress who walked up a grateful look. Saved by the need to order.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

“So, Blaine. What’s your favorite song?” It had started off as such a simple question, even if it was difficult to narrow it down to just one. Somehow, Blaine hadn’t even realized the ulterior motives Rachel had until he was standing next to the piano, unable to bow out because he didn’t know this one. Not when it was on the list of songs they’d discussed.

Blaine tried to channel his inner middle schooler. The one that had loved to perform. That hadn’t minded people looking at him. The one that hadn’t learned how painful sticking out could be.

He’d counted on neither Hiram nor Leroy knowing how to play anything that wasn’t classic Broadway, but he’d clearly underestimated Rachel. Somewhere in the last hour she’d found the sheet music to Since U Been Gone, and it turned out that Hiram was excellent at sight reading.

“Do you want me to sing with you?” Rachel offered, as if that would be a great sacrifice. “I mean, I’d love to sit here on the couch and be your audience, but I can definitely be a supportive sibling and join in.”

Blaine hesitated for a moment, a comment on how she wasn’t really his sibling on the tip of his tongue. He pushed it down, nodding instead. If Rachel sang with him, that was someone to draw focus and one less person to be watching. “That’d be great, Rachel.”

Rachel swooped in to stand beside him, facing their audience of one, Leroy. “Alright, Dad! We’re ready.”

Blaine tried to relax as the music started. He could do this, even if Rachel had chosen a big song by a strong singer.

At first, he let Rachel take the lead, but as the song continued, he let himself open up to it. He allowed himself really sing and enjoy the performance. Somewhere in his fear, he’d forgotten just how much fun this could be. As the final notes trailed away, he laughed, taking a bow after Rachel’s curtsy.

“You have a wonderful voice, Blaine,” Hiram said, standing up from behind the piano. “We’ll have to concoct crazy plans to get you to sing more often.”

Blaine laughed, bowing his head with a blush to avoid eye contact.

“You really do. I think I’m going to have to intensify my efforts to get you to join Glee,” Rachel insisted.

Blaine shook his head, making his way over to sink down onto the couch. “That’s not for me. Singing here? Sure. But in a club? Performing in front of people just isn’t for me.” And they didn’t need to know that it had been. A year ago he would have jumped at that opportunity. “Besides, don’t you meet after school a lot of the time? I have too many appointments, and I can’t dance on crutches.”

“We’d work something out. Just think about it?”

 

* * *

 

“So I understand you got something new at the doctor’s earlier?”

Blaine nodded, giving Jill, his physical therapist, a smile. He gestured down at his knee. “A brand new brace. This one bends! He said that it’s healing well.”

“Great!” Jill gave Leroy a wave as she led Blaine out of the waiting area. “That means we’re ready to take the next step. You’ve been doing well putting weight on with the crutches. Are you ready to start weaning off of them?”

“Oh God yes,” Blaine answered quickly. “I am very much looking forward to that. I could ditch my backpack in my locker at school and just carry my books. Carry a lunch tray. All sorts of exciting things.”

Jill laughed. “All the little things people take for granted, huh? We’ll get you there, hopefully by the end of next week. We’ll start with shorter distances and build up to the whole school day. Now first, let me see that new brace. Let’s double check and make sure it’s properly fitted so that it doesn’t rub.”

* * *

 

It hadn’t taken Blaine very many days to learn to avoid the cafeteria at McKinley. Blaine knew that with many of his previous families bringing his own lunch wouldn’t have been an option, not when school lunch was free. But all he’d had to do was admit to Leroy that it was hard to carry a lunch tray with crutches, and the next thing he knew, Leroy had been opening cupboards and showing Blaine what he was allowed to bring.

Most days Blaine stuck with a sandwich that he could wolf down in the stairwell before finding somewhere to hide for the rest of lunchtime. Today he’d chosen the library for that.

He was getting closer to being caught up in all his classes, but extra time to work would never hurt. He chose an empty table in the back and spread out his Honors Geometry homework over it, picking right up where he’d left off in class that morning.

Blaine was just flipping back through the book to try to find the name for the theorem he needed to finish a proof when a soft voice made him freeze.

“Do you mind if I join you?” Blaine looked up to see Kurt looking down on him, textbook in hand.

Blaine nodded to the chair across from him. “Sure.” He let his math book fall open to the page he’d landed on. “You didn’t want to eat lunch with your friends today?”

“I have a history test this afternoon. I thought one more chance to look over my notes might be helpful. All those dates and names.” Kurt shook his head ruefully. “Do you spend lunch here often?”

“Sometimes.” Blaine shrugged, unsure what the right answer to that might be. “It’s easier, and there’s always schoolwork to get done or a book to read.”

“You’d be welcome to come join us, you know,” Kurt offered with a tentative smile. “Whether we convince you to join the glee club or not.”

Blaine gulped and shook his head. “I wouldn’t want to impose.” That sounded like a good excuse, certainly better than, avoiding his foster sister at school as much as possible.

* * *

 

“So, are you ready for a little brother/sister bonding time?” Rachel asked, peeking her head around the half open door of Blaine’s room.

Blaine let out a breath, counting mentally to ten. He could let this annoyance wash over him. He’d slept horribly the night before, caught up in a round of fists and pain that turned memories into nightmares. One of the jocks had decided that it was funny to kick one of his crutches out from under him in the hallway in between classes. The last thing he had patience for was this.

“I can’t tonight, Rachel. I have a Geometry test tomorrow, and I need to make sure I have all these theorems memorized.” That was a safe answer at least, Blaine decided. Much better than telling her that he was too tired to deal with her or that he didn’t have the patience to be diplomatic tonight.

“You can’t even spare the time for a movie with your sister? I know our dads have a bunch of cult classics on DVD that you simply must be familiar with if you’re going to be gay,” Rachel insisted flipping her hair behind her back.

Blaine let out a slow breath, but it didn’t keep the words from tumbling out of his mouth. “I can’t. Because keeping my grades up is more important than bonding with someone who isn’t even my sister.” Blaine knew that this was a bad idea, but as soon as the words started pouring out he couldn’t seem to staunch the flow. “Because you’re not. You aren’t my sister. They aren’t my dads. This is just some place that I’m living for now. In a few months or a year, I’ll be somewhere else, and you’ll have a new foster sibling. That’s how this works. So let’s just stop pretending that it isn’t.”

Rachel tried to cut in, but Blaine didn’t even give her a word edgewise. He could feel his voice rising in volume, but it felt so good to stop holding it back that Blaine found he didn’t even care, not in the moment at least. “So yes, my studying is more important. Not all of us have parents to pay their way through college. If I want to get out of this mess my life has become, I’m the only one who’s going to be able to do it. Which starts with studying for my damn math test, because none of this,” he gestured around the bedroom angrily, “is permanent. Why should we pretend that it is? It will only make it harder in a few months when it all goes away. So, no, I don’t have the luxury of playing pretend family with you or dreaming about far fetched futures in New York where I could be and do and know about all the things you think are appropriate for a gay man. I need to focus on the future I can actually create. Something I can make that no one will be able to take away from me.”

As the last of the words stopped pouring out of his mouth, Rachel stood there open mouthed for a moment before her jaw snapped shut. She spun on her heel and stormed out of the room. Blaine could hear the door next door slam hard enough to rattle the pens on his desk.

Blaine slumped back against the pillow he’d propped between himself and the wall. As the anger started to dissipate, panic started to take its place. How much trouble had he just gotten himself in? Hiram and Leroy doted on Rachel. Why the hell had he let himself let go like that to her of all people?

He had several minutes to stew over it, enough time even to grab his math notes out and fail to distract himself from his anxiety with them, before there was a knock on the frame of his door.

“Care for some tea? It’s herbal. Peppermint seems right for soothing without keeping you up half the night,” Hiram offered, two mugs in hand.

Blaine hesitated for a moment before he nodded with what he was sure must be a guilty look on his face. “You know?”

“We could hear you from the living room.” Hiram passed over one of the mugs before he pulled out Blaine’s desk chair to take a seat. “Are you alright?”

“Shouldn’t you be asking Rachel that?” Blaine gave the tea a long look before taking a short sip. It was easier than making eye contact. “Are you mad at me?”

“Leroy got Rachel duty. We made enough tea for everyone,” Hiram answered. “And mad? No. A little disappointed maybe. But that’s warring with being more than a bit impressed that you actually spoke your mind.”

“You’re not going to call Justin?” Blaine couldn’t hold the question back. His anxiety in the moment wouldn’t let him.

“Because you were a little abrupt with Rachel and let her know how you really felt? No. I’m considering a jaunty little tune that might have made the message go over better, though.” Hiram cracked a smile over his tea. “Do you think we’d give up on you that easily?”

Blaine shrugged. “I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “I just - You all fit here so well together. I’m not part of that. Why wouldn’t you?”

“Because you’re someone worth investing in.” Hiram crossed his legs, sitting properly in the chair. “And you know that we’d be happy to be a part of that. We’d love for you to be a part of our family. Do you know why Leroy and I chose to become foster parents?”

Blaine tried to keep the dubious look off of his face as he shook his head. “I hadn’t really thought about why someone would,” Blaine admitted.

Hiram took a sip of his tea, offering a soft smile. “Well, we’ve enjoyed raising Rachel so much that we wanted to have the chance to bring other children into our lives. And you know, I can’t exactly just go knock Leroy up.” Hiram waited for Blaine to stop sputtering out a laugh before he continued. “We want you to feel welcome here. To feel comfortable. I’d love it if you let yourself see this as more than just a stop over. And yes, that means sometimes you’re going to say the wrong thing or hurt feelings. We’ve all done that.”

Blaine covered his fading blush with a sip from his own mug. “I should apologize to Rachel.”

“That’s not a bad idea.” Hiram stood, sliding the chair back into the desk. “And next time, when she’s doing or saying something that bothers you, talk about it before it explodes.”

* * *

 

 

Leroy knocked at Rachel’s door even as he pushed it open. He stepped into the sunny, yellow space carrying a tray with two mugs of tea. “Tea time?”

Rachel sniffled, pulling her face out of the pillow she’d been crying into since she’d thrown herself down on the bed. She grabbed a tissue blindly from her bedside table and used it to wipe her eyes as she nodded.

Leroy came to sit on the edge of her bed, sliding the tray beside the tissue box. “Had a good cry? It always makes me feel better.”

Rachel sat up, leaning in against her father’s side. “Why doesn’t he like me?”

Leroy wrapped an arm around Rachel, stroking his hand down her arm comfortingly. “How do you know he doesn’t like you?”

“He thinks I don’t notice, but I know he avoids me at school. He said he doesn’t want to be my brother. But I thought that’s why we were doing this?” Rachel grabbed for another tissue, pausing to blow her nose noisily into it. “Aren’t you going to adopt him? Aren’t we going to be family?”

“It’s not that easy.” Leroy sighed. “For one thing, we talked about this before Blaine came home. Justin asked us to be just a foster family for Blaine. Adoption isn’t something we’re ready to talk about yet. Remember?” Leroy waited for Rachel’s nod. “And sometimes you may need to stop and think about things from Blaine’s perspective, sweetie. He is your first foster sibling, but you aren’t his. Blaine’s not a little kid, Rachel. He’s only a year younger than you, and he has been through a lot in his life. It may take him time to learn to trust any of us.”

“It’s been almost three weeks,” Rachel sniffed.

“Three weeks. Compared to fourteen years of living other places,” Leroy pointed out. He gave Rachel’s hair a stroke before he pulled away to reach for the tray he’d brought in. “Have some tea. I know it relaxes you.”

Rachel reached out for one of the mugs, blowing over the surface of the hot liquid before she gave her father a long look. “I know that you’ve said that Blaine’s stay here isn’t permanent, and Blaine just said the same thing, but what I don’t understand is why not? Why can’t you adopt him? He sang with us. Doesn’t that make him family?”

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Blaine tied a knot in the last of the pile of balloons he’d been handed and batted it off toward the others on the floor in front of the couch. He took advantage of the momentary peace before he was assigned another task to look around the basement. Today was the first time he’d actually been down here, and he supposed that he shouldn’t have been surprised that Rachel hadn’t been lying about the basement having it’s own stage. The room had transformed around it over the course of the day from a space as postmodern as the upstairs living area to one much more vibrant. It was apparent that Rachel’s personality wasn’t the only thing that was going to make the party colorful.

Rachel’s sixteenth birthday had turned into a multiday event. There’d been a family dinner, presents, and cake on her actual birthday. Now, they were spending the next Saturday celebrating it as well, with a bunch of the kids from the glee club expected soon.

“Oh good! You finished the balloons. Can you come help me get this all laid out?” Leroy asked, coming down the stairs with his arms full of bags of snacks and a pile of empty bowls.

“Do I need to put the balloons anywhere in particular?” Blaine asked, still appreciative of being able to stand up off of the couch without needing to grab for crutches.

“Nah. Rachel seemed to think they should be at everyone’s feet.” Leroy shrugged with a smile. “It adds to the look, or so I’m told. Thank you for your help today, by the way. I hope you don’t feel like we’re taking advantage of you for this.”

Blaine shook his head, grabbing a bag of Cheetos to pour into one of the bowls. “It’s fine. I don’t do that many chores here, so…” Blaine shrugged, letting that finish his sentence for him.

“We’ll probably be adding a few more on now that you’re up and around more, but honestly, most of what we’d ask you to do, you seem to do anyway. Your room is always neat, for one.” Leroy grabbed a bowl of his own from the pile. “You’re planning to stay for the party, right?”

“At least some of it. Rachel would be upset if I didn’t,” Blaine replied with a grimace. “I still kind of feel bad for the other night. I don’t want to hurt her feelings again. I don’t know if I’ll know anyone coming, though.”

“She’s only expecting seven or eight people, and half of them are staying the night. You, though, are more than welcome to sleep in your own bed. Don’t feel bad about that at all.” Leroy glanced over at the clock. “Oh! We’d better get this finished up. They’re going to start arriving any minute now.”

* * *

 

“Blaine, can you get the door?” Hiram called from the kitchen. “My hands are full.”

“Sure!” Blaine gave one last tug to the polo shirt he had just changed into as he made his way over to the front door. It had been left unlocked, so he just pulled it open, freezing when he saw who was there.

Kurt froze as well on the other side of the door, hand raised to knock again. “Blaine? I might have the wrong address.”

Blaine stopped him as Kurt moved to fumble through the small duffel he was carrying to find his invitation. “Are you here for Rachel’s birthday party? This is, um, the right spot for that.”

“I am.” Kurt hesitated for a moment as he stepped into the foyer. “I didn’t even realize that you knew Rachel.”

Blaine could feel the flush heating his cheeks. This was something that had completely slipped his mind. He hadn’t made the connection that some of Rachel’s glee club friends might be kids he knew, kids who didn’t know he was a foster kid. He bit his lip considering his options before he decided on the truth. “The Berrys are my foster family. I live here at the moment.”

“Oh. I- I didn’t know that…” Kurt smiled self consciously. “There’s not a nice way to phrase that is there?”

“Not really. But it’s alright. Really. It’s a fact of my life, right? I don’t mind that you know, but I don’t advertise it. There are some people at school that would just use it as one more piece of ammunition against me,” Blaine explained.

“You don’t have to worry about me spreading it around,” Kurt promised. “I understand that all too well, and I’d say that at least 90 percent of the people Rachel blackmailed into coming today are in the same position.” Kurt shook his head with a rueful smile. “Rachel has been going on and on lately about having a new brother, but she made it sound like you were a little kid. Her little brother.”

Blaine’s head dropped with a sigh. “Why am I not surprised? I mean, technically I am younger, but not-”

“Not that much. I mean, I also only listen to maybe a third of what comes out of her mouth, so…” Kurt shrugged before he gave Blaine a second quick look over, finally noticing something. “Hey! No crutches?”

Blaine grinned at the change of subject. “Not around the house. I still need them to go longer distances, but hopefully I’ll get to ditch them altogether soon.”

“Very nice.” Kurt smirked. “Although, I was about to suggest ways you could make them less of a fashion eyesore. Maybe a wrap of some colored fabric. I could even bedazzle them.”

Blaine laughed at that suggestion. “Ah yes. Because bedazzled crutches would go over so well at school.”

“If they didn’t, you could always just whack someone with one,” Kurt suggested jokingly. “I mean honestly, I’m kind of surprised that you’ve refrained from that as long as you have.”

“Refrained from what?” Hiram piped in, stepping into the living room with a punch bowl in hand. “Oh Kurt! I’m glad you made it. I didn’t know that you and Blaine knew each other.”

“Our lockers are near each other,” Kurt covered, quickly changing the subject. “Thank you for talking to my father about letting me stay, Mr. Berry.”

“Oh that was no problem. Let him know that he can call Leroy or I anytime. We’d be happy to talk to him about anything he might want to know.” Leroy glanced down at the bowl in his hands. “Now, can you boys help out and take this down to the basement for me?”

* * *

 

Kurt was glad he’d reached out to take the punch bowl when he saw the way Blaine relied on the railing to get down the stairs. Once again the question he never asked popped up in his head. What exactly had Blaine done to mess his knee up that much?

“We can put it with the food over here.” Blaine gestured toward the bar.

Kurt’s eyebrows raised at the assortment of alcohol bottles locked into a glass case behind it. “Maybe it’s a good thing Puck would never have agreed to come.”

Blaine followed his gaze. “It’s quite a collection, huh? Especially considering I’ve yet to see either Hiram or Leroy have anything more than an occasional glass of wine.”

Kurt set the punch bowl down in a spot Blaine cleared among the bowls of finger food. He turned taking a longer look around the space with wide eyes. “Trust Rachel Berry to have a stage in her basement,” he muttered under his breath before he spotted a friendly face. “Come on. Have you met Mercedes yet?”

“I don’t think so.” Blaine glanced around the small group of people spread throughout the basement trying to figure out who Kurt meant.

Kurt led the way over to the couch, pushing a balloon out of the way to sink down into the middle seat next to Mercedes, leaving Blaine the other end. “Mercedes. I’m so glad you’re here to endure this with me. Meet Blaine.”

Blaine offered his hand out to shake with a shy smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Mercedes took Blaine’s hand with a long look over the boy. “Likewise.” She turned to Kurt with raised eyebrows. “I thought this party was supposed to end up just glee kids.” The ‘what in the world is the new kid doing here?’ was left unspoken in her gaze.

Kurt glanced over to Blaine, unsure how to answer that. He’d just told Blaine he wouldn’t spread around that Blaine was in foster care, but how else did he answer this?

Blaine seemed to get the meaning in his look, because he spoke up. “Rachel’s my foster sister. I am sort of obligated to be here.”

“Which is privileged information,” Kurt jumped in. “Because you know what those idiots at school would do with it.”

Mercedes nodded. “Right. Safe with me. Is this everyone?” She glanced around the basement. “Need names, Blaine? That’s Artie in the wheelchair and Mike with him.” She nodded toward where Mike and Artie were deep in discussion about something that sounded like video games from the few words Kurt could catch. “And that’s Tina. Ooh. Someone should save her from Rachel.” Mercedes froze. “Sorry. I shouldn’t talk about your sister that way.”

“Foster sister,” Blaine corrected. “And please, don’t worry. I understand what you mean. She can be a bit much sometimes. And I know Tina, a little bit. We sit beside each other in a couple of classes. Artie’s in a couple of my classes, too, but, um, I don’t think we’ve talked.”

“No Finn?” Kurt asked, trying to hide his disappointment. He had a cute boy next to him that he hadn’t expected, even if this party seemed to be missing out on the one he had been expecting.

“He canceled,” Blaine offered. “Not that I’ve met him, but Rachel was pretty annoyed. Someone told him not to come. A girl?”

“Quinn,” Mercedes decided. “She’s having- She’s his girlfriend. Head cheerleader. I bet she wanted him as far away from Rachel as possible.”

“And I didn’t expect any of the Cheerios from glee.” Kurt glanced around the small group in the basement. “Honestly, Mike’s kind of a surprise.” Kurt gave Blaine a quick glance and then explained. “Half the glee club’s on the football team or a cheerleader. Mike’s the only one out of either of those groups here.”

“He’s a football player?” Blaine asked, and Kurt didn’t think he was imagining the fear coloring the other boy’s tone.

“But not like that. I have never seen him shove anyone into a locker, and he’s never been part of the group who slushies people or tosses them into dumpsters,” Kurt explained quickly. He understood that fear only too well, and he filed it away in his little mental box of information that might help him solve the puzzle that was Blaine.

“So, do you know what Rachel has planned for this shindig, Blaine?” Mercedes cut in. “Maybe we can suggest something and rescue Tina.”

“I know she pulled out a bunch of board games, and Hiram and Leroy brought a TV down so we could watch movies if we want to,” Blaine said.

“Well, then. I think it’s time for a game. Let’s see what you have.” Mercedes stood, reaching back to offer Kurt a hand up. “Let’s hope there’s something good.”

* * *

 

“So what if I can’t sculpt?” Blaine broke down laughing, giving the pile of purple clay in front of him an extra squish. “No one told me that was going to be a required skill for this game.”

“Well, I thought it was pretty clear by the time we unpacked the thing,” Kurt teased. “Way to represent our team.”

Blaine laughed easily. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected out of this gathering, but it wasn’t the friendly, slightly silly group of people he’d gotten. Apples to Apples had turned into Cranium, and they’d split down the middle into teams. Rachel had immediately claimed him and somehow in the wrangling they’d ended up with Mike and Kurt as well facing the combined powers of Artie, Tina, and Mercedes.

“Hey, hey. Let Blaine be. He’s our trivia champion.” Mike leaned across Kurt for a high five, startling a laugh out of Blaine.

“Yeah, yeah. We’ll recruit him for the Brainiacs later. It’s our turn now.” Artie gave the girls next to him a quick look before he said. “Is it Mercedes turn to be up? We should go Star Performer.”

“Because you all know that I am,” Mercedes joked, standing to take a playful bow as Rachel struggled to pull a card out of the box.

“Well, I suppose there is room for at least two stars in this room,” Rachel said as if that were high praise. She skimmed the card quickly. “Oh! You get to hum.”  

* * *

 

Games were quickly followed by pizza, presents, and birthday cake. Blaine settled on the edge of the stage with his, stretching his legs out in front of him. He looked up when he heard footsteps beside him, giving Tina a smile as she took a seat. “Hey.”

“Hi. So, this has been more fun than I thought it’d be,” Tina admitted.

“You expected it to be boring, and you still came?” Blaine asked curiously.

“Well, Rachel sort of blackmailed us all into being here.” Tina froze for a moment. “I mean, blackmail is probably too strong of a word. Guilted us might be a better fit.”

Blaine laughed with a quick shake of his head. “Of course she did. Well, I’m glad you came. I wasn’t sure I was going to know anyone besides Rachel, so it was nice to see a familiar face.”

Tina grinned. “And maybe now you’ll talk to me a bit more in class? And of course, now that you know more of us, you should come sit with us at lunch?”

“And join the glee club while I’m at it?” Blaine slid his fork down through his cake, slicing off a bit. “Kurt keeps saying I should sit with you.”

“Then you should listen. Even if we can’t talk you into joining the glee club. Yet.” Tina glanced around the room. “Aside from maybe Mike, none of us are people who fit in easily. But now at least we have glee, and we have each other. I’ve seen you at school. Who do you have?”

“Me. And sometimes that has to be enough.” Blaine stabbed his cake. Did he even really want to make friends here? Ones he’d have to leave behind the way he’d left his friends from middle school, the way he’d had to leave Ian? At what point did it stop being worth making friends he’d only have to leave in a few months?

“Sounds lonely, though,” Tina pointed out. “Oh. It looks like Artie and Mike are leaving. I should go say goodbye.”

“So what did that cake ever do to you?” a new voice asked a minute later.

Blaine looked up to see Kurt taking a seat on the section of the stage that Tina had vacated. Blaine shrugged looking down the piece of cake he’d absently cut into bits, busy with his worries. “Nothing. I just- I guess I ate too much pizza.”

“Is there even such a thing?” Kurt joked.

Blaine’s eyes caught on the staircase where Mike and Leroy were carrying Artie up the stairs in his wheelchair. “Are you coming to say goodbye?”

Kurt shook his head with a quick laugh. “No. Didn’t you see my bag when I came in? I’m spending the night with the girls.” Kurt hesitated and then gave a dry laugh. “That’s what Mr. Berry was talking to my dad about, convincing him that it isn’t wrong to let me have a sleepover with girls.” Blaine’s confusion must have shown on his face because Kurt continued with an awkward smile. “On account of my being gay and all.”

“Oh! Right.” Blaine shifted to set his mutilated cake down beside him. “I hadn’t wanted to assume…”

“Why not? Everyone else does,” Kurt said, his tone biting. “That won’t be what stops you from taking my invitation to our lunch table, will it?”

“No. No. Of course not,” Blaine said quickly. He understood all too well how scary being in Kurt’s position could be, the fear of losing a potential friend, how coming out wasn’t a singular event but something you had to keep doing over and over with each new person in your life. “I-” Blaine hesitated, torn between the desire to come out to a friend, to be honest with Kurt in turn and the almost overwhelming fear of having what that had meant at his last school coming to roost here. Being out at home would have to stay enough for now. “I mean, I live with the Berrys, and they’ve been really good to me.”

Kurt let out a relieved breath. “I think we’re having a movie marathon. I’m voting we go either Broadway or romantic comedy. What do you think?”

* * *

 

Kurt stretched out across the top of his sleeping bag, squirming a bit to try to find a comfortable spot on the hard basement floor. One movie had indeed turned into a marathon that had finally ended with 27 Dresses. Blaine had escaped up to his own bedroom two movies ago, leaving Kurt alone with the girls and a basement full of balloons.

Mercedes used one of those to her advantage, tossing it over toward Tina to get a flurry of laughter. “Alright, so while I’m down with finally getting some sleep, I think that we need to have a little bit of girl talk first. What good is a slumber party if we don’t at least discuss boys? And you are up first, Tina. So, what is up between you and Artie?”

Tina blushed, hugging the balloon to her chest. “Exactly what you think. We finally decided to start going out. I mean, neither of us are old enough to drive so mostly it’s just watching a movie or playing video games, but it’s nice. Artie really likes me, you know? And not just for my boobs.”

“Tina!” Rachel giggled. “He doesn’t talk about them does he?”

“He’s a boy. A straight boy. Whether he talks about them or not, you know that’s what’s he thinking about,” Kurt broke in. He’d spent more than enough time in locker rooms to know exactly what kind of things straight boys seemed to think about. “I noticed Finn didn’t come tonight.”

Rachel sniffed. “I think he wanted to. But you know how Quinn can be.”

“Does she have reason to be jealous?” Mercedes asked, leaning forward in anticipation of some good gossip.

“Of course not. Finn may be tall and so handsome, but he is devoted to Quinn, at least for now because of the baby. I respect that,” Rachel said stiffly.

“Uh huh.” Kurt stared up at the ceiling as he spoke, all the better to keep Rachel from seeing him roll his eyes. “Or maybe he just loves her.” No matter how much time Kurt had spent hoping that wasn’t the case.

“Well, we also seem to have some new eye candy added into the mix. I mean, Mike is hot, and your new foster brother, Rachel? He’s adorable. I could totally go for that smile and those curls,” Mercedes pointed out.

“Blaine? But he’s-” Rachel paused mid sentence, seeming to choose a different route. “I don’t think he’s really looking for a relationship right now. He’s always talking about how temporary everything is.”

Kurt let out a soft whoosh of breath. Why did he feel the stab of jealously at Mercedes words that usually came when Quinn or Rachel started talking about Finn? After all, it was Finn he liked, wasn’t it?

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

On Monday, Blaine paused at the door of the cafeteria, staring inside as he gathered his nerves. Hiding out in the library or finding a small table in the corner might be easier, but Blaine knew that being brave enough to join a table of people who’d invited him would be a better choice in the long run. He just had to convince his heart to listen to his brain.

A group of cheerleaders brushing past him startled Blaine back into the moment. He pushed out the breath that caught in his throat at the contact and made himself move forward, leaning more heavily on his crutches than he really needed to.

He didn’t even have time to use any of the greetings he’d rehearsed in his head before Tina noticed him and spoke up. “Blaine! Please tell me you’re coming to join us.”

Blaine nodded, feeling his breath catch in his chest again. Why was this so hard? “If you don’t mind?”

“Of course we don’t. Haven’t we all told you that you’re welcome?” Kurt spoke up, pushing the chair beside him out. “Sit.”

Blaine pulled his backpack out, fishing out his slightly smushed sandwich as he sank down into the chair. “You have.”

“So, did you understand what Mr. Brustien was talking about this morning?” Tina asked, pushing the casserole on her plate around with her fork. “I have no idea how I’m going to do that homework tonight. I swear he made no sense.”

“I could help you,” Blaine offered. “We already covered that at my last school. I think I get it.”

“Blaine!” Rachel gave him a huge smile as she slid her tray on the table across from him. “You came to join us! I was hoping you would. Now you just need to join the New Directions.”

“Rachel.” Kurt cut her off with a shake of his head. “Don’t push. He’ll do what he’s comfortable with.”

Blaine shot Kurt a grateful look as the conversation changed gears to a discussion of what everyone thought the glee assignment that week would be. Blaine could feel the tension flow out of his shoulders. Even if he couldn’t participate in that part of the conversation it was easy, relaxed. This had been the right thing to do.

* * *

 

“So, how have things been going at the Berry’s?” Nate asked as Blaine sank down into one of the comfy armchairs in the therapist’s office.

“Good?” Blaine made the statement a question before he gave a longer, more honest response. “It’s weird to think how well they’re going. I feel like if I articulate it, it’s going to be over. Last week I kind of yelled at Rachel, and they didn’t immediately take her side,” Blaine’s tone expressed his wonder at that. “It was like nothing I’ve seen. They actually seemed to think about what I’d said and cared about how I was feeling.”

Nate listened quietly until it was clear that Blaine was finished talking. “That’s one way that a healthy family works.”

“I guess. But when I’ve been in a home where the parents had their own adopted or biological kids before, it’s always been this thing where I was always in trouble. Where their kids could do no wrong but often I could do no right.” Blaine glanced down at his hands. “I don’t know how to react to this, sometimes. I don’t want to get to used to something that’s only going to end.”

“Why do you think it’s going to end?” Nate probed.

“Because it always does. I may be here a few months. Maybe I’ll even get a year, but at some point Justin will show up, and I’ll have to pack and move. That’s the way life works. If I get used to this, how will I cope with the next place?” Blaine felt his voice quaver and bit his bottom lip. He may have decided to trust Nate with details of his feelings and life, but that didn’t mean that the other man got to see him cry.

“But if you don’t let yourself enjoy this, won’t you be missing out?” Nate leaned forward in his seat. “Do you want to have a family of your own someday Blaine?”

“Yes.” Blaine’s answer came quickly. “Someday, yes.” It was the kind of dream he didn’t often focus on, because it wasn’t one he could fight for now. It was something almost too good to contemplate.

“Then maybe you should view this as practice for that. Let yourself take this a chance to breathe and recharge, but learn from it. Take this as a chance to see how a healthy family interacts so you can model yourself after it as an adult,” Nate pointed out.

Blaine considered that, sinking back further into his chair. “I definitely don’t want to model anything in my life after my biological family.”

“I am glad to hear that things are going well at home for you,” Nate said with a soft smile.

“It’s confusingly nice. I just- when can I stop worrying about it ending and just enjoy it? How do I let that worry go when it’s the only thing that’s sustained me for so long?” Blaine rubbed the heel of his hand over his eyes. “I feel the same way at school. I’m finally making friends, but how do I let myself enjoy it? It hurts too much to make those connections only to lose them. I don’t know if I can do it anymore.”

“Have you talked to Justin lately about adoption? Is that a possibility for you?” Nate asked, grabbing his tablet to flip through Blaine’s file.

Blaine rolled his eyes. “I’m fourteen. So yes, legally I could be adopted, but I know the probability that it will happen. No one wants to adopt a teenage boy. That kind of permanency just isn’t going to happen for me. I haven’t talked to Justin about it, because I don’t want to hear him say what I know he will. I’ll work my own plan. Get good grades. Get a job as soon as I can and save as much money as possible. Find a way to get to college. That’s my permanency. That’s when I can make friends that I won’t have to leave.”

“It sounds like a very lonely next three and a years with that mindset,” Nate pointed out. “Sometimes the pain is worth the risk.”

“Maybe. But I thought that if I could just stay in the background, I could deal with the loneliness. But it doesn’t seem to be working. There’s this group of kids at school who seem to be making it their mission to include me. Apparently I’m enough of a misfit to fit in with them.” Blaine sighed up to the ceiling. “I’m just tired of it all.”

“How has your sleep been lately?” Nate changed course, giving Blaine a concerned look. “Are you still having nightmares?”

“Sometimes.” Blaine avoided eye contact to try to hide the lie of just how frequently it was happening. “It’s becoming more and more this mixture of childhood experiences mixing together with what happened after the Sadie Hawkins dance in my dreams. I know my father wasn’t there. I know Cooper didn’t leave me there, but my subconscious brain seems to want to mix the two together.”

Nate nodded, “Our brain has a way of trying to work things out for us in our sleep. It’s the one point in the day when we really can’t consciously control anything we’re thinking about. Maybe your brain is trying to work out how the abuse you experienced as a child and the physical abuse from this recent attack relate.”

“But they don’t. I don’t see how they relate enough for my brain to link them together,” Blaine insisted.

“Pain. Fear. These deep base emotions link them together in a deeper part of your brain,” Nate pointed out. “The brain needs time to heal, and not just from your concussion. Our minds are incredible things, but they aren’t infallible. That is one of the big reasons for our time here, to help it do that.”

“I wish I could remember it,” Blaine admitted softly. “It’s not that I think the memories would be nice ones or that I really want to dwell on them, but I want to know what was real. Sometimes I can break apart a dream and I know that an aspect of it wasn’t real. My father wasn’t there, for instance. But sometimes I don’t know if my brain’s making things up or if it’s really pulling forward part of memory.”

“Maybe we can dissect that together,” Nate suggested. “This week, if you have any of these dreams, when you wake up I want you to write down what happened. Bring it with you when we meet next week, and we’ll work through what might have been real, what wasn’t, and think about why your brain might have been inserting those things.”

“So we can get down to some real psycho babble?” Blaine shook his head. “I’ll do it, but I guess I know some of it. Some of it’s obvious. Cooper leaving me there to the bullies, like he left for L.A. the minute he graduated high school knowing what Dad and Mom were like.”

“You blame him for it?” Nate asked, his tone level and nonjudgmental.

“I try not to. Intellectually, I know he was only eighteen. What was he really prepared to do for a ten year old? He’d been through hell. He saw an out, and he took it. He did what he had to do to protect himself. My brain knows that.” Blaine blew out a huff of air. “My heart has a harder time believing it. Emotionally, I wanted him to protect me from my father. He was my big brother, and lord knows he’d done that enough times through the years, pulled Dad’s wrath onto him to get my dad to…” Blaine trailed off with a shake of his head. He pressed his hand hard against the rough side of velcro exposed on his knee brace, using the sensation to steady himself. “I guess part of me always wondered why he took it. Why he didn’t come forward. Tell a teacher. But then, I never did. I don’t know if I ever would have.”

“Have you talked to him about this?” Nate said with the even, calm look that Blaine had come to associate with him. It wasn’t what Blaine had expected from Nate on initial appearance, but it was what made him want to open up to him. Nate wasn’t going to reject him for struggling with his past. Helping Blaine was his whole job in this place.

Blaine shook his head, running the pad of his thumb over the rough velcro. “I haven’t. I haven’t spoken to Cooper in, um, two years?” Blaine let the question there show in his voice as he tried to remember. “What would I have to say to him?”

“Articulating all of that might help both of you,” Nate replied. “It’s not a conversation you were ready for at ten, certainly. It might not even be one you’re ready for at fourteen, but it is one you should have someday. Ask him. Find out the truth from his perspective and see how well it matches the story you have in your head. But don’t leave it there. Talk about the everyday. Find out what you have in common. He’s showing up in your dreams, so he’s obviously not just a part of your past. Here’s something to think about, and there’s no right or wrong answer. Do you want Cooper to part of your future? Do you see yourself having a relationship with your brother as an adult? And if so, what are you comfortable doing to make it happen?”

* * *

 

“You ready?” Leroy asked with a quick smile as Blaine made his way back to the waiting room.

He nodded quietly, feeling rather like someone had run him through the wringer. He grabbed his backpack and coat from the chair next to Leroy. “Ready. Are we just going home?”

Leroy shook his head quickly. “I need to stop and pick up some of Hiram’s clothes from the dry cleaners, and then I thought maybe we’d get some take out for dinner. How does that sound to you?”

“Sounds fine.” Blaine covered the yawn that caught him by surprise with the back of his hand. “Sorry. I’m just tired.”

“No worries.” Leroy grabbed the door, holding it open for Blaine to walk out into the cold November air. “What do you think about Chinese for dinner?”

“I’ll eat whatever you serve,” Blaine replied honestly, “but Chinese sounds good.”

He slumped back as soon as they got out to the car, somewhat amazed at how much just talking could have drained him. Opening up to Nate might have been the right choice, but it wasn’t as easy as he’d expected, not when he had to access memories and emotions that he usually kept as far under wraps as possible.

“So, how was school today?” Leroy asked as he started the car.

The soft sound of the music on the radio filled the silence as Blaine considered a safe answer. “It was alright. I think I’m finally starting to make some friends.” And maybe Nate was right. Maybe some of them could even become the kind of friends where the eventual pain of losing them would be worth the time he got to have them.

* * *

 

“It’s fine,” Quinn cut her off tersely. “Well, it’s not, but it’s true. I screwed up and the universe is out to get me. Happy?”

“Can we focus on what’s important here?” Kurt spoke up over the background chatter. “Sectionals is tomorrow. We need twelve people to compete, and now we’re short a member. So we can spend our whole afternoon blaming each other, or we can come up with a way to solve this problem.”

“Kurt is right,” Tina joined in. “We need to brainstorm a list. Who can we even get to do it?”

“Jacob?” Artie suggested.

“Ew.” Rachel shook her head. “We’ll put him on the list, but last resort.”

“Yeah, he might just do it because he wants to, well, do it, but at least he’d sway in the background,” Puck spoke up. “You might just have to take one for the team, Berry.”

“Berry- wait. What about your brother?” Artie asked.

“Rachel’s got a brother?” Santana cut in. “Is he just as shrimpy and whiny?”

“She sort of does.” Kurt cut whatever Rachel might have said off. “We could try to talk Blaine into it, but I’m not sure he’s comfortable with crowds. You all would have to promise to be nice,” Santana got the eye there, “but at least he’s a better option than Jacob.”

“And he can sing,” Rachel said. “He actually has a really good voice.”

“Blaine? Isn’t that the new kid with the crutches?” Puck cut in. “Wouldn’t he just like fall over when we put him on stage?”

“I’ll have you know that Blaine’s knee is healing,” Rachel said defensively. “And his dance moves couldn’t be any worse than yours!”

Kurt waited patiently until the argument circled back around to a low point before he jumped back in. “I am going to volunteer myself to convince Blaine.” He held up a hand as Rachel started to sputter. “I know your relationship. I get it. And that’s why I think I’m a better choice. There’s not all of that other background drama then. Trust me. It’ll be better.”

“Well, if you fail, just know that you’re letting the entire team down and possibly making us all owe a debt to Jacob ben Israel,” Rachel said with a sniff.

“So no pressure,” Mercedes whispered with a nudge and a grin.

* * *

 

“Do you have a minute to talk?” Kurt said, grateful that he’d managed to find Blaine at his locker after the bell rang that afternoon.

“Um, sure? Is something wrong?” Blaine asked, giving the hallway clock a quick look. “I have about fifteen minutes before Leroy will get here to pick me up for physical therapy.”

“That should be plenty of time.” Kurt gave a quick look down the hallway. There was no way that a crowded hallway was going to be the place to get Blaine to listen to him. “Come with me?”

“Where?” Blaine shut his locker, settling his backpack onto his back, crutches finally gone. “You’re kind of freaking me out here, Kurt.”

“No, no. No reason to freak out. I mean, there’s a problem, but it’s not freak out worthy. Not for you. For Rachel? Maybe.” Kurt did his best to keep his tone light and joking as he led the way into the auditorium from the back.

Blaine stared around them for a moment before turned to face Kurt. “Why here?”

“I knew it would be quiet and private. Plus, it’s kind of fitting,” Kurt chose a row, sliding into one of the seats patting the one beside him in invitation to Blaine.

Blaine sank down carefully into it and turned to stare over at Kurt. “So. Are you going to tell me what’s going on? Or are you just going to spend the next fifteen minutes being coy and mysterious until I have to go?”

Kurt laughed. “I hadn’t planned on it, but when you put it like that…” He let out a soft sigh. “So, here’s the situation. Sectionals are tomorrow, right?”

“So this is a glee club thing?” Blaine picked up on that fact quickly. “I’m planning to go watch with Hiram and Leroy. I hope you all do really well.”

“I hope we get to compete,” Kurt muttered. “Remember Finn? The boy Rachel has a huge crush on?” Kurt waited for Blaine to nod, saying nothing of the crush he was trying to get over. “He thought that he’d gotten his girlfriend Quinn pregnant. But he didn’t. Oh, Quinn’s pregnant alright, but the baby is his friend Puck’s.”

Blaine winced. “Ouch. That sounds like something straight out of a soap opera.”

“Right? Well, Finn found out yesterday afternoon. He tried to punch Puck, unsurprisingly, and then stormed out of glee,” Kurt leaned in as he continued the story. “It was all very dramatic.”

“Sounds like it. But what does this have to do with Sectionals? Or me?” Blaine asked with confusion written all over his face. “Did we just come down here to gossip?”

“No. Well, not just to gossip.” Kurt took a deep breath. “See, the thing is, Finn is now refusing to compete tomorrow. We’d only just made the minimum required number of people and now-”

“Oh no. No. I can’t- No.” Blaine shook his head quickly, picking up on exactly what Kurt had planned to ask. “I can’t get up on stage with all those people staring at me. And I couldn’t do this on a day’s notice. How would I learn the choreography? How would I dance anyway? I can’t pivot and turn.”

“Artie’s in a wheelchair. Do you think that the ability to dance is really the qualifying factor here?” Kurt pointed out. “Look, I wouldn’t ask if we had other choices, but we don’t. If we can’t find someone to join us, just for tomorrow, then we have to forfeit. The whole glee club will be over forever.”

“That’s just adding to the pressure.” Blaine blew out a long breath, trying to compose himself. “What if I have a panic attack on the stage?”

“Then we’ll all dance around you,” Kurt joked, leaning in to bump shoulders playfully with Blaine. “We just need you for one song. That counts. I looked it up in study hall today. You can sway in the back while Rachel takes center stage. No one even has to notice you. You don’t even have to sing.”

“I can sing,” Blaine protested. “I- I actually like singing. It’s just the being on stage part. What if people boo? Or throw things? But I wouldn’t be alone, right?”

“Not alone. We could put you in the back row. You’re short enough that most people wouldn’t even see you,” Kurt added that last part teasingly before he pleaded, “please?”

“I’ll try.” Blaine said after a moment’s hesitation. “But you won’t all hate me if I panic or if I’m horrible?”

“We won’t let you be horrible,” Kurt promised. “I’ll come over tonight if it’s alright, and Rachel and I can help you learn some basics. Thank you so much. I won’t let you regret this.”

“I hope not. I used to like performing.” Blaine stood, fiddling with the straps of his backpack nervously. “I should go find Leroy. I’ll see you later.”

Kurt nodded with a wave. It was only once Blaine was completely out the door that he sank back into his seat. What the hell was he doing? Since when did try to take care of people? And what had Blaine meant by that? Stage fright he understood, but why would someone stop enjoying the thrill of performance once they’d experienced it?

Kurt gave himself a few minutes to stew before he pushed up out of the chair. He needed to go let Mr. Schue know that their performer problem was solved. And that they now had a costume one. There was no way that Blaine was going to fit into clothes that were meant for Finn. Not without tripping over pant legs far, far too long and sticking out like a sore thumb at least, and that was something Kurt had just promised not to let happen. This was going to be a long night.

* * *

 

Leroy barely had time to leave a bowl of kettle corn on the basement coffee table with a cheery, “Here’s some fuel for your recital. Good luck!” and be back up the stairs before things started to go south.

“I think it should be Proud Mary,” Rachel insisted. “That way Blaine could use a wheelchair, and there wouldn’t be any stress on his knee.”

“You want to teach him the hardest number? Really?” Kurt fired back. “We have one evening, and you think it’s a good idea to get Blaine up to speed on a complicated wheelchair dance number?”

“Well, if you’re willing to put in the work for it, I’m sure Blaine and I can do this without you,” Rachel huffed.

“I never said-”

Blaine held up his hand to interrupt both of them. “Can we not fight about this? I did not agree to help just to watch you two argue.” He sank back onto the couch, wrapping his arms tight around his middle. “What are the other options?”

“Well, there’s Mercedes solo,” Rachel said, with a negative tone that made Blaine not want to have hear anything more about that option, “and Don’t Stop Believing by Journey.”

“Which is what I think we should teach you,” Kurt cut in. “The choreography’s much easier than Proud Mary, and there’s a lot of background voal parts you could fade into if you’re nervous.”

Blaine bit his lower lip, considering it. Kurt’s option sounded better, but he hated to have to disagree with Rachel. He had to live with her. The wheelchair aspect pushed him over the edge, though. There was no way he was going to master that and get any amount of sleep tonight.  “Could we do Don’t Stop Believing first at least?”

Rachel hmphed at the decision but grabbed her iPod to hook up to the speakers anyway. “Fine. I have both the karaoke and the original version. Should we start with vocals or choreography.”

Kurt hopped up onto the stage, gesturing to Blaine to join him. “Choreography. No offense, Blaine, but in the end, no one will notice if you’re just mouthing the words, but they will notice if you’re out of sync with the rest of us.”

* * *

 

The green room was abuzz with nerves and fear. From what Blaine could understand of the chatter, someone had stolen their songs. All of them. Including the one that Blaine had stayed up late the night before learning from Kurt and Rachel. All that time learning background vocals wasted. And to make matters worse, it seemed like their teacher hadn’t been able to come today for some reason.

Finding a chair in the corner to hide in had seemed like the best move. From here, he could watch the stirred up beehive that was the rest of the club, hopefully without getting drawn up into it.

“I bet Finn told them all.”

“No way! He may not be here, but he’d never be a traitor like that!”

“That’s what you think.”

“It’s what I know!”

Blaine tried to let it all just wash over him, but he could feel a tightness in his breath and an airy feeling in his head that never meant good things. He tried focusing on his breathing, in and out, to steady himself.

“Guys! Guys! We need to stop arguing and focus on pulling something together.” That was Mercedes voice, rising above the din. Blaine popped his head up to see what they decided.

“I think we need to just go out there and be better them. Sing our songs and show how we can pull them off so much better,” Santana exclaimed.

“No way! What if we suck?” That was Puck, Blaine thought. The last few members had been introduced to him in a flurry of names on the way on the bus that morning.

“I think we should pull out some of the songs in our back pocket. We’ve rehearsed so many that I’m sure we can pull something together,” Artie called out over the noise.

“Just as long as we skip Push It,” Tina insisted.

“I thought we were never going to speak of that moment again,” Kurt drawled before he shook his head. “We’ll pull something together.”

Mercedes nodded with a sigh. “Rachel. You have a solo you could do at a moment’s notice, don’t you?”

“Of course. You’re giving it to me?” At Mercedes nod, Rachel stood up straighter, the fire back in her eyes. “Blaine and I have several duets we’ve sung around the piano at home…”

Blaine could feel his breath catch again. A duet? He had not agreed to that. He’d barely agreed to swaying in the background. When Kurt caught his eyes, he shook his head vehemently.

Kurt nodded back and took to Blaine’s defense. “While I’m sure that would be lovely, that is not what Blaine agreed to. I know that you have to have songs you’ve been practicing since you were two. Steal the spotlight, Rachel. We’re actually giving you permission for once.”

“I do have one or two,” Rachel said, shifting focus, much to Blaine’s relief.

All heads snapped to the doorway almost in unison as a deeper voice spoke up. “Perfect. And I brought a group number. If you’ll have me back.”

“Finn.” Rachel’s voice came out almost on a whisper.

“Of course we’ll have you back,” Mercedes said. “Now, what did you bring? How did you know we needed this?”

“Schue. Here. I brought sheet music.” Finn said, spreading out copies on the table as Blaine stared over. So this was Finn. Blaine wasn’t really sure what he’d expected from the way Rachel and Kurt talked about him, but this tall, gangly boy wasn’t it.

“I could just go find Hiram and Leroy then,” Blaine said finally pushing himself up out of his corner chair. Finn was here. They had twelve people, and they didn’t need him anymore, thank God.

Kurt shook his head, walking over so that he could talk softly, sparing the whole room from hearing them. “Perform with us anyway, please.”

“But I don’t have to,” Blaine dropped his voice as well, letting the conversation stay between the two of them.

“You don’t. And there’s no way I could make you. But think of it this way, do you want the fear to win?” Kurt asked, his voice down almost to a whisper. “You told me that you used to like performing. Don’t let someone or something take that away from you.”

Blaine’s head whipped up, staring Kurt straight in the eyes. How had he figured that out? Blaine took a handful of deep breaths considering it before he just nodded in reply.

“Blaine’s with us. Make sure you include him in your planning!” Kurt raised his voice back up to a level that could be heard over the rest before he gave Blaine a quick, tight smile. “I promised not to let you regret this, right?”

* * *

 

As the lights went down, Blaine couldn’t stop grinning. He’d made it. He’d pushed through the nerves and the potential panic attack he’d thought was coming when he stepped on stage, and it had been wonderful. All those eyes and it hadn’t mattered. Not when there was music to surround him.

He didn’t even flinch away when Mercedes wrapped an arm around him, grinning. “We did it!” She grabbed Kurt on her other side pulling him close as the curtains closed. “It may not have been as smooth as what we practiced, but we made it through.”

“At least we know that if we didn’t win, we did our best,” Tina added in.

“And no one vomited on stage from nerves or killed each other in a jealous rage,” Kurt said dryly with a quick grin to Blaine for the first part. “I’d call this a successful first competition. Hopefully the judges will see it that way.”

“I think we sounded wonderful.” Rachel joined them as they made their way back to their green room. “Blaine, you did great. Will you join us for real now?”

“I-” Blaine paused, trying to work through the adrenaline rush and flood of emotions that being on stage had brought. “Of course I will.” He might regret that decision when he came down from the performance high, but in that moment, Blaine wanted this to continue forever, despite all the drama that afternoon had brought with us.

“My dads have promised a pizza party at our house if we win,” Rachel added, raising her voice so that everyone could hear. “And that goes for anyone who wants to come and isn’t afraid of ruining their reputation.”

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

“I joined the glee club,” Blaine announced before he’d fully settled into his chair in Nate’s office.

Nate gave him a smile in return. “That sounds like good news.”

“It is, I think. I thought about what you said about making friends at McKinley. At least with the glee club, I’ll have a group to sit by at lunch and to talk to on the weekends. I won’t be so alone at school.” Blaine blew out a deep breath as he got to the heart of why he’d brought it up here. “I really love to sing. I like music in general. In middle school, I loved being on stage, but lately… That was really hard. I joined last minute to help out with a competition last weekend because they needed someone, and forcing myself onto the stage was hard.”

“What do you think changed?” Nate asked curiously.

“I feel so much more self-conscious now.” Blaine sank his head back into the chair looking up to the ceiling rather than making eye contact. “I never used to feel so worried all the time. Now I just can’t seem to get out of my head what people might think, what they might say, what they might do.”

“Why do you think that is?” Nate continued the questions, giving Blaine the chance to probe into his own feelings.

“School used to be a safe place,” Blaine said, after a moment’s silence to think. “When I was younger, when I lived with my parents, school was an escape. At worst, the teacher might yell, but she was never drunk or high. No one hurt me. Sometimes I would pretend that I lived at school all the time, like Harry Potter. Even when I wasn’t with my family anymore, school was a constant. Different schools, yes, but they were more similar than different families could be.”

“I know a lot of people have trouble with middle school,” Blaine continued, “but it wasn’t that bad for me. I had this one teacher, Mrs. Lambert, who was just amazing. She was my music teacher last year, and she took me under her wing, started to teach me to play piano. But high school has destroyed that. School isn’t safe anymore, so then what is? I may not remember much about the actual attack, but I remember every moment that came before it. When I decide to put myself out there, stand up on stage, I feel like I’m inviting attention, and this year has taught me just how much negative attention can hurt.”

Nate waited quietly for Blaine to finish talking before he said, “How did it feel to actually be up on stage?”

“Wonderful. As soon as we actually started performing, I was able to just go with it. It was so amazing to be up there doing that again. I just wish I could do it without drowning in anxiety first.” Blaine sat up straighter, finally making eye contact.

“This sounds like something we should spend more time on,” Nate decided. “It would be a mistake for us to focus on helping you deal with the attack itself and ignore the bullying that led up to it.”

* * *

 

Blaine clutched his small pile of textbooks closer to his chest as he spotted the pair of jocks coming down the hallway, their bright red letterman’s jackets making them easy to identify. If he made himself smaller, maybe he would be easier to ignore if they were just looking for an easy target.

“Hey Azimio, I went over to my cousin’s house this weekend, and you know what he told me?” The first boy called out loud enough for the whole hallway to hear them.

“No, what happened?” Azimio’s voice carried just as well, his words sounding rehearsed.

“He was telling me all about this kid who used to go to Blufton High with him and just how thankful he was that someone had managed to run the fag off.”

Blaine’s head whipped up at the mention of his previous school. As the words continued to fall, he felt like the bottom was dropping out of his stomach. He stood frozen in place in the middle of the hallway, suddenly unable to get his feet to move him through the crowd.

“Oh yeah? He say what that kid’s name was, Strando? I’d hate to think he’s off contaminating another school with his gayness.” Azimio’s voice boomed through a hallway that had fallen silent.

“See that’s the thing. Seems the kid moved here. You don’t have any classes with a Blaine in them do you? Because you know, he might try to put a move on you, disgusting pervert that I heard he is.”

There was a slam of metal, and Blaine looked up just in time to see Mike in the Strando’s face pushing him back against the wall of lockers. “You better shut up right now.”

“Or what Chang?” Azimio’s voice rang out behind him as Blaine finally got his feet to move again. He careened through the hallway light headed enough to feel drunk. “Or has glee club finally managed to turn you gay, too?”

Blaine shoved through the door to the boy’s restroom, barely making it to one of the stalls before he was emptying everything in his stomach into the toilet. How could this be happening? No one was supposed to know. Not here. The Berrys had promised not to tell anyone he was gay. He was supposed to be able to fly under the radar. He wasn’t supposed to be outed. Everyone who wasn’t in that hallway would find out soon enough. Everyone. It was going to turn right back into Blufton High again, only this time it wasn’t going to be his choice to come out.

When it felt like everything he’d eaten in the last twenty four hours had come back up, Blaine sank back against the cool tile wall of the bathroom, not the least bit mindful of the germs that might be coating it. When the tardy bell rang, Blaine made no move to get to his next class. Instead he was trying to force air back into his lungs and get his heart to stop trying to beat out of his chest, suddenly aware of how much his arms were shaking, books dropped somewhere along the way.

Blaine flinched with the door opened, pulling back on himself as much as he could. It wasn’t until he saw the pair of calf height lace up boots under the stall wall that he started to relax. There was really only one person he knew who would walk into a boy’s bathroom wearing those.

Kurt pushed the stall door Blaine had never bothered to lock open slowly, peeking his head inside. “You alright?”

Blaine gave a bitter laugh in response, and Kurt rolled his eyes. “That was a stupid question. Of course you’re not alright.”

“You heard?” Blaine forced out, gripping his thighs tightly with his hands, trying to keep Kurt from seeing how badly they were shaking.

“Not firsthand. Tina ran off to find me. I got there just in time to see Schue peeling Mike off of Strando.” Kurt squatted down, careful to let nothing but the soles of his shoes touch the bathroom floor. “Tina grabbed your books. They’re in her locker, but I thought you might not appreciate a group right now.”

Blaine shook his head quickly. “No. I couldn’t-” He hesitated, trying to collect his thoughts into some form of coherent sentence. “The whole glee club isn’t going to be waiting in the hallway for me, is it?”

“No. I can’t tell you that they won’t all know exactly what was said within the next five minutes, but they won’t be waiting outside for you,” Kurt paused, glancing around the bathroom. “How do you feel about skipping class?”

“Usually I’m pretty opposed, but right now? I’d rather face the nurse than class,” Blaine admitted.

“That’s one option. I’m sure you could get her to send you home easily enough. Or- how would you feel about some company? I know a place rather less germy than this,” Kurt offered, standing back up.

Blaine pushed off of the tile floor and over to the sinks, turning one on to splash water into his face before he answered, staring into the mirror. “That sounds alright. I’d hate to make Leroy come get me when it’s already seventh period, but I just can’t face…”

“I know.” Kurt hovered, waiting while Blaine rinsed out his mouth. He moved to slide the hallway door open just far enough to peek outside. “The coast is clear. Come on this way.”

Blaine followed through the empty hall giving Kurt a surprised look when he saw which door they were heading through. “The auditorium?”

“Not quite.” Kurt led the way quietly down the aisle between the chairs, up and through the stage, and behind the curtains to a ladder built into the back wall. It was only there that he turned, giving Blaine a quick look up and down. “Can you climb with that knee?”

Blaine flexed his leg, considering it. “I think so? I mean I haven’t tried, but with the brace I don’t see why not.”

“Up here then.” Kurt scrambled quickly up the ladder to a loft set up above a changing space and makeup tables.

Blaine followed a slower pace, trying not to put too much of his weight on his bad knee at once. Once he climbed over the top, he stood, staring around the space. The loft was bigger than he’d expected, full of row after row of costumes ranging from historical period pieces to the worst collection of polyester suits he’d ever seen in his life.

“Welcome to the McKinley costume closet, well, costume loft.” Kurt did his best Vanna White imitation. “Unless they’re preparing for a show, no one comes up here. Ever. When everything gets to be too much, this is where I come to hide.”

Blaine nodded slowly. “Like today?”

“Like today.” Kurt looked around the space and after a moment’s hesitation he grabbed a worn looking shawl from a hanger, spreading the long swath of material over the thin layer of dust on the floor to give them somewhere to sit. “Would you rather talk about it or pretend it never happened?”

“I don’t suppose everyone else could just pretend it didn’t happen,” Blaine said bitterly as he sank down onto one corner of the fabric. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you. I wanted to come out to you when you told me, but I just couldn’t. I didn’t want anyone here to find out.”

“You don’t have to apologize to me.” Kurt took a seat beside him, spreading his long legs out in front of him, crossed at the ankle. “I know how hard it is. It took me so long to decide to finally come out. There were so many times that I stood there facing my dad, ready to tell him, only to lose the courage. When I finally did, it wasn’t planned. It just came out in a jumble.”

“I decided I didn’t want to be in the closet for high school,” Blaine said softly, forcing air into his lungs to combat just how scared he was to tell this story. “I was in a new school, a new home, and I decided that, screw it, I wasn’t going to hide who I was. It turned out be just about the worst decision I’d ever made. School was hell, my foster parents turned out to be homophobic, and things got bad enough that a group of football players put a friend and I in the hospital. So when I came here, I decided that I wouldn’t make that mistake again. The Berrys know, but I decided it would be safer otherwise to just go back into the closet and to stay there until maybe college. Not as honest, not as brave, but safer, you know?”

Kurt nodded, buying time to decide how to respond to that. “And now you don’t even get to make that choice. It sucks. Nobody should ever be forced to share something they’re not ready for.” Kurt shifted to face Blaine. “I promise I won’t share anything you’ve told me. I would never do that.”

“I know,” Blaine said quickly. “I don’t know why, but I think I trust you.” Blaine let out an exhausted sigh. “Rachel’s going to tell Hiram and Leroy isn’t she?”

“Probably. Now whether she’ll do it to get the attention of telling the story or because she’d trying to protect you might be up for grabs. You don’t want them to know?” Kurt asked.

“They know I’m gay. They know everything that happened at my last school. None of that is news. I’m pretty sure Justin, my social worker, chose them for me as the least likely foster parents ever to be homophobic,” Blaine even cracked a forced smile at that. “What I don’t want is to move again. I can deal with whatever McKinley brings. I might not want to, but I can. I’m finally feeling comfortable at the Berry’s. They actually seem to really care. I’m making friends. I don’t want Justin to decide that I need a different school and take all the good things away from me.”

“You think he would?” Kurt pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. “This isn’t an easy place to be out,” he warned. “For me, I guess it’s always been kind of obvious. Everyone assumed. When I came out I just confirmed their assumptions. The bullying started before I came out, and it certainly hasn’t stopped since. I wish I could tell you differently.”

“At least neither of us has to be alone.” Blaine finally made eye contact. “We’ll make it through, right?”

“Of course we will. We won’t be here forever. I’m moving to New York when I graduate, or to some other equally fabulous big city. I think I want to be an actor, or maybe work in the fashion industry. Either way, I know that I’ll be off to college and out of here,” Kurt said.

“Getting out of Ohio will be harder for me.” Blaine sighed again. “It’s going to depend so much for me on where I can get the financial aid to be able to go, but I will get to college somehow. Even if it’s Ohio State, it will still be less small-minded. It has to be right?”

“Right.” Kurt turned back to stare out off of the edge of the loft into the dark backstage of the theater. “Would you be interested in hanging out this weekend? Mercedes and I are going to the mall on Saturday.”

“I’ll have to ask Hiram and Leroy. I don’t know what I’m allowed.” Blaine turned as well, looking out into the dark. “I don’t know what I’ll feel like doing after school tomorrow.”

“If tomorrow turns out to be a crappy Friday, does that mean that you should spend the whole weekend stewing about it? Wouldn’t it be better to let us distract you?” Kurt asked.

“You sound like Nate,” Blaine half-grumbled.

“Who is Nate?” Kurt asked curiously.

Blaine could feel the flush creeping up his cheeks. He hadn’t really meant to bring up therapy with Kurt, certainly not today and probably not ever. His only other choice here was to lie, though, and that felt even worse than admitting to why he really saw Nate. “He’s my therapist. Justin made me start seeing him when I transferred here. He’s always asking me these really wise questions.”

“Then I guess I’ll avoid being upset by the comparison,” Kurt cracked a genuine smile before attempting to distract Blaine by changing the topic of conversation entirely to a discussion of an outfit he was searching for just the right fabric to sew.

The sound of the last bell of the school day ringing was fainter there, but it still caught Blaine by surprise. He hadn’t realized just how long he and Kurt had been talking, especially once the conversation shifted to lighter topics.

“Give it about five more minutes,” Kurt suggested. “By then most people will already be in practices or out the door, but it won’t be so long that Leroy will be worried about you.”

* * *

 

Blaine got through dinner somehow. He couldn’t have told anyone what they’d talked about, but somehow he’d managed to participate in the conversation. He’d skipped the evening song time though, begging off with the explanation that he had a paper to finish for English.

His final paper on the Odyssey hadn’t gotten any longer since he’d started, though. Instead, he’d spent the time staring at his copy of the book with his thoughts everywhere but ancient Greece.

“Care for some tea?” Leroy asked from the open doorway. “I thought that you might be ready for a little distraction from all that hard work.”

Blaine stared down at his page of notes, glad that Leroy had no way to know how long the paper had been at the end of English class that morning. “Sure.” He pushed his desk chair back to face Leroy. He’d been wondering how long it would take Rachel to tell her fathers and how they would handle it if she did. The tea brought a quick smile to his face when the smell wafted over. Peppermint. The same thing Hiram had brought him after he’d snapped at Rachel.

Leroy slid the mug and saucer onto Blaine’s desk. He gave the neat bedroom a quick look before taking a seat on the foot of Blaine’s bed, smoothing a non-existent wrinkle in the comforter out beside him. “So…”

“Rachel told you what happened?” Blaine asked, unwilling to sit and listen to Leroy try to find the right words to dance around it.

“She did.” Leroy sighed. “How are you doing?”

Blaine shrugged noncommittally, taking the time to reach back for his tea, more to avoid the need to give a quick answer than because he was thirsty. “You wouldn’t believe me if I said I was fine would you?”

“Not really.”

Blaine took a long sip of his tea before he decided that honesty was safe enough tonight. “I guess mostly I’m just scared. There’s a hint of relief, that I don’t have to feel like I’m lying or worry about someone finding out anymore, because it’s all out there now. That’s covered though with a much deeper blanket of fear. I have no idea what to expect tomorrow, and,” Blaine paused for a sheepish shrug, “I might have skipped seventh period today.”

“So Hiram and I should be ready for a phone call about it?” Leroy gave Blaine a soft smile. “I can’t say that I condone skipping classes, but I also understand. Just don’t make a habit out of it, alright?”

Blaine shook his head. “Oh, I never would. My grades are too important for that.”

“Good. I’m sorry that this happened to you. Do you want me to go in and have a word with Principal Figgins about those boys?” Leroy asked.

Blaine shook his head quickly. “No. Not for this. I mean, what is he going to do about talking in the hallway? The damage is already done. No one is going to unhear or unknow. It’d just make me more of a target.”

Leroy sighed. “I wish there were more I could do. Some way to make you not have to worry about tomorrow. You’ll let Hiram or I know if it goes beyond gossip or stares in the hallway, right?” Leroy raised a hand to cut Blaine off. “Justin told us what was going on at your last school. Don’t let it get back there. You know Hiram and I would fight Figgins to the school board if necessary to make sure school is a safe space for you, right?”

Blaine nodded, using a sip of tea as an excuse to avoid eye contact. “I’m sure it will be fine,” he lied. He’d already decided that there was no way he’d risk Justin finding out if things got bad. He’d already proven he could deal with the slurs, so unless things got physical, he had no intention of letting Hiram or Leroy find out. He was coming to like living at the Berry’s, and today had just shown him that moving to a new school would make no difference. It might give him a few weeks of peace, but then everything would just start up again. It wasn’t a cycle worth continuing.

Leroy watched him for a moment, giving Blaine time to sit in silence before he finally spoke up again. “And you know we’re always here for some tea or a hug. Whatever you need.”

Blaine cracked a smile at that. “I guess I could use a hug.”

Leroy smiled back, seemingly grateful to have something he could do. He stood, moving over to pull Blaine into his arms.

Blaine wrapped his arms around Leroy’s back awkwardly. It took him a moment before he could relax into the gesture, suddenly unsure of the last time he’d ever had a hug like this. After a moment he pulled away, the smile on his face feeling a bit more natural. “I did want to ask you about something. Kurt and Mercedes are going to the mall this weekend, and Kurt asked if I wanted to come with them. Could I?”

“Of course.” Leroy didn’t even need to consider that. “You know, I think it’s time for Hiram and I to talk about giving you an allowance. You need some spending money for things like this.”

“I’ll be fine,” Blaine insisted.

“And what would you do when stopped at the food court for lunch? Be stuck sitting there awkwardly while they ate?” Leroy asked before he gave his head a quick shake. “Rachel gets an allowance. There’s no reason it should be any different for you.”

* * *

 

Climbing out of Leroy’s car the next morning was one of the hardest things Blaine had done in a long time. He had no idea what was going to be waiting for him once he walked through the doors of McKinley High, but he knew for certain that more eyes were going to be on him today than when he’d walked in the same doors weeks before as a brand new student.

“Do you want me to walk with you to your locker or your class?” Rachel asked, falling into step beside him as Blaine stared at the front steps of the school.

After a moment’s consideration, Blaine shook his head. “No. I’ll be fine, but thank you for offering.” He gave Rachel a quick, forced smile as much to avoid her potential wrath as anything else.

This was something he had to do alone, though. He had to have enough strength of his own to push through this. And if it didn’t go the way he wanted it to? Well, then he also needed less of an audience, especially less of an audience who had proven that they’d just report back to his foster parents on what had happened.

Blaine made it to his locker as quickly as possible, aware of all the eyes on him as he passed. His hands shook on the lock as he tried to spin it to the right combination. No one had said anything directly to him, but he could hear whispered snippets of conversation around him as he hung his backpack up, grabbing the books he needed for first period.

“Yeah, that’s him.”

“Do you think they were right?”

“Wouldn’t he have said something if they weren’t?”

“I heard he ran.”

Blaine did his best to tune out the whispers, shutting his locker quickly with a quick spin to the lock. It had only taken once to learn that lesson when it came to making sure no one could get into his locker.

He kept his eyes down as he hurried off to class, relieved to sink down next to Tina in his seat toward the back of the room.

Tina gave him a sympathetic look, and Blaine was suddenly worried she was going to start asking questions about the whole thing. What she asked instead surprised him. “Several of us were thinking about getting some extra practice in at lunch in the auditorium. Do you want to come?”

Blaine shot her a grateful smile even as he shook his head. “I know what you’re doing. Thank you, but no. I need to face the cafeteria. I’m not going to be able to put that off all year, and the longer I do, the more worried I’ll be.”

* * *

 

Despite what he’d said to Tina, stepping foot into the lunch line was still nerve wracking. Blaine kept his head down as he made his choices, grabbing vegetables and some kind of casserole that might have featured chicken.

He’d just set off for the table that the glee kids frequented when he was jostled from either side. He looked up to see two girls in short red and white skirts saunter by with a comment about, “Isn’t it starting to feel a little bit queer in here?”

Blaine gripped the sides of his tray tighter, forcing air to continue to move in and out of his lungs as he steadied himself.

He thought he’d done a good job of it, but the moment he slid his tray onto an empty spot next to Tina, Mercedes asked, “Are you alright, Blaine? You don’t look so good.”

Blaine lied smoothly, “I’m fine. It’s just all the eyes on me. I hate feeling like someone’s watching wherever I go.” He couldn’t say more, not with the rapt look Rachel had given him from Tina’s other side.

“You’d let us know if someone’s bothering you right? We’d take care of it,” Mike insisted.

Blaine nodded in response, startled to see Mike there. A quick sweep of the table showed more club members than usual. By his count only Puck and Finn were missing. Since he’d started sitting with the group, Blaine had never seen any of the Cheerios or football players join them at lunch. They had other, more popular, teams to sit by. Today though, they’d chosen the glee table, and Blaine knew exactly why. The silent show of support that their very presence formed actually did make him feel a little bit better. He didn’t have to be alone in this if he didn’t want to be.

“So, what do you think Mr. Schuester’s lesson this week will be?” Blaine asked, trying to divert conversation to something safer.

“I hope it’s something where we can involve more Broadway,” Rachel said. “I, for one, am working to perfect as much of the Broadway catalog as possible so that I am prepared for future auditions.”

Even the grumbling that went through the table at that wasn’t spiteful. “Oh lord no,” Santana put in with a shake of her head. “That’d be almost as bad as a Journey week. We need something that can showcase more mainstream talents.”

* * *

 

Blaine trailed behind Mercedes and Kurt a few steps as they pushed through a rack of women’s clothes at Forever 21. A mall trip with friends was totally new to him, and really, he’d had no idea what he’d been getting himself into. This was the third store they’d walked into trying to find Mercedes the perfect outfit for her birthday celebration.

“You should definitely try this on.” Kurt pulled out a long sweater, holding it up against Mercedes to get a preview of how it might work on. “Right, Blaine?”

Blaine nodded quickly as Kurt turned to face him. “I bet you would look beautiful in it,” he offered with an honest smile.

“Thank you, Blaine.” Mercedes shot a smile back as she grabbed it. “Let’s find a few other options and then I’ll try them on.”

Blaine followed them from rack to rack as Kurt either made or approved of choices or returned items to the rack with a shake of his head. Blaine didn’t really have much to offer here beyond supportive comments, but it was still nice to be included, even if he had no idea what half of what Kurt said meant.

“Show us any items or outfits you think are worth considering,” Kurt finally insisted as he shooed Mercedes off to a changing room with an arm full of clothes.

“You’re really good at this,” Blaine offered, finding an open spot on the wall to lean against.

“Of course I am. I spend my free time deep in issues of Vogue or on fashion blogs,” Kurt gave Blaine a quick look up and down. “Do I get to style you next? I’m dying to see you in something other than jeans and a t-shirt or polo.”

“What else would I wear?” Blaine asked curiously.

“A nice button down?” Kurt suggested, turning to fully face Blaine. “There are some great sweater styles this season that you could easily pull off. Maybe some pants that are a bit more fitted. What kind of colors do you prefer?”

“What kind of sweaters?” Blaine pushed. “I don’t want to stand out.”

“But you already do. Why not own it?” Kurt glanced down at his own thigh length red sweater and jet black skinny jeans. “Fashion is a statement. If you want to choose to blend in, then I guess you’re doing it right. But I think blending in is overrated. I choose to be fabulous, and they can just deal with it. I’d rather be me than be who they expect me to be.”

“Could you find something that’s me, but not so over the top?” Blaine considered the possibility of buying something for himself. He hadn’t come to the mall planning on getting anything, but he did have the money for something as long as he didn’t go overboard. The Berrys had insisted not only on giving him an allowance, but on back dating it to the day he’d moved in, leaving Blaine with more money in his pocket than he thought he’d ever had.

“I’m sure we could. If nothing else, wouldn’t it be fun to look?” Kurt turned as Mercedes came out, dressed in a loose, gauzy shirt glittering with stripes of gold sequins and a pair of skinny jeans. “That’s a great look on you.”

“You think so?” Mercedes turned to look into a long mirror. “It’s not too much?”

“It’s very you,” Kurt decided, moving to stand behind her. “Don’t you want some sparkle in your birthday? You deserve a look that’s as amazing as you are. Did you try the others on?”

“The sweater didn’t fit right, but I’ve got one more thing. Give me just a minute.”

* * *

 

Blaine probably shouldn’t have been surprised that Leroy was right about stopping at the food court. He stared around at the options, very glad to have the money in his pocket to be able to get lunch. It would have been awkward to be here and pretend not to be hungry so that Kurt and Mercedes didn’t realize why he really wasn’t getting anything.

Instead, Blaine got tacos form a local Mexican chain. He was just turning to see if the others had found a table yet, when there was a deep voice whispering over his shoulder.

“You need to stop infecting our mall and our school with your gay ways before you regret it.”

By the time Blaine turned, he could just see the back of a brown haired teenage boy walking away. Panic flooded his body as he spun, looking for anyone else, terrified of who might be waiting for him. Certainly somewhere as public as a food court would be safe, wouldn’t it? A hand touched his arm, and Blaine’s grip loosened sending his tray clattering to the floor.

“Oh God. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you,” Mercedes said, bending down to right his soda cup before the lake of cola spreading the tile floor got any bigger.

“I should get some napkins.” Blaine spun away, trying to keep Mercedes from seeing just how shaken up he was. By the time he’d gone to the nearest restaurant and grabbed a pile, it was easier to pretend that he had simply been startled.

Mercedes grabbed the napkins from him, bending down to mop up the worst of the spill. “I’m so sorry, Blaine. I didn’t mean to make you drop your tray.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Blaine lied. “At least the tacos were wrapped, right? The only damage done was to the floor.” He wasn’t going to even mention any damage to his nerves.

By the time they got settled at the table, soda refilled with a new lid and straw, Kurt was looking down at his phone. “I was just about text you, Mercedes, and see if the two of you had decided to elope.”

“Ha ha.” Blaine slid into a seat. “I was just being my clumsy self. I dropped my tray and made a mess.”

Mercedes shot him a long look at that before she unwrapped her own chicken sandwich. “What are our plans for the afternoon?”

“I want to stop by the music store and see if they have any new sheet music and then look at men’s clothing. Blaine? Anything you wanted?” Kurt turned, giving him an appraising glance that made Blaine feel like Kurt wasn’t quite buying his story.

“I’m happy to do whatever, but if we pass a bookstore, there’s a book I’d like to see if they have.” He stretched his legs out under the table, only realizing how tired his muscles had gotten once he was resting them. “My knee is glad for the break, though,” he admitted.

Mercedes blinked quickly, looking like she hadn’t even considered that. “You’ll make sure to let us know if you need to sit down for awhile, right?”

“We can always find a bench and judge the outfits of passerby,” Kurt offered dryly. “I mean, it’s Lima so it’s unlikely that anyone would get above a three, but it could still be entertaining.”

* * *

 

“How was your trip?” Hiram asked as Blaine walked in the door. “Did you find any wonderful things?”

“I think Kurt did.” Blaine shrugged off his winter coat, shuffling his few bags from hand to hand. “He convinced me to get a sweater. It seems like it would be pretty warm.”

“Good, and I’m sure he would make sure that it’s stylish. But did you have fun?” Hiram put his book down into his lap, sitting cross legged on the couch in the living room.

“I did.” And Blaine was even being honest if he ignored the incident in the food court. The rest of the trip really had been fun. “Kurt and Mercedes both seem really nice.”

“Good. It’s nice to see you making friends at school.”

* * *

 

Bang! A shoulder checked Blaine into a locker out of nowhere. Images of memories spiraled in too fast for him to even see who had done it. The hallway faded into the crisp air outside of the dance, the sharp collision of his shoulder into the grates of the locker morphing itself into kicks and blows raining down on him. By the time the hallway became clear again, Blaine found himself facing his locker.

He leaned his forehead against the cold metal, trying to get his heart to stop beating a mile a minute. He had to drop off his textbooks and get to glee. There was no way he could let them see him freaking out.

“Headache?” That was Rachel’s voice, and Blaine pulled away trying to get his social mask back in place. He knew how to pretend to be alright. He just had to get it to work right now.

“Just a bit. I should probably do a better job staying hydrated,” Blaine covered, opening his lock and hoping Rachel wouldn’t notice his shaking hands.

“I hope it’s not too bad because we have glee. Can I bend your ear and get your opinion on my song choice for this week? I want to make sure it’s alright.” Rachel seemed oblivious at least, too caught up in listing potential songs to care what Blaine was doing. Somehow that in itself was steadying. Blaine could forget what had just happened and lose himself instead in trying to convince Rachel to go more Sondheim than Barbra. There were times when having Rachel for a foster sister were turning out to not be so bad.

* * *

 

Blaine’s panic on Tuesday was only the start of a long week. It seemed that at every turn there was someone there to drop a cruel word or turn his shoulders black and blue with locker shoves. The dreams, nightmares really, had followed, picking up in frequency and intensity. By Friday, Blaine couldn’t wait for the weekend. At least those would be two days to recover before he got thrown back to the wolves at McKinley.

Between third and fourth period, he had to go back to his locker to exchange his world history textbook for his Spanish one. As the week had gone on, he’d started to make fewer and fewer trips to his locker preferring to get to his next class as quickly as possible, but there were only so many classes he could go between without changing books, even when he planned ahead.

His locker was open, and he was almost ready to slide back into the crowd and try to disappear until he was in the relative safety of Mr. Schuester’s classroom when he saw the red jacket and slushie cup that he’d come to associate with trouble. He ducked back behind his locker door, hoping for a shield at least, but for today, Blaine didn’t seem to be the target. The slushie was feinted his direction, but Azimio kept going, straight to Kurt’s locker. “Here’s a gift, loser!” The words were just enough to get Kurt to pop his head up in time for the slushie to find it’s way directly into his face, blue ice dripping down pale skin.

Blaine let his locker slam behind him as he rushed over. “Time to return the favor,” he quipped, steering Kurt towards the nearby bathroom. As soon as they were inside, Blaine grabbed a handful of paper towels. He passed half of them to Kurt and wet the rest in the sink. By the time he’d wrung out the excess water, Kurt had cleaned off the worst of the ice chunks with the dry towels.

Blaine leaned in, wiping a wet piece of towel along Kurt’s forehead and down his cheek. It was only once he’d started that he realized how unintentionally intimate the gesture was. Kurt’s eyes were so close, and distractingly beautiful even with the red tinge that the irritation of the dye was bringing out in them. Blaine pulled back quickly, a blush coloring his cheeks. “Sorry! Here. I should just- here.” He thrust the rest of the damp towels toward Kurt awkwardly.

Kurt laughed softly, taking them. “Thanks.” Blaine got an amused look for his fumbling as Kurt peered in the mirror, working on cleaning off his face and shirt. “Damn it. This shirt is new. I just found it at a second hand shop.” He unbuttoned the top two buttons, grabbing another towel to clean off a bit of blue ice that had started to slide underneath.

“Do you need me to go get you a clean one?” Blaine asked, taking his lead in this situation from what Kurt had done for him back in the first week of school.

Kurt sighed. “No. I don’t have gym today, so I took my clothes home to wash. I usually have an extra outfit in my locker, but I already changed once today.” Bitterness crept into his voice as he continued, “What made today special enough to celebrate by tormenting me? First the dumpster now this,” Kurt gestured toward his soaked and stained button down. “I’ll either have to go to class in it or cut and drive home to change.”

“Or-” Blaine hesitated again, unsure how Kurt might take the offer, “I mean, I think we’re close enough in size.”

“Close enough in size for what, Blaine?” Kurt asked with arched eyebrows.

“I’ve got a clean shirt in my backpack. I could go get it for you if you’d like? It’s just a t-shirt, so I know it wouldn’t be your style, but at least it would fit.” Blaine forced himself to stop. Kurt was a friend. There was no reason to be blushing and babbling. Not even when Kurt still looked that good upset and covered in slushie. No. He didn’t have time in his life or room in his plans for a crush, certainly not now when he was barely managing to hold everything together as it was.

Kurt didn’t really need time to think about that offer. “That would be great, Blaine. I think I can handle not being up to my usual fashion standards for a day if it means not walking around sticky and smelling more and more like fake blueberries.”

Blaine let out a burst of slightly hysterical laughter. “Imagine if you smelled like that and ended up sitting by someone who was high or something.”

“Oh lord. I would end up smelling like awfully fake food and sitting right next to Stoner Brett with the munchies. That would be just my luck.” Kurt pulled the front of his shirt as far away from his skin as he could, giving it a disgusted look.

“That would be,” Blaine paused, searching for the right word, “interesting. I’m glad I have a spare shirt to save you from that. Let me just,” he waved toward the door, “go get it.”

Blaine pushed through the door, heading into the by now empty hallway with a shake of his head. What was he doing? He needed to get rid of this fluttery feeling he’d had in the pit of his stomach since he’d gotten so much into Kurt’s space. He could not afford to develop a crush on someone whose friendship he was coming to need so much. And anything more than a crush? That was completely out of the question. It was going to hurt enough already to leave behind all the friends he was making in the midst of the horror that was McKinley High. There was no way he could face leaving behind a boyfriend. That was completely off the table.

Blaine pressed his forehead once again to the cool metal of his locker, letting it settle him back into his skin. He couldn’t stall too long, stuck here thinking, though. Kurt would be wondering what happened. Blaine straightened up, spinning the combination lock into the right places so that he could grab the worn t-shirt out of his book bag.

By the time he made his way back into the bathroom, Kurt had thoroughly scrubbed his face clean of any remaining traces of slushie.

“I wish now that I’d packed a nicer shirt,” Blaine said self-consciously as he offered the t-shirt out to Kurt.

Kurt took it, rubbing hand over the soft fabric. “At least t-shirts get comfier with age. I’ll just-” Kurt gestured toward one of the stalls, ducking inside.

Blaine glanced around the slightly grungy bathroom, trying to figure out what to busy himself with as Kurt tossed his dirty shirt up to rest over the top of the stall door. “Do you want me to rinse that out for you? Your shirt, I mean?”

“Oh, no. I’ll get it in a moment. I want to make sure it gets blotted properly.” Kurt pushed the stall door back open giving himself a wry look in the mirror. “Well, at least it’s clean, even if it’s not the fashion statement I meant to make today.”

Blaine gave Kurt a quick look over, trying to avoid thoughts of how well his tight pants fit him. Instead he joked, “What, you didn’t plan on pinstriped pants and an old Spencerville Middle School t-shirt together? That’s not what they’re sending down the runways these days?”

“Decidedly no.” Kurt started the water in one of the sinks, wetting another paper towel to blot at the slushie on his shirt. “Thank you for being my knight in shining armor today.”

“Isn’t that the pact we have as the only two out students in this school? We have to band together against all the bullies, help each other get through this, right?” Blaine pushed his hands down into his pockets, suddenly aware that he was just staring at Kurt, with nothing else to do to help. “Besides, you did do pretty much the same thing for me before you even knew me.”

* * *

 

Kurt wasn’t expecting to see his father already sitting in the living room when he got home that day. He knew glee had run long, working on a performance Mr. Schue wanted them to do for an assembly, as if the last one had gone so well. He just hadn’t realized that it had gone late enough that his father might beat him home.

Kurt hung up his coat in the closet by the door, pausing long enough at the door of the living room to see that a football game was on the TV. “Hi Dad. Sorry I’m late. It was a glee thing. I’ll get supper started in a minute.”

“Not a problem.” Burt turned, giving Kurt raised eyebrows for his outfit. “Where’d you get that t-shirt? You never went to school in Spencerville.”

“Oh- It’s, um, Blaine’s.” Kurt paused for just a moment to come up with a believable lie. “I spilled sauce on my shirt at lunch, and he loaned it to me.”

“Blaine?” Burt turned in his chair to face Kurt. “Who’s that?”

“He’s a new student, started at McKinley about a month ago.” Kurt tried to keep his smile at talking about Blaine under wraps. This was silly. He liked Finn. Talking about Finn was supposed to give him these fluttery feelings, not the very mention of Blaine. “He’s in glee with me.”

“Oh. Well, that’s great. I’m glad to see you making friends in that club of yours, Kurt,” Burt offered honestly.

“Me, too.” Kurt didn’t stop the too wide smile from spreading at that. Having friends at school, not being alone all day, was still too new not to be wonderful, even on a day when the rest of the student body had shown just how differently they felt. “I’m going to go down and get changed then I’ll start supper. Promise.”

“It’s no problem. The game’s on. I don’t mind supper being late,” Burt said, turning his gaze back the TV as Kurt darted down to his basement bedroom.

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

“I can’t believe it’s already Thanksgiving this week,” Mercedes said as she sat her lunch tray down across from Blaine at the table that the less popular glee kids had claimed in the lunchroom.

“Extra days off from school? Yes, please,” Kurt replied, taking the seat beside her. “I just need to finish looking up a few more recipes for using all our leftover turkey. It’s just going to be Dad and I, but I refuse to let us go without a traditional Thanksgiving meal with all the fixings.”

“We’re going to Cleveland to my grandparents,” Tina said with a sigh. “Every year there are more and more little cousins. I mean, I like kids, but I feel like I’m getting too old to be stuck at the kiddie table with the five year olds. I’m pretty sure they only leave me there to help take care of all of them.”

“I’ve got family coming into town. There won’t be a moment’s peace in my house this weekend. Thanksgiving will be fun, but by Sunday I bet I’ll be wishing they’d all just stayed at a hotel,” Mercedes looked over her tray of cafeteria pizza at Blaine. “What do you and Rachel have planned?”

Blaine shrugged, “I’m not totally sure. I think the Berrys are having people over for lunch.” That seemed safe enough. It was certainly better than letting them know how much he envied even the plans they were dreading. Kurt’s quiet Thanksgiving with just a dad who loved him. Tina and Mercedes time with family they fit in with. All of it sounded better than what he was decidedly not looking forward to: a day full of people he’d never met, trying to either stay out of the way or having to interact awkwardly with a who were just pretending he was suddenly part of the family.

* * *

 

Blaine hadn’t been at all sure what to expect from Thanksgiving weekend beyond four days off of school. Holidays in general were some of his least favorite days. He knew that they were supposed to be special, but it was hard to really enjoy a day created for families when you didn’t have one to speak of. Instead they made for days spent awkwardly interacting with extended families he wasn’t part of and usually had never meant, a time to be even more aware of his outsider status. Blaine hadn’t really expected that Thanksgiving to be any different.

Breakfast that morning was spread out on the table when Blaine got up. He filled his plate with toast and scrambled eggs, taking his usual spot as he watched Hiram and Leroy in the kitchen. “Do you have something you need me to do?” Blaine offered. “I don’t know all that much about cooking, but I can chop things up or mix things?”

“We’ve got this under control. I’ll have you and Rachel get the folding table up and get everything set closer to time, but for now, why don’t you finish eating and then see if the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade is on TV yet,” Leroy said, pausing long enough to answer Blaine with a bright smile.

“You and that parade.” Hiram shook his head, opening the oven to put a casserole dish in beside a relatively small turkey.

“It’s a tradition. One of these years, we’re going to make it back out to New York to see it in person again,” Leroy promised reaching around his husband for a large, metal spoon.

“Maybe when Rachel moves there for college. It would be a good excuse for all of us to go visit her,” Hiram decided, stepping back to survey their work.

Blaine grabbed a jar of jelly, focusing on spreading it over his toast, unsure of what to say to that. Hiram talking like he’d still be with them in three years was too good to be true. After a moment of quiet, Blaine chose changing the subject as the best course of action. “How many guests are you expecting today?” From the amount of food in the kitchen and the addition of an extra table, Blaine was sure that there must be quite a few.

“Oh, I think…” Hiram trailed off, calculating it mentally, “eight or ten more. Neither of us have family in Lima, but we’ve sort of made our own over the years.”

“And the Katz’s have three teenagers, so there should be someone for you and Rachel to talk to.” Leroy moved to the refrigerator pulling out a package with a quick glance to Hiram. “Have you looked at the instructions for Rachel’s tofurkey yet? How long do we have to cook this?”

“It only needs about an hour in the oven. We’ll put it in about noon. Oh Rachel! It’s good to see you.” Hiram leaned in to press a kiss to Rachel’s cheek as she walked by, already dressed for the day.

“I still don’t see why everyone shouldn’t share in the tofurkey.” Rachel wrapped an arm around her father for a quick squeeze of a hug before she made her way to the table, avoiding the eggs in favor of toast and fruit. “The animals should be able to give thanks today, too.”

“We’ll give thanks for the gift this turkey gave us,” Leroy joked.

“That’s not the point,” Rachel said with a roll of her eyes. She turned to Blaine beside her, pulling her phone out of her pocket. “Oh! Kurt texted me. He wanted to know if you wanted to go do some Black Friday shopping with him tomorrow.”

“Oooh. How brave are you feeling?” Hiram stuck his head out of the kitchen to give Blaine a teasing smile at that. “Black Friday shopping should be quite the experience.”

“I am sure Kurt is an expert,” Rachel said. “I’d consider going, but I already bought all my Hanukkah gifts, so I’d rather avoid the crowds.”

Blaine gulped. Hanukkah gifts. He hadn’t even thought of that. He was going to need them for at least Rachel, Hiram, and Leroy, and he was going to need them sooner than he’d need Christmas ones. Gifts had been hit or miss depending on the year in foster homes he’d been in before, but he was sure that wouldn’t be the case here. “Can you let Kurt know that I’m interested? I mean, if it’s alright for me to go.”

“Of course it is.” Hiram gave Blaine one last smile before he turned back to his cooking, working around Leroy with the grace of years of practice sharing the space together. “Today is for family, but tomorrow is a great time to go have fun with your friends. Kurt’s a nice boy. Just don’t let the two of you get trampled. I’d hate to have to try to explain that to Justin.”

* * *

 

The food was more traditional than Blaine had expected the Berrys to serve for Thanksgiving, mostly traditional dishes like turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes aside from Rachel’s tofurkey. The crowd, however, was not nearly so traditional. Instead of extended families, the Berrys seemed to have invited a colorful group of friends and their families, including another gay couple and a family with two mothers, which turned out to be the family with teenagers.

The big benefit of such a diverse group, as far as Blaine could tell, was that his presence in the family had been accepted at face value, as if suddenly having another teenager in the family was a perfectly normal thing.

After dinner was eaten, dishes were done, and the leftovers were put away, the whole group filled the basement for the first Thanksgiving Blaine had ever celebrated without watching a football game. Instead, games of a different sort were being played. A big group game of Pictionary was apparently as much of a tradition as the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Hiram had set up an easel with a large pad of paper on it in the middle of the stage and divided the group into three, mostly along family lines. When Blaine had heard the idea, he admittedly hadn’t been too impressed, but it had turned out to be a good time.

Leroy might have been a great musician, but his drawing skills definitely left something to be desired.

“Is that a talking hat?” Blaine leaned forward on the couch he was sharing with Rachel and Hiram as if being a few inches closer would allow him a better view of the already good sized picture.

“A mule?” Rachel sounded completely perplexed as she called out possibilities. “Or a donkey? Oh, a magnifying glass. Are they lighting things on fire?”

“Clue? Tim Curry? Christopher Lloyd?” Hiram guessed.

The buzzer sounding made Blaine jump, bringing an end to the round, and their chances of scoring the family a few points. “

“It was Sherlock Holmes.” Leroy sounded vaguely exasperated. “The hat? The magnifying glass.”

“Oh. Right. Well, you know how much I love Clue. I would have preferred Tim Curry,” Hiram said with a nonchalant shrug.

“You’d always prefer Tim Curry,” Leroy grumped good naturedly as he made his way back over to sink down beside his husband.

Blaine didn’t even bother to try to hold back his laugh at that. Being part of this family today felt good. The whole vibe of the room was enough to allow him to relax and just enjoy the day. As much as he’d dreaded it, it was turning out to be one of the best holidays Blaine had celebrated in a long time.

* * *

 

“Are you ready for this?” Kurt asked, with a grin on his face as Blaine climbed into the passenger seat of his SUV.

“I’m not sure my eyes are even open,” Blaine grumbled tiredly. As soon as his seatbelt was fastened, he shifted, leaning his head against the cold window. “Why did I agree to this?”

“Because it’s going to be fun?” Kurt suggested. “Or you have shopping you needed to do? Or you just missed me over Thanksgiving break.”

Blaine knew that the last option was supposed to be a joke, but he couldn’t help but think about how dangerously true that was. He couldn’t let this relationship grow into something he couldn’t afford to lose. He knew this. He shouldn’t have to remind himself of it so often. Instead, he forced a laugh. “I do have shopping that I need to do. I have to find Hanukkah gifts for the Berrys. I hadn’t even thought about needing them until Rachel mentioned having her shopping done.”

“That’s pretty much like finding Christmas presents right? I’m looking for something perfect for my dad. And maybe just the right thing to buy for my dad to give to me,” Kurt turned for a quick smile before his eyes were back on the dark road. “I find that I’m more likely to get something I’ll like if I buy it myself, especially when it comes to clothes.”

“You do have better clothes sense than anyone I think I’ve ever met,” Blaine agreed. “I don’t know how anyone else would be expected to keep up.”

“Not in Lima at least. When I graduate, I’m going to find my way to somewhere where there are people to appreciate my fashion sense.” Kurt pulled up to a stop sign, waiting for a car to cross the almost deserted road before he pulled out, leaving the residential neighborhood for a larger street.

“I appreciate your fashion,” Blaine said, letting his eyes drift closed as he spoke. “I could never pull it off myself, but I appreciate it on you.”

“Thank you, Blaine. I knew there was a reason I keep you around,” Kurt teased dryly.

* * *

 

“I can’t believe you bought Rachel a sweater with a snowman on the front,” Kurt said with a shake of his head as he browsed through a rack of men’s vests.

“She’ll love it,” Blaine leaned against the metal pole of a rack of button down shirts. “And you’ve said that at least a dozen times already.”

“And yet I still find myself in a state of disbelief.” Kurt pulled a black, pinstriped vest out, holding it up to himself and turning to look in a nearby mirrored column.

“That would look good on you,” Blaine offered, hoping it would be taken in the platonic spirit he was trying to make it. “And besides, did you see the sale on that Rachel’s sweater?”

“Cheap does not always equal a good choice,” Kurt replied. “Anyway, it’s Black Friday. Most of this is on sale.” He gestured to the room at large before draping the vest over his arm. “I’ll try it on. Have you thought about what to get Mr. Berry?”

“Which one?” Blaine asked, forcing himself to stand up straighter. He walked toward a table to different ties.

“Either? Both?” Kurt walked up beside Blaine to pick up a red tie, holding it to Blaine’s neck. “This would look good on you. Do you own any ties?”

“I have one. It’s just a plain navy tie, though.” Blaine took the tie, running his hand over the soft silk. He laid it neatly back out on the table, reaching for a navy and red striped bowtie. He draped it around his neck, turning to look into the mirror. “I’ve always wondered what I’d look like in one of these.”

“I bet it would look dashing on you. You could definitely pull off the preppiness or even go really old school Hollywood.” Kurt stepped back to give Blaine a long look over. “Can I pick out an outfit for you? You don’t have to buy it, just try it on.”

Blaine hesitated for just a second before he agreed, “I suppose. I do really like the sweater you convinced me to get.”

Kurt pulled the untied bowtie from around Blaine’s neck. “I’m going to start with this. Stay here. I’ll be back.” He turned with a grin, striding off with renewed purpose into the men’s department.

Blaine occupied his time as he waited looking through all the rows of accessories before coming back to the tables of ties. He stroked the soft silk of one before pulling over a bowtie in the same color scheme, comparing the two. “Maybe for Hiram and Leroy?” He suggested as Kurt came back over, arms draped with an amount of clothes that must be more than one outfit.

“Oh, I think they’d like that. They seem like men that would find romance in matching rather than find it cheesy,” Kurt agreed.

“They might actually like it better if they found it cheesy.” Blaine piled them together. “There’s even a good sale if I buy two. Perfect. Hanukkah shopping complete.” He turned to give all the clothes Kurt was holding a wide eyed look. “I thought you said one outfit?”

“But there were so many great choices. I really feel like this is a good chance to determine your personal style,” Kurt said, leading the way toward the changing room. “Besides, I love a good makeover.”

“I can’t afford to have a personal style.” Blaine followed along despite his words of worry. “And I don’t just mean that monetarily. I get shoved into enough lockers at school without sticking out even more.” He froze, suddenly afraid of how Kurt would take that. “I mean, not that it’s bad that you choose clothes that don’t fit in.”

“I know, Blaine. Not everyone can have this fabulous of fashion sense.” Kurt drawled, shoving his pile of clothes over at Blaine. “I grouped outfits together, and I expect to see them once you change.”

“Yes, sir,” Blaine quipped before heading back to a changing room.

Once inside, Blaine hung up the clothes, pausing to stare at himself in the mirror. Would it be worth taking a risk and dressing in a way that stood out more? He thought he looked okay today in jeans and a maroon henley, even with the black and silver brace over his knee. But Kurt had looked so excited to help Blaine discover his sense of personal style, that Blaine couldn’t say no. It was just trying things on.

He turned away, unfastening the brace from his knee and setting it on the chair inside the room. He was allowed to walk short distances without it now, but it still felt like a risk, as if he might have it go out from under him on the way to the bathroom in the night or here in the changing room. And how would he explain that to Kurt?

Blaine pushed the thought aside as he pulled on the first outfit Kurt had chosen. It was something Kurt would choose with pants tight enough that it was a struggle to pull them up and a sweater that fell to his knees. Blaine turned to look at himself in the mirror and wrinkled his nose. “This is not it,” he murmured to himself. He’d promised Kurt that he’d show him though, so Blaine walked out into the hallway of the changing room anyway.

“I can already tell by the expression on your face that this isn’t the one,” Kurt said before Blaine even had the chance to open his mouth. “Next. Try those pants with the polo instead.”

“I think this is a little more you than me.” Blaine gave Kurt a grateful smile for how easy he made it to move on and stepped back into the changing room.

The next outfit was better. Blaine took time to stare at himself in the mirror. It wasn’t that different from what he’d worn to school before, but the cut of the items fit differently. Instead of hanging off his small frame, they hugged it. It looked better than he’d expected, and he couldn’t help but turn to check out how the pants made his ass look.

He must have looked happier when he stepped out into the corridor, because Kurt noticed, pulling out his camera phone. “You look much more at home in that, and it looks really good on you. What do you think?”

Blaine ran his hands down along his stomach and over his thighs. “It looks like something I would have worn before but, uh, tighter.”

“That’s because most high school boys wear things way too loose. This simply fits.” Kurt snapped a picture. “So we can reference it later,” he explained.

Blaine was pretty sure the pants were too tight to say that they merely fit, but he just nodded. It didn’t seem worth the battle. “I like how it looks. It’s just different, not what I’m used to.”

“Maybe you should be,” Kurt said, giving Blaine one last look over before he made a shooing gesture back toward Blaine’s changing room. “Let’s see the next one.”

It took a little longer for the next look, because Blaine had to shimmy out of those tight pants. Getting them off without jarring his healing knee was more of a process than he was used to. The next pair were fitted, but not as skin tight. Dark red pants were paired with a button down shirt and a navy sweater vest. Blaine wasn’t surprised to find the bowtie he’d liked with it, but he was a little bit surprised to see how much he liked the way he looked in it when he turned toward the mirror. The outfit was definitely preppy, but that was exactly why he liked it. It was something he could imagine wearing in some vague future, one where he didn’t go to high school in Ohio.

“That’s the one, isn’t it?” Kurt said when he saw Blaine’s face in that outfit. “But why didn’t you tie the bowtie? Do you need help?”

“Won’t I get in trouble for that? Are we really supposed to tie them here? It could leave creases,” Blaine worried.

Kurt waved away those thoughts, leaning into Blaine’s personal space to start to tie it. “It’ll be fine. They’re so busy today that no one is probably even going to notice. It’s not like we’re going to shoplift it.”

Blaine didn’t pull back, but he did give Kurt an anxious look. “I don’t know about that. I mean, I’m currently wearing red pants. I’m kind of visible here.”

“In the best possible way. You look wonderful. This preppy look suits you.” As soon as the tie was finished, Kurt stepped back, reaching again for his phone. “And I definitely need a reference picture for this. Smile.”

Blaine pushed aside his nerves to give Kurt a smile that conveyed the excited feeling he’d felt on first looking into the mirror. “This was fun. I’ll just go change back, though. It’s- I can’t just buy any of it.” Blaine shut his changing room door behind him and sank back against it for a moment.

“Maybe when you’re buying clothes in the future, you can keep it in mind,” Kurt suggested through the door.

“I don’t always get that much of a say in that,” Blaine pointed out, turning to stare at himself in the mirror. As much as this felt like a false promise, Blaine couldn’t bring himself to start quickly stripping off this outfit. Instead he could take a moment longer to pretend that this was him. That he was the person who got to wear these clothes instead of his closet full of the few things the Berrys had bought him mixed with the array of worn clothing that the Marshall’s had considered appropriate for him to keep.

“I can’t imagine Mr. Berry wouldn’t want you to pick the kind of clothes you like. I mean, both of them support Rachel’s abhorrent fashion choices, and I’m sure they know that is not on the fashion mark,” Kurt continued through the door.

“Maybe. But I won’t always be with Hiram and Leroy.” Blaine gave the mirror one last look and turned away, changing back into his own clothes. This was just a dream he’d save for another day. When he was an adult, through college with his yet undetermined dream job, then he’d be able to buy whatever clothes he liked. He just had to keep faith and keep working for that day to come, for many reasons beyond his wardrobe.

* * *

 

 

Walking into the choir room at the end of the day was a relief. Not that things inside couldn’t be crazy, but nothing inside ever went past an argument. It was the one place in school where no one was going to throw a slushie or slurs at him for being different. He might not always be confident enough to actually get up and sing for the week’s assignment, but he was managing more and more performances as time went on.

Today, Blaine stopped at the door and stared. “Holy cow,” he murmured. It looked like Christmas was in the process of throwing up all over the room. Piles of garland and lights were everywhere, and a disassembled fake tree sat in the center of the room.

Brittany looked up from the pile of branches, sliding one into the pole of the artificial tree. “Santa needs our help to get everything ready,” she said seriously.

Blaine just nodded, frozen in the doorway until Kurt stepped up beside him and glanced around the room. “Ooh, interior design. This is right up my alley.”

“Alright everyone! We’ve been asked to put together some holiday songs for an assembly coming up, and I thought that decorating the room might get us in the right spirit,” Mr. Schue said, walking out of his office into the choir room.

“Can we have at least one song about Hanukkah, because I don’t even see a menorah in all this mess?” Puck asked. “I mean, like three of us are Jewish. That’s like a third, right?”

“Three?” Rachel questioned, picking up a string of metallic silver garland to wrap around her neck. “Who’s the third?” She turned without waiting for the answer to face Schue. “Noah is right, though. We should have at least one Hanukkah song to represent the non-Christian students in this school, even if his math skills are sorely lacking.”

“I thought that’s what Santa was for, instead of singing about Baby Jesus?” Finn asked, kneeling down to help Brittany with the Christmas tree.

“Well there’s you and me, and I figured that since Blaine lives with you now, that between him and Tina that must make another whole Jew,” Puck told Rachel.

Blaine raised his hand to try to set Puck straight and then dropped it. What was the point?

“I’ll take that into consideration for our set list,” Mr. Schue placated. “Now, besides getting the room decorated today, I want all of you to think of a holiday song that we could perform. So wow us with a Hanukkah song, Rachel, and maybe we’ll sing it.”

“I’ll consult my fathers tonight on the best song selection to properly represent our heritage,” Rachel assured Puck.

“Come on,” Kurt leaned in to whisper. “Let’s leave them to figure that out and go hang some lights.”

* * *

 

Kurt led Blaine down into his basement bedroom, flinging his arms out wide. “This is my humble abode. How do you like it?”

Blaine turned at the bottom of the steps to take it all in. “You have so much space. And this is very you.”

“Thanks! I had a lot of fun decorating it,” Kurt walked over to take a seat on the side of his bed. “Do you want to watch a movie? Or listen to some music? We could try to find songs for Glee?”

“I think I’ve already heard enough Christmas music in my life that this week I don’t need to listen to a bunch of songs to have an idea what to sing,” Blaine replied.

“So you’re choosing a Christmas song? Not a Hanukkah one?” Kurt asked curiously, leaning down to start unlacing his boots.

Blaine glanced around the room for a moment and pulled out a chair from underneath the sewing machine. He spun it around backward to take a seat. “No. I’m learning a lot about Judaism living with the Berrys, but it’s not my religion. I don’t know that I really have one, but there are lots of good Christmas songs about things other than Jesus. Snow and Santa both seem like safe topics. I might even be able to handle reindeer.”

“Huh,” Kurt stood, padding in just socks over to his closet to stow his boots away properly. “I guess I always just kind of assumed that since you live with Rachel, you must be Jewish. At least until Glee earlier.”

“I’m not sure whether Justin even considers religion at all when he decides where to place kids.” Blaine stretched his legs out in front of him, flexing his knee inside it’s brace. It seemed to be healing well, but after a long day of school and glee, it ached. “Actually, I’m pretty sure he cared more about the fact that we’re all gay when he put me with the Berrys. Well, not Rachel as far as I know. He’d just found out that my last foster family was kind of homophobic and jumped off the deep end the other way.”

“Maybe he thought you could all be fabulous together,” Kurt joked, coming back to bounce on the edge of his bed. “Seeing the two of them gives me hope. I mean if they could find each other and build a life here, then I should be able to do it in whatever big city I end up in.”

“I guess that’s true. It’s nice having people that understand that part of my life and what it’s like, at least,” Blaine said.

“It would be. My dad is trying, but I know this isn’t what he really expected from a son. He’s started dating Finn’s mom, and sometimes I feel like he’d rather have Finn than me. They have so much more in common. Dad and I try, but sometimes it’s like we’re having two different conversations,” Kurt confided, laying back on his bed to stare up at the ceiling.

“Finn’s mom? I’m not sure if that would be nice or awkward.” Blaine slid the chair closer. “It must be tough, seeing the two of them together.”

“It is, and it isn’t. I didn’t think I’d be jealous of Finn, but why wouldn’t Dad like him better?” Kurt asked.

“Because you’re his son? That’s how it’s supposed to work.” Blaine knew all too well how that could ring untrue, but he also knew that that wasn’t always the case, at least theoretically.

“Let’s watch a Christmas movie.” Kurt changed the subject entirely, popping back up to grab his laptop off his desk. “Something classic and wonderful.”

“Alright.” Blaine wasn’t about to push for more information, not when it meant the same thing could happen in return. “Whatever you want.”

Kurt took a look at a row of DVDs for a moment before he grabbed one. He settled back on the bed, patting the spot beside him. “You should come up here. It’ll be easier to see the screen.”

Blaine just nodded mutely, kicking off his own shoes before he climbed up on the bed, making sure to leave more distance between himself and Kurt than he really wanted to.

* * *

 

“Hey, Kurt, how do you feel about ordering pizza for dinner?” Burt Hummel stepped onto the landing at the top of Kurt’s staircase.

Kurt reached out to pause the movie. “Pizza sounds great, Dad. I’ve got a friend from school over. Can he stay for dinner?”

Burt stepped more fully into the room, looking Blaine up and down. “I don’t think you’ve introduced this one.”

Blaine felt like he was under the microscope, feeling even more out of place by the fact that he was sprawled across half of Kurt’s bed. He fought the urge to jump up and climb out of it. That would look even more suspicious.

“This is Blaine. Blaine, my dad, Burt Hummel. I’m sure I’ve mentioned him before. Blaine’s in glee club with me,” Kurt explained, sitting up straighter, but looking not a bit uncomfortable with the situation.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Hummel,” Blaine said politely, forcing a smile onto his face.

“Oh, so you’re Blaine.” The curious look on Mr. Hummel’s face made Blaine worry about just exactly what and how much Kurt had said about him.

Kurt blushed. “Dad!” He recovered quickly with a change back to the original subject. “So, can Blaine stay for dinner or not?”

Burt chuckled at Kurt’s reaction and then nodded, “Sure, as long as it’s okay with his parents. Anything you hate on your pizza, Blaine?”

Blaine shook his head. “I’ll eat pretty much anything,” Blaine answered truthfully. “Can I use your phone?”

“You can use mine. Will you call us when the pizza get here, Dad? We have a movie to finish,” Kurt said.

* * *

 

After dinner, Kurt drove Blaine the handful of miles home. He walked back in the door afterward to find Burt waiting for him at the kitchen table. “Sit down, Kurt.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong,” Kurt covered quickly, taking a seat across from his father. “I thought I was allowed to have friends over as long as I still get my schoolwork done.”

“You are,” Burt admitted. He crossed his arms on the table, considering his next words carefully. “Do I need to have a talk next time Blaine’s over about his intentions? I’m not sure how to handle this whole boy thing.”

“First of all, Blaine’s a friend,” Kurt retorted. “Secondly, why would it be any different than talking to Finn about a girl?”

“Because it is. You know it is,” Burt shifted uncomfortably. “How do you expect me to believe that you’re just friends when you look at him the way you used to look at Finn?”

Kurt sputtered. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said defensively.

“Sure you don’t. Is this Blaine kid at least gay?” Burt asked.

“He is. But really, we’re just friends,” Kurt insisted.

“Good. I mean, it’s good for you to have someone to talk to about… things.” Burt tapped a finger on the table. “You just be careful to watch out for your heart, and his, too.”

“There’s no need for that.” Kurt stood. “And at least you never have to worry about any pregnancy scares with me. Can I go?”

“I suppose. It was nice to meet your friend.” Burt fell silent for long enough that Kurt started to walk away before he spoke up again, catching Kurt at the door. “I’m really happy for you, Kurt. I know how lonely you’ve been the last few years. It’s nice to see you having friends over. I’m glad that joining that glee club has worked out, even if it’s not quite the team I’d imagined.”

Kurt turned around to give his dad a quick smile, “Me, too.”

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

Eight nights of gifts was more than Blaine had ever experienced before. All of Hanukkah was yet another new experience. It wasn’t just eight nights of gifts, or even eight nights of candles. It was eight nights of family dinners and togetherness. A month or two ago, Blaine would have found it stifling or awkward. That wasn’t so today. It was amazing how much had changed in just two months.

So far, all of Blaine’s gifts had been clothes, one or two articles per night. It had made the gifts easier to accept that they were practical things that Blaine could use. He had no idea how they’d known about his fashion consultation with Kurt, but there was no way that it hadn’t influenced those choices. He was pretty sure that the second night, he’d even received the exact same pair of dark red pants that he’d tried on that day.

Rachel’s gifts had varied from the practical, like Blaine’s, to things like sheet music and a pair of gold star earrings. By consensus, they’d saved their gifts for Hiram and Leroy and the gifts for each other until tonight, the eighth night. After dinner was finished and dishes were clean, they gathered back together around the dinner table with the menorah in the center. Blaine didn’t understand the words spoken as Rachel lit all eight candles, but he enjoyed the ritual of it. He wasn’t sure that he really believed in the miracle of the lamp in the temple burning for eight nights, but he was still enjoying the holiday.

When the ritual was finished, presents were passed around. Blaine had never been part of a family that opened presents at the dining table, but then again, he’d never been part of a family that did so many of the things that the Berrys did. He’d really stopped being surprised by most of it.

Blaine started with the present Rachel passed him, looking down at it with confusion as soon as he opened it. “This is really nice, Rachel, but I don’t have phone.” He turned the phone cover over to see a wave of music notes covering it.

“Oh, well you opened them out of order,” Rachel said airily, holding the sweater Blaine chose up to herself. “Oh! This is soft, and it’s perfect for the winter. Very festive, but not Christmas-y.”

It took a moment for Rachel’s words to sink in. “What?” Blaine grabbed for the other box in front of him, ripping the blue and silver striped paper off to the sound of Hiram’s laughter. He stared down at the smartphone box in his hand dumbly, unsure what to even say.

“It didn’t cost much at all each month to add a line onto our plan, so we thought you’d like that,” Hiram said, raising his eyebrows. “You do like it, don’t you?”

“I- It’s wonderful. Thank you,” Blaine breathed.

“You’re a high schooler. We thought it might be easier to talk to your friends if you had a phone,” Leroy added. “Plus, it will make it easier for us to contact you if we need to.”

“We’ll talk about the rules of it later, because we do have some limits to what you can do on it,” Hiram said.

Blaine just nodded, accepting that easily as he opened the box. “Can I go start this charging?”

* * *

 

The eighth night of Hannukkah fell on a Saturday, which made it an even better night for some family time. It wasn’t like he or Rachel was going to have a date, after all, and homework could easily wait until Sunday.

Instead, they’d settled down in the family room to watch some movies. Hiram had decided that Blaine needed an education in the golden era of Hollywood films, and one movie down, Blaine couldn’t help but agree. Sitting on the couch sandwiched between Leroy and Rachel would have felt awkward when he’d first moved in, but it was starting to feel dangerously natural.

When the end credits started on the screen, Leroy stood with a comment about popcorn, heading into the kitchen. Hiram left for the bathroom, and Blaine followed Leroy, excited to see if his new cell phone had enough charge yet to set it up. He grabbed it off the counter, snagging the instruction manual and bringing both back to his spot on the couch.

He’d just gotten it turned on when Rachel snatched it out of her hands. “Give that back!” Blaine’s tone was louder than he’d really meant it to be as he grabbed for the phone.

“I’m just helping.” Rachel slid across the couch and pulled the phone out of his reach, opening the contacts.

Blaine clenched his fists, fighting back the impulse to hit her and grab it. No matter how nice the Berrys might seem, he knew that was a line he couldn’t cross, even if he was suddenly seeing red. “If I want your help, I’ll ask for it. Give me the damn phone!” Blaine yelled.

That pulled Leroy out of the kitchen. “Blaine, language,” he corrected automatically before looking between the two of them. His gaze froze on Blaine’s face for a moment before he asked, “What in the world is going on in here?”

“She took my phone,” Blaine accused angrily.

“I was just trying to add our friends into Blaine’s contacts. I thought he might like to have some of their numbers, but then he just freaked out,” Rachel sniffed. “It wasn’t like I was going to steal it. I have my own phone, thank you very much.”

Leroy glanced between the two of them and made the quick decision to separate them before things had the chance to blow up any further. “Rachel give Blaine back his phone and go to your room. Blaine, stay right there.”

The noise of Rachel stalking down the hallway and slamming her door brought Hiram onto the scene, giving Leroy a look that clearly said, ‘What in the world?’

“Rachel took Blaine’s phone to add some numbers in, I’m guessing without asking or telling you why?” Leroy turned midsentence from filling Hiram in to getting more information from Blaine.

Blaine nodded mutely. Now that the situation had passed, his anger was quickly fading away to be replaced by a crushing wave of anxiety. He’d managed to screw up again, on a holiday no less. What was going to happen now? What kind of damage had been done?

Blaine could feel his breathing speed up, but he couldn’t seem to do anything about it. His hands were shaking so much that he dropped the phone into the cushions of the couch before he could accidentally drop it on the hard floor instead. His heart was pounding in his chest with a ferocity that, if he hadn’t felt this before, would have made him worry that he was having a heart attack. He didn’t even notice Leroy walking over to the couch until he was kneeling on the ground in front of Blaine.

“You’re alright. Just relax and breathe slowly with me.” Leroy’s words were soothing through the haze of fear and worry covering Blaine. “We’re not mad. Rachel will get over it soon enough. Everything is going to be alright.”

“Well, we’re not mad at Blaine.” Hiram’s voice penetrated the fog as if from far away. “I’m going to go have a chat with her.”

Blaine couldn’t have told anyone exactly what Leroy said next, but the soothing tone of his voice slowly seeped into Blaine’s bones helping him find his way back into a place where his brain was working rationally. He sank back on the couch trying to stop the tears from flowing.

Leroy shifted to sit beside Blaine, wrapping an arm tentatively around Blaine’s shoulders. When Blaine responded by leaning into him instead of pulling away, Leroy tightened his grip. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Blaine shook his head against Leroy’s shoulder, another part of him relaxing with the physical comfort. It had been so rare in Blaine’s life that a part of him was always surprised with how nice it felt. After a moment of letting that warmth sink into his soul, Blaine answered with, “I messed up. I’m sorry I overreacted so much.”

Leroy waved it off. “We’re all human, Blaine. It’s alright to be angry sometimes. Do you know the number of times I yelled at my brothers and sisters growing up?”

“But it was such a nice evening, and now I’ve ruined it,” Blaine insisted.

Leroy gave Blaine one last squeeze and then stood, moving toward the TV. “It is not ruined. Besides, what’s a holiday without at least one fight? Why don’t you come help me decide what to watch next. I’m sure Hiram will be back soon, with or without Rachel.”

* * *

Hiram knocked once before he pushed the door of Rachel’s room open. He wasn’t really surprised to see her crying angrily into her pillow. There were just some things you came to expect after sixteen years of parenting a child. How they deal with fights and the possibility of getting in trouble was definitely one, even with a heretofore only child.

Hiram sat on the edge of her bed and reached out to rub a hand along Rachel’s back soothingly.

Rachel sniffled and spoke into her pillow. “Why did Dad send me to my room? Blaine was the one who yelled at me.”

“And you did nothing you shouldn’t have done? Blaine just started yelling with no provocation at all?” Hiram asked, his comforting stroking of his back belaying any harshness in the words.

Rachel sat up then, turning to face her father. “I was just trying to help. I don’t know why he got so mad. I thought he’d like to have his friends’ phone numbers. How will he text Kurt without it?”

Hiram leaned over to grab a box of tissues off of Rachel’s bedside table offering it out to her. “And I suppose you nicely asked him if he would like that help?”

“But why wouldn’t he?” Rachel asked, grabbing a handful of tissues to dry her eyes and blow her nose.

“Wouldn’t you get mad if someone grabbed something or yours without asking? Especially a new gift you’d just gotten?” Hiram answered with questions. “And then add to that not having had much all of your own in a long time. Wouldn’t you be protective of it?”

Rachel was quiet for a moment, grabbing another tissue to dab dramatically at her still puffy eyes. “I should have just offered to tell him the numbers, should I?”

“Or at least asked him if he wanted you to put them in,” Hiram agreed. He patted Rachel’s shoulder and then stood. “Why don’t you take some time to compose yourself and think about this. I’m sure we’ll still be out in the living room when you’re ready to apologize to Blaine and rejoin us. And for now, I’m going to go see if your father managed to finish the popcorn.”

* * *

“Leroy called me earlier this week to talk about some concerns,” Nate started off with as soon as Blaine had settled in an armchair.

“He told me.” Blaine drew his good knee up to his chest, wrapping his arm around it, closing himself off.

“Good. I don’t want there to be big secrets we keep from you. You’re too old for that to do anything but make you stop trusting us,” Nate said. “Now, do you want to tell me what happened?”

“The Berrys are Jewish, so last week were celebrating Hanukkah. It was nice. Different from what I’ve done before, which was honestly kind of good.” Blaine spoke freely. Nate’s office was the one place in his life where he finally felt safe to do so. “We spent a lot of family time together, and they actually had presents for me. Ones they’d picked out because they knew I’d like them. I mean, it was mostly clothes, but it was clearly picked out in styles they knew I’d like.” And Blaine still hadn’t stopped believing that Kurt had to have had some hand in that.

“That’s different from Christmas’s you’ve had in the past?” Nate asked gently.

“Since I’ve been in foster care, a lot of my Christmas presents have come from angel trees and the like. Or they’ve simply been things I needed, like a new pair of tennis shoes. Nothing that was picked out just for me.” Blaine pulled his knee in closer. “With my parents, it was all about keeping up appearances. I often got whatever the ‘it’ toy was for boys my age, because that was the easiest thing to walk into the store and pick out.”

“But that’s not how it went at the Berrys?” Nate prompted.

Blaine shook his head. “It wasn’t. And for the last night, they got me a cell phone. I can’t tell you how much that means. It’s not just that they trusted me enough to get me something so breakable, but it’s also just a piece of being normal, you know? Everyone else at school texts each other everything and lives on their phones. Not having one makes you stick out like a sore thumb when everyone else is making plans or continuing a conversation that had happened by text or online the night before. No one else had to have friends text their foster sister so that they could make plans. And now I don’t have to either. I can talk to my friends outside of school. I feel a little bit more like I fit in.”

“Well, that’s all great. I’m glad to hear that they recognized that need and filled it.” Nate leaned forward, crossing his legs. “But then why did Leroy need to talk to me?”

Blaine was pretty sure that Nate must have gotten the rest of the story from Leroy already, but he told it anyway. “I’d just gotten the phone charged up enough to turn on and set up, and Rachel grabbed it out of my hands. I got really mad and yelled at her, but she wouldn’t give it back.” Blaine flushed red, embarrassed in retrospect to have to admit as much. “Leroy heard me, and he broke up the fight and made Rachel give it back. But then it was like I just freaked out, and I couldn’t get control over myself. My heart was beating really fast, and I couldn’t get a good breath. It was scary.”

“Has that happened before?” Nate asked, his voice free of judgment.

“A few times,” Blaine admitted nervously. “It doesn’t happen everyday or anything, but no, this wasn’t the first time.”

“When was the first time?” Nate continued. “Did they start before or after you moved in with the Berrys?”

That was a nice way of asking whether the attack had started them, Blaine assumed. “Before. I- Honestly, I don’t remember when they started, but it was definitely before this year.”

“Have they gotten more frequent since the dance?” Nate prodded, grabbing his notepad off the table beside his chair, and flipping to a new page to jot down a note for himself.

Blaine hesitated for a moment before he chose to be honest. “They have.”

“I know that you’ve had dreams with flashbacks to the attack and to your father. Have you had any while you were awake?” Nate looked back up from the paper to meet Blaine’s eyes.

Blaine could feel his pulse start to race at having to admit to that. He considered a lie for a moment, but then wasn’t the point of this to help him? “I have. Not as long as my dreams, though. Just for a few seconds. It’s been mostly at school, though.” Blaine froze, trying to decide the best way to word this when he wasn’t willing to admit to the bullying that seemed to be the reason for most of them. “Like I had a quick one last week when a student pushed past me in the hallway.” Pushed past sounded much nicer than body checked him into a locker.

Nate made a few more notes before he changed course. “I don’t mean to ignore this issue, but I want to table it for the moment. I’d like to have Leroy come in at the end so that we can talk about strategies for helping you deal with this.”

Blaine nodded quickly. Moving on to another topic sounded perfect to him, even if they’d have to revisit this one later.

“I want to get back to what happened with Rachel, because I know how sibling relationships go. Even with a foster sibling, I’m sure there will be more conflicts in the future.” Nate flipped his tablet closed, setting it back down as he spoke. “It sounded like you thought you overreacted. Do you know why?”

Blaine had to think about that before he could phrase a response. “I guess I should have trusted that Rachel wasn’t stealing it, or that Hiram and Leroy would make her give it back if she tried.”

“Why didn’t you?” Nate prompted.

“Why should I?” Blaine replied, question for question. “She’s their daughter. I’m not their son. Why would they take my side over hers?”

“Have they reacted that way before? Trusting Rachel’s word over yours?”

“They haven’t,” Blaine had to admit. “But that’s the way it’s always gone. When I was in sixth grade, I lived with a family that had two sons close in age to me. They could do no wrong. I, on the other hand, was assumed to be a screw up from the moment I stepped into the door. Martin would take my stuff all the time, and his parents never believed that he had. I must have taken something from him first, and he was just reclaiming it.” Blaine shifted uncomfortably in his chair, pulling his leg in tight again. “One time I got really mad, and I tried to keep pushing about it. The dad hit me. I never put up a fight again, at least not in front of my foster parents.”

“Our brains don’t always seem to live in the present,” Nate said. “Sometimes, especially when faced with traumatic events, our brain makes connections for us. One of our goals here is going to be to help you understand what those connections are so that you can start to consciously change your actions.” Nate paused for a second before he asked, “How would your parents have dealt with you and your brother arguing when you were a child?”

Blaine froze, his breath hitching with the very memory. “My mother would ignore it. She’d just walk into the other room, usually. My father- We learned every quickly to never argue when he was home, but sometimes we didn’t realize and-” Blaine couldn’t finish the sentence. He shifted in his chair to wrap his arms defensively around his middle.

Nate gave Blaine a moment to collect himself before he spoke. “Have you heard of triggers?”

* * *

 

“Thank you for coming back,” Nate said, gesturing Leroy toward the couch as he walked into the room.

After a moment’s hesitation, Blaine stood, leaving his solitary chair behind to take a seat on the couch next to Leroy.

Nate shifted his own chair until he was facing both of them on the couch. “There’s something I want to talk to both of you about. Well, two things, actually. The first is that I’d like Blaine to see a psychiatrist.”

“I don’t need to-” Blaine interrupted.

Nate just a raised an eyebrow at him and asked in return, “Don’t you?”

Blaine fell silent, and Leroy took over. “How would that be different than coming to see you? Does that mean Blaine wouldn’t come here anymore?”

“I would continue to see Blaine,” Nate assured them. “A psychiatrist would be able to do some testing with Blaine and give us a diagnosis that could help me treat him. She might also prescribe medication, depending on what Blaine needs.”

Leroy nodded, considering that. “You’re the expert here. If you think it’s necessary, then I’m sure it is. Is it because of the panic attack?”

Blaine sank back into the couch, looking between Leroy and Nate. “I can handle those.”

“But you really shouldn’t have to. And what happens if you have one at a bad time?” Nate pointed out before he turned his gaze back to Leroy. “In part. When we put together several things that Blaine has told me, along with both his past history and his more recent attack, I suspect he has an anxiety disorder. What kind would be above my pay grade, and I might be wrong. Either way, what would it hurt, Blaine?”

Blaine just shrugged in response to that, because Nate had a point, even if he didn’t like it.

“Do you have any recommendations?” Leroy asked, already seeming sold on the idea.

“You are welcome to go to any of them that accept Medicaid, but I do have one that I’ve worked with before who I know accepts it. Dr. Pembroke is great, and I’ll get you her contact information on the way out,” Nate offered. “Now, the second thing I wanted to talk to both of you about is strategies to cope with and avoid panic attacks and flashbacks. I wanted both of you here because some of it is things that you and Hiram can help Blaine with when needed.”

 

* * *

 

Meeting with Dr. Pembroke had been nerve wracking. Blaine had been afraid that he’d say the wrong thing or answer the wrong way and mess up everything. What if she told him that he had some scary kind of problem? On the other hand, what if he didn’t? Would that just mean that he had to live with all the anxiety and the nightmares? He’d mostly done alright so far, but Blaine was afraid that he was reaching the end of his ability to hide how much he was struggling. Instead, he found himself torn between desperately wanting help and being terrified of what he might find out in the process.

Waiting the few days between his first and second appointment had been a new kind of hell. There was nothing he could change or do. Sleep was no easier to come by than any other day in the last few months. Concentration in school came only by sheer force of will.

Walking back into Dr. Pembroke’s office took almost as much force of will. Hiram had taken off work to come, and if anything, that increased Blaine’s nervousness. Tax season didn’t start until January, so in December, Leroy’s work schedule was much more flexible. Blaine had expected that he’d come alone to this appointment with Leroy, not be brought by both of them together.

Sitting in the waiting room gave Blaine too much time to stew. He fiddled anxiously with the velcro on his knee brace, pressing his fingers into the rougher texture and then velcroing and un-velcroing the end of the top strip over and over.

Blaine assumed that his nerves much also have been written over his face, or just telegraphed in his actions, because it didn’t take more than a couple of minutes before Leroy suggested, “Did you bring your headphones? Maybe you could use your phone to listen to some music.”

Even with putting in just one earbud so that he wasn’t completely closed off from the room, that helped. Music had the power to take just enough of the edge off that Blaine felt less like he was going to jump out of his skin.

Soon enough they were called back to Dr. Pembroke’s office. Her desk took up one side of the room, but the other was occupied by a round table. Blaine found himself facing the older woman, sandwiched between Leroy and Hiram. He gripped the edge of the table with his hands, keeping himself from fidgeting in the seat, even though it turned.

“Good afternoon. I’m glad that all three of you could be here this afternoon,” Dr. Pembroke began once they were all seated. “As you know, Blaine came in on Monday, and we did some screening assessments. We also had the chance to talk about his symptoms and his past.”

Blaine nodded, quietly, even if he felt like she was addressing Hiram and Leroy much more than she was talking to him.

“I have today his current diagnosis and a treatment plan that I’d like to discuss,” Dr. Pembroke continued.

Blaine couldn’t help but fixate on the word diagnosis. That had to mean there was something, that she saw the same problem Nate did. It was scary, and Blaine’s gut clenched in anxious anticipation, worrying about what it might be.

Leroy nodded, reaching out to rest a hand on Blaine’s arm in a quiet attempt at comfort. “We’d like to have Blaine keep working with Nate Wallace if possible. They’ve built a good relationship so far.”

“I don’t see any reason why he couldn’t,” Dr. Pembroke reassured. “He’s a great therapist.” She opened a file on the table, pulling out a stapled packet of papers. “Based on both his recent history and the events in his past, coupled with the symptoms Blaine is experiencing, he fits the criteria for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.”

Blaine’s head whipped up. “Wait. You think I have PTSD?” His mouth ran faster than his brain for a moment. “Isn’t that what soldiers get after wars?”

“It can be, but that’s not the only cause,” Dr. Pembroke slid the packet across the table. “PTSD can be caused by any kind of traumatic event. In this case, I suspect some of the signs have been there since you were a child, but the recent attack seems to be the main trigger.”

Blaine kept his eyes straight on the psychiatrist, not wanting to see the expression of either of his foster fathers. “But my dad hurt me for years. Why would this cause it if all that time hiding injuries didn’t?”

“There’s really no way to know that,” Dr. Pembroke stayed calm, even as Blaine felt his own facade evaporating more and more. “It could be the severity of the attack, or simply your age now.”

Leroy rubbed his hand over Blaine’s arm, trying to soothe him. “What does this mean as far as treatment?”

“I’ll have a permission form for you to sign that will allow me to share these findings with Nate Wallace. He’ll craft a therapy plan from there. Has Blaine been going weekly?” Dr. Pembroke waited for Leroy’s nod before she continued. “I’d also like to start Blaine on a low dose of medication. We’ll start with Zoloft. It can help to correct his brain chemistry and hopefully lessen some of the symptoms of anxiety.”

Hiram nodded, “We’ll definitely sign permission for that. Whatever will help Nate help Blaine the best.” He paused for a moment before asking, “Isn’t Zoloft an antidepressant?”

“It is, but it’s also approved for the treatment of several other mental illnesses. Some of them work through similar vectors,” Dr. Pembroke explained. “If necessary, in the future we may add a second medication to be taken just as needed. I can also write a letter for Blaine’s school district with my findings if you wish. With a formal diagnosis, Blaine would be eligible for a 504 plan to address any trouble he has at school. I’ll leave this up to you, and if it isn’t necessary now, but becomes needed in the future, let me know.”

Blaine leaned back in his seat, listening. He wasn’t sure how he felt about the concept of taking medication, but at the same time, if it helped, did he want to say no? Could he say no? He was only fourteen. He wasn’t really going to get any say in this. That wasn’t the way the real world worked. “I’m fine at school.” That was something he had stronger feelings about. Having to sit down and let anyone know at school? That would be more embarrassment than Blaine thought he could handle. He didn’t want anyone there to know about this. It would just be one more piece of ammunition.

“We’ll hold off on a plan at school,” Leroy decided after a quick look at Blaine. “Right now, Blaine’s still getting wonderful grades in honors classes. If you’ll promise to ask to go see the nurse or the counselor if you need to, we can wait to see if you need one of those, what was it? 604?”

“A 504 plan.” Dr. Pembroke pulled her packet of papers back, jotting that down along the top of the cover page. “I’d also like to see Blaine again in a month. I need to check in with him to see how he’s doing and to make sure that the medication is working right. Please give me a call earlier if there are any problems or you are seeing any side effects.”

 


	11. Chapter 11

“I’m glad both of you were able to come meet with me on a weekday. Thank you so much for taking the time out of your busy schedules to be here.” Justin ushered Hiram and Leroy back into his office with a gesture of invitation toward two chairs in front of his desk.

Hiram shrugged his woolen coat off, folding it and draping it across the back of the chair before he sat down, giving Justin a tight smile across his desk. “Is there something wrong?”

“Nothing wrong, per se. I just wanted the chance to talk to you two about how Blaine is doing and to discuss what our future plans for him will be.” Justin settled back in his chair, spreading Blaine’s file open on his desk in front of him.

“I hate to say that Blaine’s doing well, because I’m not sure that’s the right way to put it,” Leroy said. “In some ways, I see him struggling more lately, but I think that’s mostly because he’s starting to finally allow us to see him struggling, if that makes sense.”

“It does,” Justin affirmed. “For Blaine, that’s actually a good sign. One of his difficulties has always been opening up and trusting people. If he’s letting go of his need to be perfect around you, then I’d take that to be a very good thing.”

“We had his evaluation with a psychiatrist last week. I think she gave us some good information to help us help Blaine with all the anxiety he seems to be struggling with, but it came with a rather scary diagnosis,” Hiram said.

“But on a positive note, Blaine has kept his grades up, and he seems to be making some good friends at school. His glee club has their regionals competition coming up soon,” Leroy added.

“Let me know when that competition is, please. If I’m free, I’d love to come support him,” Justin said, before he gave the file on his desk another glance. “Dr. Pembroke sent a synopsis of her findings to me as well, and unfortunately, I can’t say that I was surprised by her diagnosis, given the circumstances.”

Justin glanced back at his file and cleared this throat. “When you agreed to foster Blaine, we discussed the possibility of it just being a short term placement until I found another appropriate bed for him. That’s really what I wanted to talk to you about today. There’s going to be a spot coming open in a group home that could be a good fit for Blaine. They work specifically with teenagers to prepare them for independent life, careers, and college.”

Leroy immediately glanced over to Hiram with wide eyes. They hadn’t talked about this in more than a month, and he didn’t know what his husband’s reaction would be. He just knew that Blaine didn’t feel like a temporary member of their family.

Hiram leaned forward, hands on his knees. “You want to move Blaine out of our house?”

“I want Blaine to be in a place where he can stay until the end of high school,” Justin tapped his hand against Blaine’s file. “I’ve had to move Blaine more times than I’d like. I want permanency for him, and this is a good option.”

“But our family is still an option as well?” Leroy said, heart suddenly in this throat. He knew that Blaine had been having a rough time lately emotionally, but he thought they’d been working through that well.

“That is really up to the two of you. His father and mother’s parental rights were terminated. We could move toward adoption. That would only work if the two of you are ready to commit to it. I don’t mean to pressure you, but spaces in this program aren’t frequently available.” Justin paused for a moment to look between the two men in front of him. “My role here is to make sure that what happens is in Blaine’s best interest. I would love to see him be adopted and really have a family that would support him through high school and beyond, but I can’t afford to wait for that and miss out on an opportunity to find a different sort of permanency in a program that would be a good fit. Beds don’t come open there often enough for that.”

“We need to decide?” Hiram asked.

“Take a day or two to talk about it if you’d like,” Justin replied. “Look, I know Blaine doesn’t fit the criteria you gave me of what kind of child you were looking for to join your family. He’s older. He might have more mental health needs. If this isn’t right for your family, then I will continue looking. I can’t make this decision for you.”

* * *

 

Leroy left the meeting with his head spinning. He reached out for his husband’s hand to ground him. “Coffee?”

“Do you want to have this discussion in public?” Hiram asked. “Because we really do need to talk.”

“I want to start it there,” Leroy explained on the way to their car. “Blaine is going to Kurt’s house after school, but Rachel will be home soon. I’d rather she not listen in on this.”

“The Lima Bean? I could use a chai tea latte,” Hiram slipped his hand out of Leroy’s to move around to the passenger side of the car.

“The Lima Bean,” Leroy agreed. “Caffeine could only help this discussion.”

* * *

 

Leroy waited until they both had lattes in hand and had settled in to a table as far back in the corner of the coffee shop as they could get before he brought the subject back up. “How could we let Justin move Blaine?”

“Your mind is made up?” Hiram asked with raised eyebrows. “Just like that?”

“Yours isn’t?” Leroy fired back, turning his cup in his hands to loop his fingers through the handle of the warm mug. “I could try to make this into a different kind of discussion, focus on how I can’t imagine sending Blaine off to never really have a family. Can you imagine going off to college and being totally alone in the world? But really, that’s not even it. I can’t imagine our family without Blaine in it anymore.”

“It isn’t going to be easy. You heard what the psychologist said. Are we really ready to commit forever to raising a child with mental health issues?” Hiram asked, meeting Leroy’s eyes.

“I’m ready to commit to whatever it takes for Blaine’s sake. We wouldn’t be committing to raising some unknown child. We’d be committing to raising Blaine. We know exactly what he’s struggling with now, and we’ve been handling it just fine so far, haven’t we? I can’t imagine that Blaine moving again would do anything but make it all worse. He’s finally- I don’t know how else to say it, but he finally feels like he’s ours. Don’t you feel it?” Leroy kept his tone low, not wanting it to travel too far from their table in such a public place. “For me, I guess it comes down to this. Do you love him? Do you want him to be our son?”

Hiram didn’t even have to think about that. “I can’t say that I loved him from the moment he walked into our home, but now? How could I not? Of course I love him.” Hiram paused, drawing in a deep breath before he nodded. “Then that’s our answer isn’t it?”

Leroy nodded. “I think it is. And nothing says that we can only ever adopt once. If we still want to adopt a younger child in a year or two, we can. I bet we’d be even better at it next time.”

Hiram reached over to give Leroy’s hand a squeeze. “I’ll call Justin in the morning. I guess there was really was never another choice we were going to make here, was there?”

“Not for me.” Leroy’s gaze was drawn to the door as two boys walked inside.

Blaine looked more relaxed that Leroy had probably ever seen him, laughing cheerfully at something Kurt had said. Kurt’s eyes shone with his own humor as they joined the line for coffee.

Leroy kept his gaze on them, watching them from afar. “Look who it is.” He nodded his chin toward the line, giving Hiram cause to turn and see Kurt and Blaine step up to order.

“Speak of the devil.” Hiram watched them a moment before he turned back around. “He looks so happy.”

“He does. Part of me wonders how much of it is the medication that Dr. Pembroke started him on and how much of it is the company he’s keeping.” Leroy purposely looked down every once in awhile, afraid to be caught staring too much.

“Have you heard him talk about Kurt lately? He sounds just as infatuated as Rachel is with her giant,” Hiram drawled.

Leroy was looking up at just the right time to see Blaine finally spot them when he moved to the end of the line to get his coffee. The easy, relaxed look on his face was immediately replaced with one of panic. Blaine made his way over to them as fast as he could. The fear written across his face made Leroy’s heart ache for him. “I didn’t lie to you. I promise,” Blaine said quickly, words falling almost on top of each other. “I really am going to Kurt’s. He just wanted to stop for coffee on the way and-”

Hiram held up a hand to cut Blaine off before he could spiral any further. “Relax, Blaine. Neither of us are mad at you.”

“You’re not?” Blaine’s shock at that was all too apparent. “But I didn’t tell you I’d be here.”

Leroy gave Blaine a quick smile, hoping that would dissipate some of his anxiety. “Stopping for a cup of coffee or a snack on your way to Kurt’s house is just fine. It’s not as if you told us you were going to Kurt’s and then went off to a raging party. It’s okay, really.” Leroy looked beyond Blaine to find Kurt standing awkwardly with both of their to go cups in his hands and made sure to include him in the smile. “You’re fine. Breathe. Go have fun at Kurt’s. Just give us a call if you’re going to stay for dinner so I know whether to expect you.”

Kurt stepped closer and nodded, “I’ll have to ask my dad about that.” He gave Blaine a smile, heart in his eyes. “We should get going if we’re going to have time for the whole movie.”

Blaine finally relaxed, taking his coffee cup from Kurt. “Thanks. I’ll, um, I’ll call you and let you know either way. Thank you. Thank you so much.”

Hiram turned in his seat, watching Kurt and Blaine walk back out, Kurt making some kind of comment that seemed to put Blaine even more at ease. “He is our son, isn’t he?”

Leroy nodded. “He has been for awhile, I think. The only question is, how long will it be before he realizes Kurt likes him back?”

* * *

 

Hiram made time to take off work late the next afternoon so they could go back to Justin’s office with their answer.

“You’re sure about this?” he asked his husband on the way in the door.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been more sure of anything,” Leroy replied. “Blaine might not have been who we thought we were looking for, but I think we were lucky to find him.”

“I’m going to trust you on that,” Hiram said, wishing he were as 100% sure as Leroy seemed to be.

Justin was already standing in the lobby of the building, talking to the receptionist when they walked in. He looked up at the sound of the door opening and gave them both a quick smile. “Good afternoon! Why don’t we head back to my office?”

Conversation lapsed as they walked, picking back up only after all three were seated in the same places they’d taken the day before. “I was surprised that you asked for another meeting,” Justin started off with.

“We wanted the chance to talk to you face to face about what our next steps will be,” Leroy said. “We’ve decided that we really want to adopt Blaine. He’s become so much a part of our family that I can’t imagine not having him there. He’s such a great kid, issues and all.”

A smile spread across Justin’s face. “That is wonderful news. I had a great feeling about Blaine as part of your family from the moment placing him there occurred to me. What questions do you have?”

“How would this work?” Hiram asked. “Do we need to go to court?”

“You do. But first, Blaine needs to be living with you for six months. At the end of March or the start of April, we’ll file paperwork with the court. There will be a hearing, but as long as Blaine is on board with the adoption and things continue to go well between now and then, it’s just a formality. Adoption hearings are usually one of the judges’ favorite parts of the job,” Justin explained.

“How much risk is there of the adoption not going through?” Leroy asked nervously.

“This isn’t like the adoption of a newborn where a birth parent could change their minds,” Justin continued. “Both of Blaine’s parents have already had their parental rights terminated. The only reason that the adoption wouldn’t proceed at this point if is you two changed your minds, something happened in your home to show that you are not fit parents for Blaine, or he was against the adoption. From my conversations with Blaine recently, I highly doubt he would be, but at his age, the court will consider his opinion. A relative petitioning for placement is also a possibility, but again, with Blaine, we’ve already investigated both sides of the family tree to consider any possible family placements and found nothing. As far as risk goes, Blaine’s adoption would be very low risk.”

Leroy leaned back with a nod, reassured.

“Can we tell him about this?” Hiram asked. “Or do we need to wait for those six months to pass?”

“Please do,” Justin said. “Blaine’s at an age where I think that if he feels left out of the loop, it would only lead to him losing the trust he’s building for you. I also hope that it might give him a sense of security that he’s distinctly missing right now.”

“Rachel has dance this evening, right?” Leroy confirmed with his husband. “Maybe we can sit Blaine down and talk about it then.”

* * *

 

“Am I in trouble?” Blaine asked, wide eyed, as he took a seat at the kitchen table.

“Not at all,” Leroy reassured, not even adding in a ‘unless you did something we don’t know about’ that Blaine would have expected.

“We just had something we wanted to talk to you about,” Hiram added.

“How are you feeling about living here with us?” Leroy asked.

Blaine’s breath caught. “Am I moving?”

“We hope not,” Hiram muttered under his breath.

Leroy took up the thread of conversation. “We actually wanted to ask you to stay.” He hesitated for a moment. “Hiram and I were talking to Justin this afternoon about adopting you.”

“Adopting me?” Blaine asked, dumbfounded. It seemed too much like a  fairy tale to be true. Would they really want to add him to their family?

“Adopting you,” Leroy confirmed. “We need to have custody of you for several more months before we can file for adoption, but we want to when the time comes.”

“As long as you want to be part of our family,” Hiram added. “We won’t force you to do something you don’t want to. Not with regards to something so important to your future.”

Blaine just turned to stare over at Hiram for a moment. “Of course. Of course I want to. I just- I didn’t think this would ever happen. Not for me.”

“Well, then, I think this is a great excuse to celebrate!” Leroy stood, moving around the table to catch Blaine up in a hug. “I bought ice cream. How about sundaes?”

* * *

 

Blaine stared up at his ceiling, unable to get to sleep. His mind was racing far too fast, thinking about what the future could bring with more hope than he’d felt in a long time. The Berrys actually wanted him. Rachel had confirmed as much with an excited squeal when she’d gotten home and heard the news.

He shifted, rolling onto his side to look at the clock. It was only eleven. Would it really be too late to share the news?

Blaine tried to force himself to drift off for a few more minutes before he grabbed his phone from beside his alarm clock, unlocking it with a swipe of his thumb. He pulled up the name of the person he most wanted to talk to sending a quick text as a compromise to the late hour.

Are you still awake?

It only took a minute or two before Kurt replied. I am. I just finished a paper for English.

Blaine only hesitated for a second before he pushed the call button.

It only took two rings before Kurt picked up. “Blaine? Is everything alright?”

Blaine couldn’t keep the smile on his face from spreading, even in the face of Kurt’s worried tone. “Everything’s fine. No, everything is great.”

“Great? That’s a strong description coming from you,” Kurt said, tone dry. “Did something happen?”

Blaine rolled to his back, holding his phone to his ear as he grinned at the ceiling. “I get to stay at the Berry’s.”

“Good? I didn’t know you were going anywhere.” Kurt sounded confused, and Blaine just laughed in response.

“I’m not. Not until college.” Which just seemed too perfect to be real. Even with the bullies and the drama, he’d still endure it all to get to spend the rest of high school in one spot with his friends. And Kurt. And the Berrys. “Hiram and Leroy want to adopt me.”

Kurt let out a little squeal over the phone. “Oh my God, Blaine! That’s great. That is great, isn’t it?”

“It is,” Blaine confirmed. “It really is. That means I get to have a family, Kurt. And not just a temporary one, but a real one. A family that cares about me, and a place I can come back to even after I graduate high school. I don’t have to think so much about what I’ll do when I turn eighteen, because I won’t suddenly be getting by alone. It’s kind of amazing.”

“That is,” Kurt agreed before a quick burst of laughter came through the phone. “Does that mean you’ll be Blaine Berry? That’s kind of alliterative.”

* * *

 

Winter break meant two whole amazing weeks with his bullies nowhere in sight. Living with a Jewish family, the break seemed like it would be more low key than other ones Blaine had experienced, and he had absolutely no problem with that. There was no traveling to stay with his foster family’s relatives. No extra people crowding the house. Just two weeks of family time and time to spend with his friends, two things that Blaine found himself looking forward to more than he ever really had. After all, this was really going to be his family, and these were friends he got to really keep.

“How much do you know about cooking?” Leroy asked when Blaine walked passed the kitchen late Monday morning.

“Me?” Blaine paused at the archway into the cooking space. “Not a whole lot. I can boil water?”

“Well, then. I think we have a winter break project. Some basic cooking skills are useful for everyone to know,” Leroy waved Blaine inside. “I’m just getting salad ingredients ready for lunch, but that should at least make for an easy first lesson.”

Blaine walked closer looking at the array of vegetables and a package of chicken breasts. “You’d teach me?”

“Of course,” Leroy gave him a quick smile. “Today’s lessons will be, how to hold a knife properly to not mangle yourself or the produce followed by how to grill chicken. Sound good?”

Blaine nodded, a smile creeping across his face. It felt good to have someone who cared about him and wanted to take their time to teach him these things, not because they wanted him to take over the cooking but because they wanted him to be prepared for the future.

* * *

 

Blaine found himself bopping along to the Christmas music playing softly over the office speakers as his physical therapy session drew to a close, feeling happy and loose in a way he didn’t remember feeling in a long time.

“Are you an elf or a reindeer?” His physical therapist gave him a big smile along with the words, cutting out any bite they might have held.

“An elf here to spread good cheer, of course,” Blaine said with a laugh. He picked up the chorus of the song as the PT started to clean up the equipment they’d used. “-a beautiful sight, we’re happy tonight. Walking in a winter wonderland.”

“Oh, you have a voice. Feel free to continue,” Jill said with a grin, grabbing her clipboard.

Blaine laughed and did a little spin as the words in the recording faded into a jazzy instrumental section.

“And that, right there brings us to our next point,” PT glanced down at her clipboard. “Congratulations! You are officially a physical therapy graduate.”

“What?” Blaine froze in place, the music continuing into the next verse around them. “I don’t have to come back?”

“I sure hope not,” PT joked. “Your knee has healed up nicely. You’re clear to even leave the brace off on a day to day basis, but I know Dr. Emery wants you to continue using it for any strenuous activities, which would include those dance moves. If it starts to bother you again or are there are any other problems, make sure you let Dr. Emery know, but otherwise, our visits are done.”

Blaine perked back up quickly. “That’ll make finding time for glee club so much easier. Can we go tell Leroy the good news?”

* * *

 

“Hiram and Leroy asked to adopt me,” Blaine announced, almost before he’d gotten seated in Nate’s office.

“Oh?” Nate said noncommittally. “Is that good news?”

Blaine laughed, sagging comfortably back against the plush chair. “It’s the best news. Do you know what this means?”

Nate didn’t fill in an answer of his own, instead he turned the question back onto Blaine. “What does it mean?”

“It means I get to stay in Lima. I get to live with them for the rest of high school. I get to have fathers. Real ones who care about me.” Blaine let his head fall back, grinning up at the ceiling as he continued. “When I graduate high school and go to college, I’ll still get to have them in my life. I’ll have a home. Not just for now, but one I can come back to for holidays. I won’t have to figure out my future by myself, because they’ll be there to help.”

Blaine sat up straighter, continuing before Nate had the chance to jump in. “I’d given up hope that I’d ever be adopted. I mean, I’m a teenager, and I’m kind of broken. But they know that, and they want me anyway.”

“I’m really happy for you,” Nate said honestly. “It’s nice to hear things are going well for you.”

“They really are,” Blaine sank back down again into the chair. “School’s still tough, but it doesn’t feel so very overwhelming.”

“You’re still taking the Zoloft, right? Do you feel like it’s helping?” Nate asked.

Blaine straightened up. “Do you think that’s the change? My medicine?”

“Do you?” Nate replied. “Obviously there’s other things changing for you as well, but I was wondering if it’s played a part. You seem more relaxed and genuinely more happy tonight than I’ve ever seen you.”

“I don’t know how much of it is the medicine kicking in and how much of it is the change in my future. Or a mixture of both?” Blaine cracked a smile. “I do feel less like there’s a knot in my stomach all the time. Less antsy. I caught myself smiling the other day, and I don’t even know why.”

Nate nodded, “It probably is an interplay of both. It sounds like you have a genuine cause to be happy and medicine to help you actually access the emotion.”

“Yes, exactly.” Blaine shrugged, “I wasn’t sure that I wanted to take it at first. I don’t really like what it means. I hate the label, honestly, and this just goes with that. But if I can breathe on it? Then it’s worth it.”

 

* * *

 

After too many months of decorations in stores and songs on the radio, waking up on Christmas day was rather anti-climatic. Christmas had never really been a day of running downstairs to find out if Santa had come, even when Blaine had been young. But here, there had been all the build up in society around them, but it wasn’t even a holiday. That had already come and gone.

The smell of pancakes cooking lured Blaine out of his room, still dressed in pajama pants and a t-shirt, with his hair a tangly mess of curls.

“Blaine! Come eat!” Hiram said cheerfully when he spotted the teenager. He slid the next pancakes out of the pan and onto a plate to pass to Blaine. “There’s some soy sausage on the table.”

“Thanks,” Blaine muttered sleepily making his way over the table where Rachel and Leroy were already eating. He grabbed for a bottle of actual maple syrup when he got seated, pouring a generous amount over his pancakes.

Rachel spoke up as she cut her own pancakes into bite sized pieces. “Have we decided what movie we’re going to go see today?”

“I was thinking we should see The Princess and the Frog,” Hiram called from the kitchen. “It might not be Broadway, but it is at least a musical.”

“We’re going to a movie?” Blaine asked as he took the plate of sausage, adding a couple of links to his plate.

“We celebrate a proper Jewish Christmas in this house,” Leroy said from his seat at the table.

“I thought Christmas was a Christian holiday?” Blaine asked, still too fuzzy from sleep to make sense out of that.

“Oh, it is,” Leroy said with a nod. “Which is why it’s a Jewish Christmas. Almost everything is closed today, but the movie theaters are always open, and so are most Chinese restaurants, since they’re often run by people who are also not Christian. So we’ll go to a matinee and then out for a late lunch of Chinese food. It’s traditional, though not at all religious.”

“Calling it that is mostly a joke,” Rachel added officiously. “But it is a tradition for a reason, and not just for us.”

“Right.” Blaine cut off a bite of the vegetarian sausage, dipping it into a pool of syrup that had dripped from his pancakes. “I’d love to see The Princess and the Frog. I’ve heard it’s really good.”

“Then it’s decided,” Leroy said with a grin. “You can never go wrong with Disney, even if it involves singing animals.”

* * *

 

“I brought cookies,” Blaine offered awkwardly as Kurt opened the door.

Kurt laughed, ushering him inside out of the cold and the snow. “You know the way to my heart already.” As soon as the words came out of his mouth, Kurt flushed and stammered, flustered. “I mean, cookies are good. I like cookies.”

Blaine held out a plastic container covered in cheerful snowmen, stamping the snow off his shoes onto the welcome mat inside the Hummel’s door. “Who doesn’t?” Blaine chose not to push Kurt on the other phrase, even if it made his heart flutter in his chest wishing it were real.

“Why don’t you take off those wet shoes and hang up your coat, and we’ll head down over to the living room.” Kurt cracked open the lid of the container to take peek inside. “Ooh! Chocolate chip! That’s a classic for a reason. We’ll take these in with us.”

Blaine laughed as he stripped off his outerwear, tucking his hat and gloves into the pockets of his coat. “Leroy is teaching me how to cook. We made a big batch of those this morning. Yesterday I learned to make hamburgers. Someday I’ll even manage something healthy,” Blaine joked lightly as he bent down to unlace his shoes.

“That’s an important skill to have. I do most of the cooking here, so I can help out if you need it,” Kurt offered, turning to hang Blaine’s coat up in the small closet by the door.

“Thank you.” Blaine hesitated, afraid to hurt Kurt’s feelings. “I kind of like getting the lessons from Leroy, though, if you don’t mind. I’ve never had a dad like that, you know? One who would take the time to teach me things.” Blaine couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face at being able to use the word dad to describe Leroy.

“I understand, even if my lessons were more about cars than cooking. I remember learning to do an oil change not so much because I was really interested in keeping the client’s vehicle running, but because my dad would spend time with me holding the lesson.” Kurt led the way through the foyer into the Hummel’s comfortable living room.

“I always thought things like that were really something that just happened in movies. Parents giving up their time to teach you something, to really want to spend time with you, that wasn’t really something from real life. It had to be a Hollywood fantasy. Except now it isn’t,” Blaine took a seat all the way at one end of the couch, leaving most of the space for Kurt. He glanced around the living room. It had definite touches of Kurt in the design, but overall it was a much more homey space than the Berry’s, with plush carpet, a comfortable couch, and a large recliner that must have been Burt’s.

“Speaking of Hollywood fantasies, I grabbed a few possible movies for our marathon today.” Kurt turned with several cases in hand. “I wasn’t sure if you’d be in more of a romcom mood or an action mood. Or, we could go with something like Twilight that would meld the two?”

“Twilight’s fine. I haven’t it seen it yet,” Blaine admitted, running his hands down the tight red pants he’d chosen for the day. He knew he was just coming over to Kurt’s to hang out and watch a movie, but he’d taken entirely too much time staring at the clothes he’d gotten from the Berrys for Hanukkah and never been brave enough to wear before he chose the bright pants with a white button down and a cableknit navy sweater.

Kurt’s eyes followed Blaine’s hands, and he took a longer look at his friend. “I really like that outfit. Is it new?”

Blaine nodded, “I didn’t want to wear it to school and have it get ruined.”

“Oh, I understand, but you know I can always help with that. I have magic laundry tricks by now.” Kurt paused for a moment before he turned to glance at the unlit Christmas tree. “Wait a second?”

Blaine nodded in silent response, scooting up to perch on the very edge of the couch, fighting the urge to stand and pace as Kurt ducked out toward his room. Instead, Blaine rubbed his hands repetitively over his thighs, forcing them to still when Kurt reappeared a minute later with a small box in his hand wrapped in green and red plaid paper.

“This is for you,” Kurt said, holding the gift out.

Blaine stood, putting him closer to Kurt’s height. “I didn’t get you anything.”

“Sure you did,” Kurt insisted. “You brought cookies.”

Blaine just shook his head with a shy smile as he accepted the present, carefully pulling the wrapping paper off. “That wasn’t a present. I was just sharing.”

“Sure it was. They are chocolate chip, Blaine.” Kurt hovered, his gaze fluttering back and forth between Blaine and the small box in his hands. “I didn’t plan to get you anything either, but then I saw this fabric at the store. This only needed a little bit of it so…” Kurt finished with a shrug as Blaine finally set the paper aside and pulled the top from the box.

“Oh, Kurt. It looks like the one from Thanksgiving. You made this?” Blaine pulled the navy and crimson striped bowtie from the tissue paper it was resting on.

“That’s what the fabric reminded me of. Do you want to try it on?” Kurt suggested.

Blaine looped it around his neck, flipping his collar up to tuck it underneath. “It even matches what I’m wearing. It’s perfect. Could you tie it for me?”

Kurt stepped closer into Blaine’s personal space, reaching up to fulfill the request. “You’ll have to ask one of the Berrys to teach you to do this for yourself.”

Blaine made a noise of agreement. It seemed like a more acceptable answer than telling Kurt that he’d rather not lose the excuse to have him so close.

* * *

 

Blaine leaned back on the couch, only too aware of Kurt beside him. He’d lost track of what was happening in the movie. Instead, he’d been more focused on Kurt’s nearness. The tale of Edward and Bella’s forbidden love didn’t hold as much interest as probing his feelings about Kurt. Having a boyfriend had always been something he’d forbidden himself. He couldn’t build that bond and then face losing it. But now? If he was going to get to be a Berry, permanently, maybe that was something he could have.

His glanced at Kurt out of the corner of his eye watching him gasp at something happening on screen. Was it something he wanted? To act on this attraction he couldn’t deny feeling for his friend? Yes. But at what cost? What if Kurt didn’t feel the same way? What if he rejected Blaine, and it put a permanent strain on their friendship? What if they broke up in a month? How would he get through a day, let alone several more years, at McKinley without Kurt to keep him sane? Would they just become one more piece of choir room drama?

Blaine wasn’t even aware that Kurt had paused the movie until he felt a hand on his arm.

“Are you alright?” Kurt asked, concern coloring his voice. “You seem pretty stuck in your head today.”

“I’m fine,” Blaine said a little too fast, feeling the pink heating his cheeks. “I was just thinking about-” you “life?” Blaine made it a question.

“Life. That’s pretty deep. I mean, I didn’t think Twilight would lead to those kind of thoughts,” Kurt said dryly. “Life with a vampire for a boyfriend?”

“Have you ever thought about it?” Blaine asked. “Having a boyfriend, I mean? Not a vampire one, though, I suppose, but a real, live boyfriend.”

Kurt’s eyes widened, and he turned on the couch to face Blaine, giving him a long look before he spoke. “Sometimes I dream about it. Having someone to take to the movies. Singing flirty duets. Walking down the street hand in hand.” Kurt’s words grew more and more wistful the longer he spoke. “Having someone to cuddle up together on the couch with, staring into a fire.”

“Those are, um, pretty specific examples,” Blaine said, but a smile appeared on his face all the same. “They sound lovely, though.”

“Have you thought about it?” Kurt asked in return. “Before tonight?”

“I’ve avoided it,” Blaine said honestly. “It never felt like something I was allowed to consider. How could I have a boyfriend when I could have to leave him at any time? Plus, I mean, I’m only a freshman. I never really thought about dating in middle school.”

“But now you’re thinking about it?” Kurt asked. “Because you’re not going to leave or because you like someone?”

Blaine flushed an even darker shade of red at the question. “Both,” he admitted, his heart fluttering faster. “I’m just not sure he likes me back, and I don’t want to ruin a friendship I rely on over it.”

A smile split Kurt’s face at Blaine’s answer. “I think that I can confirm that he does in fact like you back. I mean, I hope I can.”

Blaine’s grin spread wider. “You would be best source of information on that.”

“Then I’m going to say that it’s definitely worth it, even if I might be selfishly biased.” Kurt reached back out, taking Blaine’s hand in his. “And I can in fact confirm that I’m not a vampire.”

Blaine doubled over laughing, feeling positively giddy. “Well then, I should just take a leap of faith, shouldn’t I?” He waited for Kurt’s nod in response before he leaned in, closing the distance between them to press his lips to Kurt’s.

It was his first kiss, and he had to imagine that it was Kurt’s as well, and it didn’t last long, just a chaste press of closed mouths, a sweet kiss. Even so, it made Blaine’s heart beat faster, and he couldn’t stop smiling over.

The smile faded at a clearing of throats behind them that made both boys jump apart. “Blaine. It’s good to see you again.”

Blaine looked up at Burt with an expression he was sure betrayed his guilt. “Good afternoon, Mr. Hummel.”

“Call me Burt.” He insisted, giving each of them a long look in turn. “I have a feeling I’m going to be seeing a lot more of you around here. Keep it appropriate, Kurt. I’m going to go get changed.”

Kurt doubled over, head in his hands as soon as his father started up the stairs. “Oh my God! Of all moments for him to come home.”

“I am so embarrassed,” Blaine admitted. “But it was… nice, wasn’t it?”

“It was a wonderful first kiss. Just as I’d always imagined, at least until the ending,” Kurt said with a smile replacing his look of distress. “Let’s go make dinner and plan our first date. Maybe my dad can be distracted from remembering that ever happened with a good meal. Wait. You do want to go on a date, don’t you?”

“I want to go on a million dates with you,” Blaine said sincerely, grabbing the remote to turn the movie completely off.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

“I can’t believe that Schue managed to draw you and Rachel as partners,” Kurt said as he dug the textbook he needed for that night’s homework out of his locker.

Blaine shrugged, turning around to lean back against the closed locker next to Kurt’s, relaxed in the empty, late afternoon hallway in a way he never could be during the school day. “We sing plenty of duets together at home. I feel like maybe it will be a good chance to do some of the bonding she always wants to. I mean, she’s going to be my sister. I was rather more surprised to see you paired with Santana.”

“I don’t think we’ve ever really said more than five words to each other.” Kurt slid his book into his backpack and turned to face Blaine. “Either we’ll manage the best song of the lot or there will be an explosion.”

“I’ll pull for the former then.” Blaine pushed off the locker. “Do you still have time for coffee or do you need to meet up with Santana?”

“I’m not canceling our coffee date,” Kurt reassured. “It would take a whole hell of a lot more than a duets assignment for glee to make me give up my time with you.”

Blaine’s face lit up at that. As they started down the hallway, Blaine wished so much that he could reach over and take Kurt’s hand, but he knew he couldn’t. They’d agreed for good reason, beyond even his fear at the idea, to avoid any kind of PDA at school. Instead, he just said, “I love our time together, too.”

* * *

 

Blaine settled at the piano in their living room, playing the random melody that had been running through his head, morphing it slowly into a slowed down pop song. He took advantage of the empty room to add on lyrics, singing softly to himself. With Hiram and Leroy out for a date night, the house felt empty, even knowing Rachel was home. Blaine knew that he should be practicing the songs given to him by the piano teacher he’d started studying with, but it was more fun to just play.

He continued even when Rachel entered the room, coming over to take a seat next to him on the bench of the piano. She didn’t say anything until he stopped playing, the last notes of the song trailing off into silence. “You have such a nice voice. I’m really glad we got paired together this week for our duet.”

Blaine was almost surprised by how easy it was to give her genuine smile in return. “Me, too.”

“I thought you might have preferred Kurt,” Rachel said. Blaine was a little bit shocked to see the undercurrent of self-doubt riding below that statement. He’d always pegged that emotion as his, not one Rachel dealt with.

“Kurt and I will have lots of chances to sing together, I hope,” Blaine said. “Besides, I’m happy to get to sing with my sister.”

Rachel’s face lit up at that statement. “You really mean that? I’m your sister?”

“I am going to be a Berry soon, aren’t I?” Blaine asked, unable to keep a smile off his face in return.

“Did you have any ideas for songs?” Rachel asked, pulling her phone out of her pocket and using her thumb to unlock it as she continued, not waiting for a reply from Blaine. “How do you feel about Wicked? I was thinking that we might sing this one.”

Blaine listened to the song she started to play quietly for a verse or two before he leaned over to look at the screen. “As Long as You’re Mine? Isn’t this a love song? I mean, I think our voices would sound great on it, but wouldn’t it be weird?”

Rachel let out a soft hmm as she listened to a bit more of the song. “I suppose you’re right. It’s not very brotherly. Are there any good songs about siblings?”

Blaine shrugged. “Do you mind if I look?” he asked before starting to flip through the playlists on Rachel’s phone. “I mean, there’s that song about competition from Annie Get Your Gun, but I don’t know if there’s there anything really about siblings. Oh. This would be fun. Maybe inappropriate, but fun. How comfortable are you with your sexuality?”

Rachel pulled her phone back to look at the song Blaine had landed on. “Don’t they say the f-word?”

“We could edit that out,” Blaine grinned. “Come on. We need something silly to bond with, right? Do you know how to tango?”

* * *

 

Hiram paused just inside the front door, turning to quiet Leroy with a finger to his lips and a nod to the living room. Together they stopped on the threshold watching the scene before them. Blaine and Rachel were leaning close together, side by side on the piano bench, deep in discussion.

Leroy leaned in close, wrapping his arms around his husband and talking softly into his ear. “This might be a New Year’s miracle.”

Hiram nodded, “I’d say. Can we say a quick prayer that it lasts?”

Rachel stood, trying out a move of choreography, only noticing her fathers when she spun around. “Dads! You have perfect timing. Do either of you know how to tango?”

“Of course we do,” Hiram said with a wave of his hand. “What are you two working on?”

“A duet for glee. I should go get my knee brace if we’re going to dance,” Blaine decided, slipping out of the room and leaving Rachel to describe to her fathers what they were working on.

* * *

 

“Is your knee bothering you again?” Kurt asked as Blaine slipped into the seat next to him.

Blaine gave the door a quick glance, making sure no one was walking by before he took Kurt’s hand for a moment, giving it a quick squeeze. He didn’t mind anyone in glee seeing them be affectionate, but what if a football player was walking by? “No, no, it’s fine. I just need the brace when I dance. Rachel and I are performing our duet today.”

“You are? With choreography?” Kurt sighed, sliding over in his seat so that he was sitting just close enough to press his leg up against Blaine’s. “Santana and I haven’t even managed to decide on what song we’re going to sing.”

“It kind of became a whole family affair. I’m kind of surprised that Hiram and Leroy didn’t insist on coming in today to accompany us,” Blaine joked, eyes drawn to the door as Rachel strode in, walking straight over to take the empty seat on his other side.

“Did you warm up properly?” Rachel skipped the greeting. “I plan on asking Mr. Schue to let us go first, that way everyone is still paying attention and can enjoy what is sure to be an excellent Berry family performance.”

Kurt just rolled his eyes in response. “And hello to you, too, Rachel. I’m sure Blaine is plenty prepared.”

Blaine raised a hand, ready to jump in between them before tensions started to really rise when he was saved by the bell, literally.

Mr. Schue walked out of his office at the sound, clutching a handful of sheet music. “Now, I have another song I want to give a quick look today. It could be a contender for Regionals if-”

Rachel cut him off, hand high in the air. “Mr. Schue? Blaine and I have our duet ready to perform if we may? Then I’d love to hear what song you’ve chosen and see how my voice could best suit it.”

Mr. Schue waved that off, moving to take a seat, music stacked on the empty chair next to him. “By all means then, take the floor. I hope that all of you are making good progress on preparing your duets for performance by next Friday.”

Kurt reached over to give Blaine’s leg a quick squeeze, leaning in to whisper. “You’ve got this. You’re going to be amazing.”

Blaine turned to give Kurt a quick smile in return for the words of reassurance before he followed Rachel out to the floor. While she passed out sheet music to Brad and the band, Blaine took a deep breath, rooting himself in place in front of the piano. His level of stage fright had definitely decreased, especially in front of this familiar group, but he couldn’t shake that last edge of it creeping up on him before every performance.

“Blaine and I have chosen a song from Rent that I hope you will all enjoy,” Rachel said as she came back to the middle of the room. “While it doesn’t express our feelings of sibling devotion, I do think it will be a very entertaining performance.”

As the music started, Blaine glanced up at the students, waiting to see who would recognize it. The song wasn’t perfectly in either of their vocal ranges, but they’d accounted for that, and as he started the spoken word interchange back and forth with Rachel over the piano music in the background, he could see Kurt pick up on exactly what they were singing, if his silent laughter was anything to judge by.

By the time they got to the first chorus, Blaine’s nerves had faded completely into the joy of performing. He caught Rachel’s hand in his own, taking the lead as they tangoed across the choir room floor.

_The Tango Maureen_

_It’s a dark, dizzy merry-go-round_

_As she keeps you dangling_

Rachel cut in with her lines at just the right moment as they continued dancing around each other, using the whole space available to them in the choir room.

As the last line faded away, Blaine caught Rachel up in a hug, unable to hold back his joyous laughter. “That was perfect,” he whispered into her ear.

“Of course it was. I never had any doubts,” Rachel said softly back before she pulled away, turning to take her bows to the applause of the rest of the club.

“That wasn’t at all what I expected, but it was wonderful none the less,” Mr. Schue said as he stood. “Rachel, you were wonderful as always, but Blaine, you really impressed me. I knew you had a good voice, but I didn’t know you could dance and act like that. Simply wonderful. Now the rest of you will have to live up to that performance.”

Blaine beamed as he sank back into his seat next to Kurt. Even if it was just for glee club, there was nothing like the rush of a performance that had gone well.

* * *

 

“Hey gay boy!”

Blaine tucked his head down, ignoring the voice carrying over the crowd in the hallway. He just pushed through the crowd of students instead, trying to get to his locker and on to the relative safety of his next class as quickly as possible.

It might have even worked if he hadn’t gone the wrong way through the throng of students putting him directly into Spando’s path. A fist thrown into his stomach shouldn’t have been the worst thing to happen, even when it was accompanied by a shove that threw him back into the lockers. It wouldn’t have been at least if hadn’t triggered a full blown panic attack. Blaine’s chest clenched, a sensation that would have made him worry for the health of his heart if he hadn’t known exactly what was happening. Recognizing the panic attack didn’t make it stop, though, or make it any easier to breathe. Blaine sank down against the random locker he’d been pushed into grabbing his knees with shaking hands as he tried to duck away from blows that no longer existed anywhere but in his memories.

“Concentrate on your breathing. Breathe in with me. And out.” A soft voice interrupted the panicked flow of Blaine’s thoughts, and when the spots in his vision cleared enough to focus, there was a small redheaded teacher crouched down in front of him.

“Can you stand up?” she asked, offering him a hand. “My office is just around the corner.”

Blaine followed her blindly, his legs feeling as wobbly as a new faun. Once his brain started to pull itself back together a little bit more, he even recognized her. The guidance counselor Ms. Pillsbury. Mr. Schue had brought her in as a guest judge for glee club a few weeks before.

Ms. Pillsbury waited until she had Blaine seated in one of her office chairs before she said anything else. She turned back to find him a sealed bottle of water as she did. “Are you feeling better at all? Has that happened to you before?”

“A panic attack?” Blaine let himself really collapse into the chair, gripping the armrests tightly to try to keep his hands still. “A few times.” He hesitated before he decided to offer at least part of the truth. “I have-” PTSD “an anxiety disorder.” That seemed like a safer thing to admit to someone at school.

Ms. Pillsbury nodded, sliding the water bottle across her desk toward him before she took a seat, squirting a spritz of hand sanitizer onto her hands. “Do you have a plan in place for panic attacks at school? Do you have medicine at the nurse’s that we should get?”

Blaine shook his head quietly to both questions. He reached out to grab the water bottle, taking a few extra tries to turn the cap.

“You’re one of the glee kids aren’t you?” Emma asked next, turning toward her computer to pull up a school directory.

“Blaine,” he offered with another nod. “I’m Blaine Anderson.”

“Would you like me to call your mother or father?” Ms. Pillsbury offered.

“Foster fathers,” Blaine corrected, because it would still be true until the adoption finalized. “But I’ll be fine,” he insisted, hoping it was true. “I just need a couple of minutes.”

“They still should know this happened,” Ms. Pillsbury pressed before she changed tactics. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”

“Nothing,” Blaine lied.

She shook her head. “I think we both know that’s not true. I can only help as much as you’ll share.”

Blaine fell silent, trying to decide how much of the truth to tell. It was hard deciding how much to censor himself with his brain still feeling like it was half full of cotton balls. “One of the kids shoved me. I don’t know if he meant to or not. Sometimes things just set me off, and they don’t even have to be that bad.”

Ms. Pillsbury made a humming noise, and Blaine wondered just how much she believed him. “Please know that you are welcome to come here whenever you need a moment to collect yourself or someone to talk to. We can even arrange regular sessions if needed.”

“Thank you,” Blaine said automatically, taking a sip of the cold water. “I already see a therapist every week though. I don’t think I need someone else.”

“That’s very reasonable.” Ms. Pillsbury typed something into the computer, bringing up a screen with his contact info. “I do need to call your foster parents though, I think. Mr. And Mr. Berry? We do need to have a plan in place in case this happens again.”

“If you have to,” Blaine grumbled, pressing the water bottle to his cheek.

* * *

 

“Up for going out for ice cream? Or maybe coffee?”

Blaine was surprised to see Hiram waiting for him beside his locker after the school day ended, but he probably shouldn’t have been. He supposed that he’d expected it to take longer for Ms. Pillsbury to call one of his foster fathers in. “Is this an excuse to get me somewhere where I’ll be a captive audience?”

“Well, I was rather hoping you’d be doing most of the talking, actually,” Hiram responded, not looking at all guilty to be caught in the act. “But since I’m planning to sit down and have this talk with you no matter what, I thought it might be nice to add a treat into the mix.”

Blaine considered it for a moment as he looked over the books in his locker, choosing the few that he needed for his homework that night. He slid them into his message bag before he finally broke the silence to answer. “Coffee? It’s too cold out for ice cream.”

“It’s never too cold for ice cream,” Hiram replied with a quick laugh. “Grab your coat, and we’ll head to the Lima Bean.”

Blaine pulled his winter coat on as they walked through the quickly emptying halls toward the parking lot. “There’s snow on the ground and not just a dusting. That doesn’t make it too cold?”

“Nope. It just means you need to dress warmer to eat it,” Hiram kept his tone light as he led the way out into the freezing temperatures that late winter brought to Ohio.

* * *

 

Hiram waited until they both had cups of hot coffee in hand, settled at a table out of the way of the rush before he broached the subject Blaine had been waiting for. “So, Ms. Pillsbury called me in this afternoon…”

“I figured,” Blaine replied simply, cupping his coffee cup between his hands, grateful for the lid that would keep it from spilling even if his hands shook.

“Do you want to tell me about what happened? Or should I start with what Ms. Pillsbury had to say?” Hiram asked.

Blaine considered those options for a quick second before he chose to speak. It would be easier to do damage control that way. “Someone shoved me in the hallway, and I had a panic attack. Ms. Pillsbury found me.”

“Shoved you? Is there someone at school picking on you?” Hiram picked up on that detail right away.

“It’s not that bad,” Blaine quickly covered. “It’s nothing like it was at Bluffton.”

“But it shouldn’t be happening at all.” Hiram tightened his grip on his cup, knuckles going white. “Why didn’t you tell us that someone’s bullying you?”

“I never said bullying,” Blaine pointed out.

“And I’ve been your father, foster father, whatever, long enough to know how much you understate things,” Hiram fired back. “How do you expect us to help you if you don’t tell us when there’s a problem?”

“I don’t,” Blaine said keeping his voice low even as frustration colored his tone. “I can handle things myself. Besides, what would have happened I told you? You’d tell Justin, and he’d move me again. I like living with you. I’ve made good friends at McKinley, despite a few idiots. I don’t want to have to leave.”

Hiram set his coffee down, reaching out to rest a hand over Blaine’s. “But you don’t have to handle things alone. Leroy and I are there for you. You’re a part of our family, and we’d fight like hell not to let Justin move you. We can’t just leave this to get worse for you, though. Leroy and I will be meeting with Principal Figgins and Ms. Pillsbury tomorrow. It would help if you’d fill in more details of what happened.”

Blaine stared over at his foster father, meeting Hiram’s eyes as he tried to determine just how much to trust him with. “It’s really not that much more than half the glee club gets,” he finally admitted. “The same slushies, for one. But sometimes I get locker checked or they whisper things as I walk by, gay slurs mostly. It really isn’t as bad as it was as Bluffton. I just- I’m not dealing with it as well as I did then.”

“What do you mean?” Hiram asked before he quickly cued in on exactly what Blaine had meant. “Today wasn’t the first panic attack at school, was it?”

Blaine shook his head, biting his lip. “It’s not usually a big one like that. Sometimes- sometimes it’s more of a flashback. But usually- usually it’s just a moment of fear and then it’s gone.”

Blaine was waiting for Hiram to jump down his throat for not telling them it was causing flashbacks, but instead he just nodded and moved on. “I would suspect that Principal Figgins will eventually want to talk to you, but do you want to be there for the whole meeting, or do you want Leroy and I to handle as much as we can?”

“I’d rather be there.” Blaine didn’t even have to think about his answer, even as surprised as he was to be given the choice.

“Then I’ll make sure you are included.” Hiram stood, grabbing his coffee cup. “You ready to go? I need to stop by the grocery store and pick up a couple things Leroy wanted for this new recipe he found. Bring your coffee along.”

* * *

 

Blaine sank back on the principal’s couch staring between the administrator and his foster fathers. He’d managed to mostly stay out of the principal’s office in the past, but on his few trips, there certainly hadn’t been anyone there with him to defend his needs with this amount of passion. Sitting next to Hiram and Leroy on this couch was the very opposite of those trips, even if they did have to face Principal Figgins across the small sitting area. It turned out that facing the principal together with the Berrys was so much better than being forced to do it alone.

“-and this school should be a safe place, free of bullying for all students.” Hiram leaned forward, hands smacking his knees in emphasis. “I’m trusting that you provide that for both of my children.”

“But isn’t Blaine your-”

Leroy cut Principal Figgins off before the man could stick his foot any farther into his mouth. “We may still be in the process of adopting Blaine, but that doesn’t make him any less ours than Rachel is.” Leroy rested a hand on Hiram’s knee, keeping his husband from butting in. “And even if it did, why would that matter here? Would you say that you’re more tolerant of bullying against a student in foster care? Because I have a friend who is a lawyer for the ACLU and-”

Principal Figgins raised his hands in the air in a gesture of surrender. “Alright! Alright! But what do you want me to do?”

“Well for starters, you could at the very least pull in the boys in question and their parents to talk about their behavior and how it may affect future sports eligibility. Have the teachers do a better job policing the hallways between classes,” Hiram ticked off each note on his fingers. “Outlaw slushies.”

“Tell students they can’t have a favorite sugary drink?” Principal Figgins shook his head. “I’m not sure that would go over well.”

“Too bad. How many of those drinks are actually consumed versus thrown at a fellow student? I’m sure it would not only save on janitorial bills, but it would also be good for the physical health of the students as well as their mental health,” Leroy jumped in. “We can talk about adding units to the curriculum to combat bullying, including bullying based on sexual orientation, at a later date if needed.”

“And we won’t even get into support of arts programs,” Hiram said with a shake of his head.

“Fine,” Principal Figgins agreed, much to Blaine’s surprise. “I will hold a meeting those boys and their families and ban slushies. Teachers already roam the hallways between classes, but I will remind them to pay attention.”

“I expect that to help. If it doesn’t, you’d better believe that my husband and I will be right back in here, and next time we will bring our lawyer friend along,” Hiram threatened. He turned his head to pull Blaine back into the conversation. “Does that work for you?”

Blaine nodded, breaking his silence to say, “I guess so. If it gets them to stop, it would be good.”

“Good, now, I thought that the counselor was going to join us?” Leroy asked. “Our other order of business for the morning was to set up a plan to help Blaine with his anxiety issues, right?”

As if mentioning her had the power to summon her, Ms. Pillsbury pushed through the glass door into the office, looking flustered. “I am so sorry that I am late. I got tied up with a student who needed me.”

* * *

 

The meeting that morning got Blaine out of two of his morning classes, but he’d needed to attend the other two, no matter how raw it had left it feeling. By the end of Biology, Blaine knew he couldn’t face the lunchroom today. Instead he pulled his phone out, sending Kurt a quick text as he walked to the auditorium. He didn’t want his boyfriend to worry or think that Blaine had just ditched him.

Blaine climbed the ladder to the costume loft when he got backstage, suddenly able to breath freely again in the hideaway Kurt had shared with him.

He’d just pulled out the blanket Kurt had stuffed behind a costume rack and spread it out over the floor, when he heard the sounds of a second person climbing the ladder. Blaine pushed down his momentary panic when Kurt’s head popped up over the edge of the loft.

“Do you mind company?” Kurt asked, hovering on the ladder.

“Not if it’s you,” Blaine replied.

“Well, good, because I brought lunch.” Kurt held a brown paper bag up over the edge of the loft before he climbed the rest of the way up.

“You did?” Blaine asked with surprise. “But I just texted you a couple of minutes ago.”

“You told me last night that you were meeting with Figgins today. I figured you might want to escape afterward.” Kurt sank down on the blanket next to Blaine, close enough to press their legs right up against each other.

After a quick glance around that told him the almost always empty costume loft was indeed empty, Blaine leaned against his boyfriend, dropping his head down to Kurt’s shoulder. “You’re getting to know me too well.”

“Isn’t that part of the idea of being boyfriends?” Kurt tilted his head, resting his cheek against Blaine’s short curls. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Maybe.” Blaine let his eyes fall shut as he continued, rather glad to be sitting a position where he didn’t have to see Kurt’s face, and therefore his reactions, as he spoke. “Principal Figgins promised to take care of the bullies. I honestly doubt anything will change, but we’ll see. It was kind of amazing, having Leroy and Hiram there to stand up for me.”

“Of course they would,” Kurt said quickly. “And not just because they’re adopting you. You know that they must have fought down teachers, at the very least, on things Rachel has said or done over the years, ones with far less merit. How else would she be so convinced that she’s always right?”

Blaine laughed at that. “She’s really not that bad. Sometimes I think she just doesn’t know when to put her ego aside.”

“Exactly,” Kurt said, pulling a pair of Ziploc bags out of his paper bag. “Food? It’s just sandwiches, but I thought something basic, comfort food really, might be perfect right now. I have ham or turkey.”

“I’ll take the ham.” Blaine sat up straighter to take the offered sandwich, but he stayed pressed up against Kurt’s side from shoulder to hip to knee. “Anyway, if Principal Figgins follows through, we might see slushies banned on campus.”

“Now that would be a step in the right direction.” Kurt unwrapped the other sandwich with a grin on his face. “The dumpster tosses have pretty much stopped since Puck and Finn joined glee, so without slushies? I might be able to actually wear whatever I want to school without fear of it getting ruined.”

“Look out McKinley High. They are about to experience fashion beyond their wildest dreams,” Blaine teased gently. “I, for one, would very much enjoy that. I love your fashion sense.”

“Well, thank you!” Kurt turned to give Blaine a quick kiss on the cheek in return for the compliment. “So the meeting went well, then? Figgins agreed to pull his head of his ass and deal with the bullying, and to ban slushies to boot?”

“Pretty much. And then Ms. Pillsbury came.” Blaine hesitated, trying to decide just how much of what followed that he wanted to trust Kurt with. “We set up a plan to deal with all my mental health stuff in case I have a panic attack or something in school.”

“That’s good right?” Kurt asked.

“I hope so. It was just really uncomfortable to do. I had to share all kinds of stuff with Principal Figgins and Ms. Pillsbury that I’d rather have kept private.” Blaine set his sandwich down, reaching out to take Kurt’s hand in his, rubbing his thumb over Kurt’s palm. “The worst part of it is that all my teachers have to get a copy. I mean, they don’t get all the details, just the accommodations, but still, if it looks like what I saw today, it’s going to say why I need it. I don’t want all my teachers looking at me like I’m damaged or like they’re going to be waiting for me to freak out or break down.”

“This is McKinley. Half of them probably won’t even read it,” Kurt pointed out, entangling his fingers together fully with Blaine’s.

“That’s unfortunately probably true,” Blaine said with a sigh. “But it also makes me doubt that the ones who do will keep their mouth shut about it like they’re supposed to.” Blaine sucked in a deep breath, deciding that now was the time to tell Kurt the whole truth before he could hear it from teacher talking about thing they shouldn’t. “It’s a big formal paper with accommodations for classes, but right at the top it says that I have PTSD.”

“PTSD?” Kurt pulled away just enough to shift position on the floor, turning so that he could more easily see Blaine’s face. “Isn’t that what makes soldiers freak out?”

Blaine tugged his hand out of Kurt’s, wrapping both arms tightly around his waist, hugging himself as he nodded. “It is. But that’s not all there is to it. Any kind of trauma can cause it, and it doesn’t mean I’m violent. I just- sometimes I just get flashbacks or panic attacks. Sometimes I get nightmares. I’m working on all of that with my therapist, but I know it sounds scary.”

Kurt leaned forward, resting a hand reassuringly on Blaine’s knee. “It kind of does,” he admitted, before a flash of recognition crossed Kurt’s face. “I’ve seen that happen before haven’t I? Like when you get slushied?”

“You have. Not all that scary, right?” Blaine asked, his tone almost plaintive. “That’s how this whole meeting happened. I got shoved into a locker and ended up having a panic attack. Ms. Pillsbury found me, and then all the rest of this happened.”

“Not all that scary.” Kurt scooted back around, wrapping an arm around Blaine’s back. “I bet Ms. Pillsbury even has a brochure on what I should do if it happens when we’re together right?”

Blaine surprised himself with a laugh, sheer relief at his boyfriend’s acceptance breaking through his worry and fear. He gave into impulse, pulling Kurt closer to kiss him, pouring all his giddy relief into it.

Kurt shifted his hands up, wrapping them loosely around Blaine’s neck. When he finally broke away a moment later, Kurt smiled over and said breathlessly, “If that’s the reaction it gets me, I should make you laugh more often.”

Blaine dropped his head to his chest, more laughter bubbling up through him.

Kurt hesitated for a moment, looking off over the edge of the loft at the silent backstage area. He pressed a hand to Blaine’s cheek, gently guiding his head back up. “We’re totally alone. Do we really have to stop?”

Blaine stared over into Kurt’s eyes. It only took him a moment to let desire win over any lingering fear. He answered by simply closing the gap between them, fisting his hand in Kurt’s hair as he pressed a deeper kiss to his lips.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They song they duet on is of course The Tango Maureen from Rent.


	13. Chapter 13

**May 2010**

Hiram reached out to straighten Blaine’s bowtie with a smile for the teen. “Are you ready for this?”

Blaine nodded as a grin spread across his face. “So ready. You sure you’re not going to change your mind?”

“Of course not,” Hiram replied. “You’re not changing yours.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Blaine said in return. “So I guess we’re really going to be stuck with each other.”

“Forever,” Rachel added in, hands smoothing the flowing skirt of her navy dress. “I’ve always wanted a little brother.”

Blaine laughed, giving Rachel a genuine smile. “And there are definitely worse things in the world than having an older sister.”

“They should let us in soon. Are you all ready?” Justin asked as he walked up to join the group.

“We were ready months ago,” Leroy said, wrapping an arm around Blaine’s shoulders. “This is just the chance to make it official so we can have an excuse for a good party this afternoon, right?”

Blaine laughed. “Is having my glee cub over for karaoke and snacks really a good party?”

“Sounds like a grand old time,” Hiram joked. “You know that your father and I plan to join in on the singing. Because what good is it to have dads if we can’t start embarrassing you right away?”

Rachel shook her head. “You two are only allowed to sing if if I get to approve your song choice. I will not have a repeat of the Chicken Song.”

“You were eight!” Leroy said through laughter.

“Yes. And it took until I was sixteen for me to risk another birthday party.” Rachel turned to Blaine. “See, this is why I need a brother. We will have to hold out together in solidarity.”

Blaine nodded, biting his lip to try to keep from laughing.

“Oh no! What have we done? How will we survive if the teenagers form a coalition against us?” Hiram asked dramatically.

Justin just shook his head, not bothering to hold back his own laughter. “I might be a little bit worried if I thought that any of your were actually serious.”

Leroy gave Blaine’s shoulders a squeeze. “Well, we’re serious about the adoption, and we really were serious about getting to sing at least one song tonight. At least we will if we can find the time between all the love songs you must have planned with your boyfriend, Blaine.”

Blaine flushed, but he laughed at the same time. “Hey! Kurt and I sing more than just love songs. I can’t help it that we both love music. Kurt has good taste in many things.”

“Well, don’t plan all your duets with him,” Rachel insisted. “We need to celebrate our official siblinghood the Berry way.”

“The Berry way? Does that involve lots of Broadway songs?” Justin asked.

“I think you’ve gotten to know us too well in the last few months,” Leroy pointed out.

* * *

Blaine had stood in front of Family Court judges before. Walking into a courtroom might have been brand new for Rachel, but it wasn’t for him. His first time had been the nightmare that was testifying against his father, the broken arm that had finally tipped off the emergency room staff still wrapped in a cast. Today was a totally different situation, one that he was surprised to find didn’t even bring back the rush of fear that memories of that day in court usually brought.

They didn’t have to wait for any other cases on the docket, so Justin and the DCFS lawyer were called up in front of the judge fairly quickly. The reason for the hearing was quickly established, and Blaine was called up. He walked up to stand in front of the judge, a petite blond women, with a confidence that surprised him.

“It’s good to see you here under such happy circumstances,” Judge Emery said. “I just want to ask you a few quick questions, Blaine. I promise it will be painless.”

Blaine laughed at the judge’s words, giving her a quick smile. “I’ll hold you to that.”

“You are old enough to get a say in your future, Blaine,” Judge Emery said with a smile in return. “Are you in favor of this adoption? Do you want the Berrys to adopt you?”

Blaine nodded quickly, not even needing to think about that question. “I am. I’d given up hope that I’d ever be adopted, but the Berrys are great.” Blaine turned back to see Hiram and Leroy shooting him supportive looks. “Things haven’t always been easy the last few months, but they’ve always been there for me, fighting in my corner.”

Judge Emery nodded in return. “That is great to hear, Blaine. Hiram and Leroy Berry?”

“That would be us,” Hiram said as they stepped forward, standing on either side of Blaine. Leroy reached out to wrap an arm around Blaine’s shoulders, giving him a quick squeeze before he pulled away.

“What made you choose to adopt? And to start with a teenager?” the judge asked, with a quick glance down at the paperwork in front of her.

“Well, we already had one teenager, so we figured, why not add another to mix?” Hiram joked dryly.

Leroy gave his husband an amused look before he gave a more serious answer. “We really wanted to add another child to our family and had no desire to start again with an infant. Then Blaine found us, and he’s just been a great addition to our family.”

“We were really lucky in that placement,” Hiram cut back in. “Blaine is a great young man, and he fits into our family so well. He’s the piece of it we didn’t realize we were missing.”

The judge nodded, taking another moment to flip through Blaine’s paperwork. “And so, since everything looks in order with the paperwork, it is my great pleasure to approve this adoption.” She signed with a flourish of her pen. “And you are now officially Blaine Devon Berry. Would you all like to come up for a first family picture?”

* * *

Many, many pictures were taken at the courthouse in all kinds of combinations. By the time they got into the car to head back home, Blaine was certain that the spots in front of his eyes were permanent.

Blaine knew that they were planning an adoption party, but he didn’t expect nearly the number of people he found filling the basement. He froze on the top of the stairs staring over the crowd. Most of the glee club was there, of course, but then so were quite a few of his teachers. Justin. Nate. Quite a few of Hiram and Leroy’s friends, including the whole crowd from Thanksgiving.

Rachel grabbed his hand, yanking him down the stairs after her. “Come on! Everyone’s here to celebrate us, our new complete family. We should take it all in.”

Blaine had no doubt that Rachel planned to parade him around with her to gather as much attention as possible, so he wasn’t disappointed at all to see Kurt waiting for them at the bottom of the staircase.

“Rachel. Do you mind if I steal my boyfriend away from you?” Kurt didn’t even wait for a reply before he took Blaine’s other hand in his. “I heard a rumor of cake. Care to see if that was based in truth?”

“Thank you,” Blaine whispered as soon as they were out of Rachel’s earshot. Having all eyes focused on him might not send him into the kind of tailspin it would have a few months before, but it still wasn’t something he was terribly comfortable with.

“No problem. I save you and get cake in the process. Win, win. Knowing Mr. and Mr. Berry, it’s bound to be something delicious,” Kurt replied with a grin, keeping his hand in Blaine’s. “So how does it feel to have all this be official?”

“Relieving,” Blaine said quickly. “I can drop the worry that something will come up and the adoption won’t go through. As of about an hour ago, I am officially Blaine Berry.”

Kurt gave his hand a squeeze. “I’m really happy for you. For one thing, that means I get to keep you here at McKinley with me.”

“You’re never getting rid of me,” Blaine promised as he came to a stop in front of the bar in the back of the basement. The alcohol was still locked away, but the surface of the bar was covered with finger foods, a sheet cake, and a bowl of punch.

“Ooh, it does look good.” Kurt finally dropped his hand in favor of taking one of the precut pieces of cake. “Chocolate with cherry filling. Yum. Want a piece?”

Blaine nodded his head, trying to hold back his laughter over Kurt’s enthusiasm. “Yes, please.”

Cake in hand, the two of them made the rounds. Kurt stayed by Blaine’s side as they were stopped by person after person to congratulate Blaine.

“I kind of feel like you should have a receiving line,” Kurt leaned over to whisper.

Blaine laughed, trying to cover it by looking down at what was left of his cake, but he didn’t have long before he heard his name called again.

“Blaine! I know I said congratulations earlier, but let me repeat it,” Justin said, stopping in front of them with Nate beside him. “I know that I’m not your social worker anymore, you’re done with that now, but I’d still love to hear how you’re doing, alright?”

Blaine nodded with a smile. These two at least were easy enough to talk to. “Thank you. Justin, Nate, meet my boyfriend, Kurt. Kurt, this is Justin and Nate, my therapist.”

“Oh, so you’re Kurt,” Nate said with a teasing tone to his voice.

“Uh oh,” Kurt gave Blaine a quick raised eyebrow look. “What have you told him about me?”

“Good things! Only good things!” Blaine cut in quickly, before he landed himself in the doghouse.

“That is true,” Nate offered over his hand for Kurt to shake. “And I am just teasing. I would never share anything Blaine entrusted me with. Congratulations, by the way.”

“Thanks,” Blaine said with a relieved sigh, that made the rest of the little group laugh.

“Testing, testing.” Hiram’s voice carried across the basement from the microphone set up on stage. “Oh good! This works! Now, before we move on to the karaoke portion of today’s party, Leroy and I wanted to say a few words.”

Leroy finished adjusting dials on the speaker and hopped up onto the basement’s small stage to join his husband. “Where’s Blaine?” He scanned the crowd, eyes landing on Blaine after only a few seconds. “There you are! Come up here so we can embarrass you,” Leroy joked, waving at a spot in front of the stage.

“Let me grab those,” Justin muttered, taking Kurt and Blaine’s cake plates so they could both move up to that space.

“Well, that is what parents are for, right?” Hiram said with a wave of his hand. “And we have years of lost embarrassment to make up for.” He laughed at Blaine’s shake of his head in response. “No? Ah well, on to the speech then.”

Leroy leaned in to speak more clearly into the microphone Hiram was holding. “The speech?” He patted the pockets of his sport coat. “Did you bring the speech?”

“What? No speech?” Hiram gave an overly dramatic sigh. “Then in true Berry tradition, we’ll have to just sum it up and sing about it. Blaine, we just wanted the chance to say here in front of all our extended family, a family built largely by choice, just how lucky we are to have you join us. We couldn’t have asked for a better addition to our family.”

“And now, a song,” Leroy said, gesturing to Rachel where she had been waiting beside the stage. She hopped up, passing an extra microphone to Leroy, who immediately put it to use. “The lyrics to this might not be a perfect fit, but we decided that the overall message is exactly what we wanted you to remember from today, Blaine.”

As the music started, Blaine tried to place the song. Definitely Broadway, but then what else had he expected?

Rachel started the song off, stepping center stage with one of her dads on each side.

_Mother cannot guide you._

_Now you’re on your own._

_Only me beside you._

_Still, you’re not alone._

Kurt reached out to reclaim Blaine’s hand as the music continued. Blaine shot him a quick smile as Hiram and Leroy took the next piece, their voices meshing together with the ease that came from years of practice.

_You move just a finger,_

_Say the slightest word,_

_Something’s bound to linger._

_Be heard._

_No one acts alone,_

_Careful._

_No one is alone._

Rachel joined back in, taking the higher part back from Hiram as they finished the song.

_No one is alone._

_Hard to see the light now._

_Just don’t let it go._

_Things will come out right now._

_We can make it so._

_Someone is on your side-_

_No one is alone._

Blaine squeezed Kurt’s hand in his as the song wound down. It was true. He wasn’t alone any longer. He had friends, a family, and a boyfriend. He turned for a moment to find Justin in the crowd. Maybe he’d never really been quite as alone in all of this as he thought.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it. The song in this chapter is No One is Alone from Into the Woods.


End file.
